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My boyfriend and I have decided to embark upon one of a relationships greatest journeys: moving in together. We had a long weekend apart when I went on my girls’ trip to Vancouver, and to make matters worse we couldn’t see each other for a few days after the trip due to our conflicting work schedules. That sucked! So, after a whole lot of adult conversations; we decided that it would be best if we moved in together.
Reasons to Move in Together
There are plenty of reasons why couples decide to move in together, ranging from the practical to the hopelessly romantic. Our main reason for moving in together is at the bottom, but I’m not going to lie, the money part is a huge bonus (In case you haven’t noticed; I kinda like saving money).
Money Money Money!
One of the main reasons couples decide to take the plunge and move in together is money. Maintaining two households is expensive! It’s not just rent either. There are two power bills, two internet bills, two water bills; not to mention the cost of gas to commute to each other’s places! Consolidating that all into one household saves everyone money! This savings is a huge bonus, especially in an economy with little job security (or for those perusing financial independence!).
Raise your hand if you moved in with a partner to get out of a shitty situation. I bet a lot of hands are raised! Whether it be controlling parents, a bad roommate, or an uncomfortable circumstance with an ex; moving in with someone else can be the quickest and easiest way to get out of a bad situation.
Fortunately, we didn’t have to take this into account in our decision to move in together; but I’ve been there before and I totally understand why people do it. If you are considering moving in with someone for this reason, I would caution you to be sure that you aren’t putting yourself in a similar (or worse!) situation.
Getting out of the Parents House
This is similar to moving because of bad living conditions; but sometimes kids want to get away from perfectly reasonable loving parents. I get it, you want your independence! I moved in with my first boyfriend because I wanted to get out of my dad’s house. He lived in the middle of nowhere and I had no car; so I couldn’t find a job. In hindsight, he probably would have let me use one of his cars if it was job related; but he kind of hated my boyfriend (and by kind of, I mean with a passion), so he wouldn’t let me use a car to go see him.
I really showed him! My boyfriend and I rented a place in the nearby city and he had a car that I could use to find work. We lasted about a year; and towards the end of that relationship I literally had to sneak out of the house to see my friends. I guess dad was right about that one!
Life sure can throw you a lot of curve balls. Maybe you got an amazing job opportunity on the other side of the country! You don’t want to do the long-distance thing, so you decide to move together. You are starting on a brand-new adventure together! Or maybe you are having a surprise bundle of joy; a totally different type of adventure! Consolidating households when a baby is on the might make it easier to transition to parenthood.
Unfortunately, not all of life’s curveballs are positive. Life can be a jerk sometimes. You may have lost your job and have no other options but to consolidate households. Or Perhaps you have to start caring for an aging parent. Life can throw us in many different directions; and sometimes moving in with a partner can make those transitions smoother.
Well, the lease is up. Should I sign a new one or no? Sometimes couples just fall into living together because a lease is up and seems silly to renew it. I like to think that when this happens, the couple is truly ready (see below!) and they were just waiting for the right time.
The Best Reason to Move in Together
If you decided to take the plunge and move in together for any of those other reasons, I get it. Life can be hard and it’s a tough economy out there. However, I think the best and most important reason to move in together is that you love each other and you see a future with each other. My boyfriend and I love each other, and we are both sure that this relationship is moving towards marriage. That’s why we decided to move in together. If we can make living together as easy as the rest of our relationship has been, we will know that getting married is the next step.
Melanie launched Partners in Fire in 2017 to document her quest for financial independence with a mix of finance, fun, and solving the world’s problems. She’s self educated in personal finance and passionate about fighting systematic problems that prevent others from achieving their own financial goals. She also loves travel, anthropology, gaming and her cats.