My heart races, my stomach churns, and I start feeling that nervous tingling all throughout my body. You know what I’m talking about, right? That time that your boss tells you that you made a small typo on your latest report, or the fact that your numbers were off by 1% on your last statement (in an industry where data is fluid so precision, while great, isn’t always expected) sends horrible shock-waves throughout your body. I’m not the only one, am I? Does this make my anxiety a problem?
Is My Anxiety a Problem?
This is a question I ask myself almost every day. Is it normal to have a sense of dread before going to work everyday because you fear something might go wrong? Is it normal to hyperfixate on every small mistake that you made during the day, and stress out about it for the next six hours?
It’s not just work that causes my stress levels to explode- I also dread getting letters from my HOA. It’s always something else that needs to be dealt with, whether the stupid mailbox needs to be painted or the lawn is a quarter inch too high. My HOA is very strict about stupid things, and it sucks being in another state and having to deal with the issues that pop up. I got a letter from them just this week about “yard clippings not being properly disposed of” – like really guys, who cares? But they do, so of course I do.
And god forbid I see a cop on the road! I have never done anything illegal in my life – I barely even speed (ok, that’s a lie, I might speed a little). But seeing a freaking cop behind sends me into whirlwind of anxiety. I’m sure a lot of people feel the same way about this one though – I’m going to call this a cultural problem rather than calling my anxiety about it a problem.
Getting Medical Advice
Before I go any further with this – I want to write a medical disclaimer. I am not a doctor, and I’m not trying to self-diagnose. This post isn’t about the medical treatment of clinical anxiety, it’s about dealing with anxiety in day to day life. Some people may tell me to seek medical treatment, but honestly, I’ve been able to manage on my own so far, and it’s not something that I want to be medicated over.
If my anxiety got to the point where it affected my daily life- like I couldn’t go to work because of it, or I couldn’t leave my house- then I’d definitely seek treatment. I wouldn’t be questioning whether my anxiety is a problem or not if I was at that point. If you have anxiety and it’s affecting your daily life, then I encourage you to seek medical advice.
I wouldn’t describe my anxiety as crippling, and although it makes going to work miserable, I can still manage and go to work. There are also tons of things that I can do that don’t cause anxiety as well. Being home doesn’t stress me out, writing for my blog doesn’t stress me out, and being active on social media doesn’t stress me out. What that tells me is that my anxiety is more related to an unhealthy work culture than to a medical issue.
So…Back to my Anxiety
I know that most people get stressed out at work. They wouldn’t call it work if it wasn’t stupid and stressful. They wouldn’t have to pay people to go if it was fun. I think I go a little overboard with it sometimes though. I mean, who gets stressed out over tiny mistakes that can be easily addressed via e-mail? My boss doesn’t even care about those, hell – I doubt he even notices, but they haunt me.
And don’t even get me started on how awful it is when something goes wrong that does get the bosses attention. I was so affected by a boss yelling at me over something stupid that I wrote a whole blog post about that one incident alone. And it wasn’t even a big deal! He was over it ten minutes later (one of the best bosses I’ve ever had, but definitely the “fly off the handle type”). It took me days to get over it.
My current boss is way more laid back. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him get angry. But that doesn’t stop me from stressing out about every little thing than could possibly go wrong. I’m a ball of anxiety for eight hours a day while I’m at work. Sometimes it even bleeds into my time off because I know I have to go back to work. And yes, I know how unhealthy that is.
Coping with Anxiety
I’ve written about healthy ways to handle stress before, and those all have helped a lot. But those help when the stress is real. They don’t help with the anxiety that comes from making tiny problems into big problems or imagining the thousands of ways I can mess something up. The only thing that really helps me relax is remembering that it is all temporary. This job, the things that I’m doing now – they won’t matter in a few short years. I’m dealing with the anxiety now so I can opt out of it in the future. I’m sure I’ll find something else to stress about when I reach that point, but hopefully those things will at least be real.
Am I Alone in This?
It feels weird to wonder if my anxiety is a problem or not. I know lots of people would tell me to go to a doctor, but we all know how messed up healthcare in this country is. And also, should I really go to a doctor if it isn’t actually impacting my life much? Isn’t it normal to feel a fair amount of anxiety about work or life or whatever? These are questions I ask myself fairly regularly, and I’m curious: is it just me? Or do you ask yourself the same types of questions? I’d love it if you could let me know in the comments!
