"alcoholism a disease or an excuse"

How it all begins 

Alcoholism is the most underrated and untreated disease in the world. Tons of people die from this disease daily and it shouldn’t be that way. Treatment isn’t always necessary; a life of balance and hard work is. When I first learned that I was an alcoholic treatment wasn’t even an option. It is impossible to just shove an alcoholic into a program if they don’t want to change, and I wasn’t ready to change. We have to fully accept everything and agree a change needs to be made, and if we don’t it’s a hopeless battle.

Most alcoholics figure out they have a problem way before they ever get to treatment, but they don’t want to admit and accept it. It’s a disease of the mind that moves its course depending on how much you allow it to take control of your life. What I’m trying to explain is that if you don’t allow it to gain a foothold you can actually stop. Alcoholism has messed with me my entire life and has caused me to lose many a friend and relationships. The battles it has caused in my life are a testament to how deadly of a disease it can be.

Being an Alcoholic

The uncontrollable urge to drink consumes your life. You can think about nothing else, no matter what it may cost (job, friends or even family). Alcohol is everything to you, nothing comes before it. I was between 24 and 25 years old when I let alcohol take over my life, and that’s what threw me into the hell that I have been living through for the past 9 years.

 Alcoholism isn’t about partying too much and having fun. The majority of alcoholics drink alone and don’t hang out with people. When you start down the path to alcoholism you become ashamed of yourself and no longer enjoy being around anyone. It is one of the things that makes this disease so deadly, you turn your back on everyone. I lack a better way of saying it, but you become a hermit, alone, miserable, and drowning in your own sorrow.

Related: Overcoming Mental Illness to Find Financial Peace

 As an alcoholic I can relate to all of this, M tried so many times to get me to hang out with people, only to have me say I would rather stay home. The majority of people can’t understand this about alcoholics, we fear people and anything that can save our lives. We live off misery and depression, its what motivates us in life. Depression is the only thing we can cling to and control. I know it sounds crazy, but we are only searching for some point of stability. We end up finding that in misery, and that is what makes it so easy to become lost forever.

Having someone that believes in you

I cannot stress to you how important this is and how hard it will be for the person that is trying to help you. M lived by the idea of “I am going to love you until you love yourself” and I fought her tooth and nail on it. Finding someone that is willing to expend this amount of effort is extremely rare and requires someone that has a huge heart and will love you no matter what you do. Today I am able to write about this and share my story because of what she did for me. Having someone that believes in you makes the process bearable. Things will move slowly if you’re doing it correctly, take solace in the fact that if it is going slowly you are actually repairing your life.

Now

 I have spent years beating the crap out of myself and saying I was a worthless person. Now I spend each day finding the ways that I was a positive influence on people. Everyone has parts of them that are positive and I have made it my goal to find them for myself. My strengths are that I work extremely hard at anything I devote my attention to, and I care about people to a point that it’s almost uncanny. Focusing on these things instead of obsessing about my hatred of myself has allowed me to find peace.

 Alcoholism is a devil of a disease, but it doesn’t require treatment. Hard work and looking at your inner self helps. Finding out what makes you may be the one thing you need. Depression will always feed off of despair, don’t allow that in your life and you’re on the right track. Any day I wake up and find that life is going to be difficult, I smile and say bring it on!

Get it on Amazon: Loving Someone in Recovery: The Answers You Need When Your Partner Is Recovering from Addiction (The New Harbinger Loving Someone Series)

 Here’s to all the other alcoholics out there and the people that are trying to help them. Stay strong and believe in yourself (or them). It’s a long process, but it’s not un-achievable. This is just my path and my story of how I overcame it. Do you have your own story that you want to share? I’m all ears. All any alcoholic/addict has every wanted is for someone to listen to there story. Well, I am here and will always will be around to listen. In future posts I will elaborate on specific situations and what it did to my life.  I am posting this so people can start to understand the disease and how horrible it is. I feel it’s important for people to understand that before I share my experiences.

