We can’t escape the endless litany of made-up words and phrases making up corporate lingo. Though all companies create their own dialects, many repeatedly use the same annoying terms but think they’re clever for “coming up with it.”
Here are the most annoying corporate buzzwords we’re all ready to retire.
Companies needed a new term to describe teamwork, apparently. But synergy is so much more! It’s when people work together as a team to develop innovative new ideas!
Though the term found fame in a book seeking to help women achieve corporate success, it’s morphed into a fresh new horror that pretends to follow the original definition but really means to do extra unpaid work and overtime.
How would we know you want to discuss something previously discussed if you didn’t say you wanted to “circle back” to it?
We don’t know how the ‘“wheelhouse” became corporate lingo for our area of expertise, but we wish it would stop. No, that’s not in my “wheelhouse,” Jan.
Most employees have discovered that when companies say they’re like a family, they don’t mean the partridges. They mean the toxic family that will drain you of all you are, then spit you out without a second thought.
30,000 Foot View
We get it; you want the big picture. Why can’t you just say that? Instead, we need to develop a slew of ridiculous corporate buzzwords describing the same thing.
Downsizing and layoffs sound so negative, so companies tried to enact some 1984 double speak to make it sound less evil. Enter “rightsizing,” the fancy new buzzword that still means you’re out of a job.
Companies trot out lunch-and-learns as fabulous development opportunities, but they’re really ways to force employees to work during their unpaid lunch break.
Good Luck in Your Future Endeavors
The “polite” way to tell someone to “get lost.” It means the same thing, so why bother hiding behind feigned politeness?
All the Racist Phrases
Corporations love appropriating Native American language into their buzzword portfolios. Meetings become “pow-wows,” people with crazy ideas are “off the reservation,” and new employees must work hard to climb the “totem pole.”
Why can’t we just say we’re analyzing a problem? Does it sound cooler somehow to call it a deep dive?
No, no, it does not.
Taking it to the Next Level
When a boss asks you to take something to the next level, they’re really saying they want you to do more, but they don’t want to pay you for it.
It Is What It Is
Saying something “is what it is” means we all know there is a problem, but no one will go through the effort to fix it.
It makes sense in places like the military, where the soldiers on the ground have no power to change course, but corporations who hijacked the term could probably make changes if they wanted to.
We really didn’t need a corporate buzzword for using the restroom.
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