Melanie launched Partners in Fire in 2017 to document her quest for financial independence with a mix of finance, fun, and solving the world’s problems. She’s self educated in personal finance and passionate about fighting systematic problems that prevent others from achieving their own financial goals. She also loves travel, anthropology, gaming and her cats.
It’s good you have an understanding boss and writing about healthy ways to handle stress is a step I can relate to.
Thanks for posting it’s good to know sometimes we share similar problems.
Yeah, it’s good to know I’m not the only one. Thanks for reading!
I’m sure you aren’t alone but what you are describing doesn’t sound normal to me. Minor work concerns never phased me in the least. Maybe you’ve had a sheltered existence and haven’t really faced serious risk yet, I suppose my having had several encounters with near death and witnessing the actual sudden and violent death of people around me helps put insignificant workplace fears into perspective.
I wouldn’t say I’ve had a sheltered existence. I’ve never been around sudden violent death, but I was in the military, and I was deployed to Iraq, where we were bombed a few times. That was quite awhile ago, and I feel like my anxiety about work gets worth with age. Maybe it’s because I’m getting close to FI and stressing about what might go wrong!
I can definitely relate. I struggle with anxiety. In my case, my anxiety can lead me to be short, controlling, and can come across rude sometimes. In my case, it actually works well at my job, as my anxiety reaction is usually tempered there. But not so much at home.
There is no doubt I struggle with high-anxiety. I recently took a mental health evaluation, and am going to see a psychiatrist to see if medical options would help. I also started seeing a counselor.
For the longest time, I thought my high anxiety was just a part of who I am. But it really causes me to be reactive and live in fear, which does not bring out the best in me. I know with me, there are a lot of complex layers to my anxiety. I think some of them stemmed from internalizing childhood experiences.
It honestly might be worth getting a mental health evaluation done to see what comes out of that. I know for me, it has opened up my perspective how I look at my anxiety and options to work through it. In either case, know that you are not alone. 🙂
I feel like I use avoidance when I’m anxious. Instead of handling what I need to handle, I try to lose myself in Reddit or something equally unimportant. It helps me in the moment, but doesn’t take the cause of the stress away lol. Thanks for your input, maybe I’ll consider getting an evaluation.
I’d say that the anxiety IS really affecting your life if you’re stressed out for hours afterward and trepidatious so much of the time. Think about all of the energy you’re wasting on those feelings and how draining they are!
If someone were experiencing this level of symptoms of depression I’m guessing you’d tell them to seek help even if it weren’t crippling them from working, which is the metric you’ve employed for your own anxiety. I don’t see why this is any different.
I say this as someone who almost definitely needs to be on anti-anxiety medication myself (there one called… buspar I thibk? It’s a non-benzo) but first I have to find a psychiatrist that takes my insurance.
I’ve been on a bento briefly (it was for sleeping issues) and I have to say the difference of even a few waking moments of non-anxiety were a revelation. It felt like a curtain was being dropped on all of the buzzing worries in my head and they just went quiet. It was wonderful but obviously I didn’t want to be on benzos for a long period of time so I didn’t ask for a refill.
Anyway sorry for the length of this comment. Just food for thought and a small glimpse into what it was like to be rid of the anxiety even briefly. (Glorious, that’s what it was.)
My cousin just suggested that I go to an MD and get my cortisone and progesterone levels checked out. I think I would be more open to medication if I had chemical proof that I needed it. Thanks for your input, I really appreciate the perspective!
Hi, I just wanted to say that seeking treatment doesn’t always mean medication. Often cognitive behavioural therapy works just as well, sometimes even better. Sometimes people benefit from both. I totally understand the hesitation to take medication, but isn’t always part of the treatment.
Also, toxic work environments often involve a lot of gaslighting – making you think you’re the problem so no one has to deal with the real issues. I was in one a few years back and it took a heck of a lot of strength to keep believing that I didn’t deserve the bullying, or that I wasn’t actually inferior to my male colleagues.
A different job changed so much for me. Every job has stress and politics, but life is so different having a good team who has my back and makes me feel valued.
Best wishes.
Thank you for the kind words. I know medication isn’t the only way, but it did help me a lot. Anxiety is a tough one, because I look around at what I’m dealing with and thinking “isn’t it normal to feel this way?”. But still, it’s a problem, and I did decide to seek medication, which has helped immensely.