Sincerely,

J

 

*Links with this next to it are affiliate links. That means I’ll receive a small commission if you decide to click on it and buy something. Don’t worry, it doesn’t cost you anything extra!

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"Mental Illness"

 

Mental Illness

Mental illness effects tons of people across the world in a variety of ways. I have suffered from a series of mental illnesses including alcoholism, bipolar and severe depression for most of my life. I would estimate that I didn’t even know I had issues for about 90% of it.  As sad as it sounds, I always just assumed that there was something wrong with me. Now that I know about these mental health issues I can look back and understand exactly how they have affected me. I’m also able to see how they fed off of each other making my mental state worse and worse as each one fought for dominance in my head. I used alcohol to combat my bipolar so things would seem normal, but that fed the depression and led to some incredibly erratic moments.

 

The Early Years

One of the earliest things that I remember is constantly spending money on superficial items. I used this as a way to boost my self-esteem. Another thing was my inability to focus in school, which affected my grades so much that I didn’t go to college. The lack of a college education resulted in missing out on a lot of job opportunities in life.  Nevertheless I was still ambitious about my opportunities.  I didn’t give up; I kept trying to live by the idea of “you can accomplish anything in life if you try hard enough”. Unfortunately, this isn’t always true. I ended up failing miserably at a lot of my life goals, which gave the depression a chance to gain a solid foothold. This opened the floodgates for all of my illnesses to band together and create a never-ending train wreck of epic proportions.

Train Wreck

This period of my life was a blur of wild drunken binges, manic phases that usually involved blowing large amounts of money, and severe bouts of depression that made my obsession with hating myself worse. Throughout these years I could barely hold down a job, and when I did there was this inevitable feeling that I would find a way to lose it. I finally got to the point in my life where it was just easier to do nothing rather than having to worry about something. My philosophy was “if you don’t do anything you can’t fail at anything”.

Meeting M

It wasn’t until I moved in with M that I started on my path of recovery. However, there were still a lot of hurdles to overcome and the process was slow. Finding yourself as a person isn’t easy, and having a mental illness makes it all the more difficult. Over the years she worked with me, and I began to overcome some of these issues. However, my mental illness fought back. I struggled to manage them and this was a trying period for both of us.

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Life on its terms

Currently there are still parts of my life that haven’t been fully corrected.  I have been slowly addressing all of the mental illnesses and seeing a therapist. I’m working on managing a budget and learning to live life on its own terms, whereas in the past I tried to fit everything into my own narrative. I have a job that I like, and I’ve started putting money into my 401K and buying company stock. It’s not much yet, but this is my start to FI/RE and my path to financial peace.

 

Mental Illness

My Path to FI/RE

I know my path to financial peace isn’t going to be quick or easy. It’s a long-haul journey,  and I’ve accepted that steady will win the race. I have a great start with a good job that offers a 401K. I’ve started putting away money (starting small, I know I can’t afford to give up 20% of my paycheck yet, and that’s ok!). You would be amazed at how far a small win like starting a 401K goes towards boosting my energy and making me actually want to do more with life. I’ve learned that having a mental illness doesn’t have to keep me from FI/RE or anything else in life. It can be tough, but it’s not impossible.

I want to stress that if you or someone you know struggles with mental illness it’s not impossible to get on the right path. The key is to start slow. Get the little things in life figured out first – find a good job and manage your medication correctly (Can’t stress how important this is!). It’s also incredibly important to see a therapist once or twice a month. Sometimes just being able to vent every once and awhile can make all the difference in the world. I’m not going to sugar coat things, it’s a long process that won’t be figured out overnight (One of the biggest mistakes I made was attempting to fix everything overnight). But nothing worth doing is easy, right?  It’s definitely achievable, and having partners on your path will make it that much easier.

I’ve just started my path to financial freedom, but I am loving the journey so far. Here’s to the coming years and all it has to offer.

– Sincerely, J

 

*Links with this next to it are affiliate links. That means I’ll receive a small commission if you decide to click on it and buy something. Don’t worry, it doesn’t cost you anything extra!

 

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