"Stressed out!"

I had a terrible day at work today. A miserable, terrible, epically awful day. I’m totally stressed out about it, and it wasn’t even that bad!

What happened?

I got yelled at by my boss for something stupid. I didn’t really do anything wrong, but he was mad that things weren’t the way he needed them to be, so he took it out on me. Has anyone else experienced something like this? Its pretty awful getting yelled at for anything, and when your livelihood depends upon it, it’s even worse. I wouldn’t get fired over a stupid thing, but for some reason the stress trigger in my body doesn’t know that. It’s a bit dysfunctional.

Logically, I know that what happened today wasn’t a huge deal. I know that the absolute worst thing that can possible happen is a write up, and the chances of that happening are super slim. So why am I so anxious?  Why am I so upset that I made a tiny mistake in my boss’s eyes?

Stressed out – signs of stress

Seriously, I had a hard time functioning all day after I got yelled at (and it wasn’t even an ass chewing, I could just tell he was mad and disappointed…like I said, it wasn’t even that bad). My stomach hurt, my nerves were on fire, I was super jumpy, scared that someone would come in and mention my epic failure. It was awful. And I’m sure I’ll feel the same way tomorrow, and the rest of the week as well. Trust me, being stressed out is not fun!

 

Why am I so super anxious about a minor problem at work?

Because I need this job. I do. I’m not at the point yet where I can say “fuck you!”. Seriously, some “fuck you” money would be super awesome right about now. But I don’t have it so I still need this job.  I need it for a minimum of three more years to solidify my pension. I need this job for these next three years to ensure that I’m able to live the FIRE lifestyle I want for the rest of my life afterwards. Also, I need this job to pay my current bills!! 

Related: Our Path to FIRE

I know that one minor issue isn’t going to cost me my job. I know that, and you know that. But being stressed out all day really solidified my desire for financial freedom. This isn’t healthy. Its not healthy to be so worried about a little thing that you did wrong at work that you can’t enjoy the rest of your day. It’s not healthy to have to take abuse from bosses because you need the paycheck (Not that my boss is abusive…he’s usually really awesome, but he was super stressed out today too!).

When I’m Financially Free, I won’t have to worry about any of this anymore. I can be my own boss, or I can walk out of work if my boss gives me a hard time about anything. I won’t have to be stressed out anymore. Not Needing a job will give me power that I don’t currently have. And that’s one of the reasons I’m walking this FIRE path.

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6 thoughts on “Stressed Out – Having a Rough Day at Work

  1. I’m sorry you had a tough day! I’m a people pleaser so any inkling of others not being happy with me puts a knot in my stomach. But, it’s awesome that you get a pension – that is a great benefit to make the most of.

  2. Sorry you had such a bad day at work. Anxiety/stress reaction isn’t always proportional to the situation. If you’re 3 years away from fire, are you really that tied to the job? I mean aside from it throwing your FIRE plans off a little. Health matters too.

    In the end though, sometimes it’s a sign you just need some recharging time (not to over simplify feelings or situations). For me that’s hiking. What about you?

    • I am really tied to the job, because I’m 3 years away from Barista Fire, not never having to work again. I think being stressed out for three years is a great trade off for being able to live life on my own terms after that. I do get recharged from hiking and exercising. Mediation and writing also help me though. Thanks reading and thanks for your thoughtful comment!

  3. At my last job not my manager, but one of the managers who was a project lead yelled at me, and my reaction was to yell back. I felt not great, and spent time reflecting on why I reacted that way and what I could do to avoid it in the future. The one time he scolded me for emailing someone’s manager! We were in a time crunch, and I needed an answer to do my job the next day, and I’d gotten the person’s out of office message saying to go to their manager with questions. The sad thing is people didn’t seem to believe he was like that. Until one day in a different manager’s office, he blew up at a coworker and I. I’d found an error, before we had shared the info, but the berating included “how will we look to the other groups!”, and the like. I watched the 2nd guy’s face as he realized what had been going on.
    While I learned about my self from the experience I’ve also set some boundaries about what I refuse to tolerate anymore. Not being believed is part of that.
    I hope you have been able to move forward from this incident. And keep on the path to fu $ / FI.

    • Thanks for the kind words and for sharing your story! I did move forward (I was never even really mad at my boss, he’s a good guy). But I’m definitely keeping my eye on that FI prize!

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