Attraction is crucial in a relationship. We typically first notice our partners based on their looks and develop a deep love for them as we get to know them.
Most of us understand that looks fade over time. As we age, we have less time to care for our physical bodies, which form wrinkles and retain far more weight than they once did.
Women, particularly, have difficulty navigating weight gain, especially when they decide to bring children into this world.
Pregnancy Causes Weight Gain
Pregnancy wreaks havoc on a woman’s body. Most women gain weight as their bodies work overtime to create new life. It comes with a host of health conditions, and no woman knows how much each will affect her until she goes through it.
Husbands Should Offer Support
In a perfect world, husbands would offer nothing but love and support through such a trying time as pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum recovery (which can take up to a year or more).
Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world, and far too many men have outrageous expectations of their pregnant or postpartum wives.
He Demands She Remains Attractive
One woman came to the internet, wondering if her husband’s expectations were a red flag for their future.
The Original Poster (OP) said she’s eight months pregnant, and things were going well until her husband (the baby’s father) commented on his expectations.
She said she’s only put on 20 pounds during the pregnancy, but her husband still said he wants her to return to her pre-pregnancy weight as soon as possible. He also made other outrageous demands concerning her appearance immediately after giving birth.
“He commented I need to continue to put effort into my appearance by wearing nice clothes, have makeup on, eat a healthy diet, etc.,” she said, adding that he also expects her to bear the bulk of the responsibilities of parenthood.
She Thinks Its Insulting
OP said she thinks his comments were insulting and highlighted his ignorance about pregnancy and motherhood, but wasn’t sure if it was normal.
She came to the internet hoping to discover whether she was right to be insulted or his expectations were normal.
Reddit users gave OP a giant yikes.
“You have only gained 20 lbs. If he expects you to walk around with full makeup, dressed up, etc., after your body created a whole other person and keeping this helpless human alive after, he’s delusional,” said one user, astounded by the husband’s attitude.
“I think it’s super insensitive to be talking about losing weight while you are currently/actively pregnant. Motherhood hit me like a BUS and the last thing I would want to hear is anything about losing weight,” said another.
An Excuse To Cheat
Others cautioned that OP’s husband may be using her “unattractiveness” as a pre-emptive excuse to cheat.
He’s already telling her he doesn’t find her attractive, and if she can’t magically “be attractive” after carrying, birthing, and caring for a child, well, it’s not his fault if he strays.
“Sorry to even say, but he sounds like someone that would cheat on the mother of his child postpartum and blame her for it,” said one user.
He’s Way Out of Line
Users agreed that the husband is way out of line. He’s disrespectful, callous, and extremely ignorant about pregnancy and life in general.
“Breaking news to your husband – bodies change as we age. There is no going backward regardless of babies,” snarked one.
Some advised OP to educate her husband on the realities of childbirth, while others said he’s a lost cause and they would leave if their husbands behaved like this.
We hope OP takes the advice to heart and her husband realizes how far out of line he is.