Best friends are magical. They see the best in us, offer us a helping hand when needed, and are always up to join us on our fantastic adventures.
However, even some of the best friendships end in heartbreak. People we believe to be friends sometimes showcase their true colors when times get hard, and occasionally friendships end for the silliest reasons.
How Friendships End
While enjoying my favorite community on Reddit, r/askreddit, I found a thread asking users to share their stories of lost friendships.
“What ended your friendship with a former best friend?” asked the original poster (OP).
The answers showcase the fallible nature of humanity and make us thankful we weren’t friends with some of these selfish folks.
Delivering Bad News
One user said their best friend no longer speaks to them because they were the bearer of bad news.
“His wife cheated on him. I was the bad guy for trying to let him know,” the user shared.
Others added that this situation is far too common. The affected party may not believe their friend, breaking the trust factor essential to any relationship. In other scenarios, the couple will work it out, but the friend who told will be labeled as a meddler and get cut off.
Begging for Money
Another user ditched a close friend after their weird behavior regarding money. They shared that their friend asked to borrow 3K, no questions asked.
Most people would lift an eyebrow at such a request, and the user did the same, refusing to give the money unless they knew what it was for. The friend didn’t want to say but kept badgering them about when the money was coming.
“Turns out they got scammed, but that ended our friendship really quickly,” stated the Redditor.
Never Paying Their Share
Sometimes friends don’t beg for money outright, but they constantly drain resources from their so-called “friends.” They’ll go to lunch but forget their wallet, agree to a road trip and never chip in for gas, or promise to pay something back but never deliver.
Choosing a Toxic Relationship
Maintaining close friendships through the ups and downs of typical dating and settling into a long-term partnership can be challenging, but most of us navigate it.
However, sometimes a close friend will ditch everyone they care about for a new relationship. People choose toxic partners over their friends again and again. It’s a tale as old as time.
“My former best friend also chose men, especially toxic men, over her friends and family’s relationships,” shared one Redditor.
“Mine chose a guy also,” added another. “I was in a relationship and still managed to have my own interests and activities. We could have had a plan for days to weeks, but if he was free – plan suddenly canceled, often last minute.”
People struggle to juggle a new relationship with existing friendships and often fail. However, friends shouldn’t be so harsh in judging. Remember that your friend may have fallen into an abusive relationship, and keep the lines of communication open in case they need help escaping.
Ghosting is supposed to be for one-time dates that didn’t go well, but some folks ghost people they’ve known forever.
One user shared that their former best friend stopped talking to them one day. “Didn’t respond to calls or texts, wasn’t home when I showed up, nothing,” they said.
Getting ghosted by a date is one thing, but getting ghosted by someone you’ve known and trusted is a special kind of heartbreak.
Their Bad Children
Long-time friends often share life experiences. They watch either get married and care for each other’s children.
Unfortunately, these new phases of life can bring out the worst in some people. One user shared that a great friendship ended after a vacation with each other’s kids turned awful.
“Her son was so disrespectful, swearing, nasty attitude, and so mean to my daughter the entire trip,” they explained. They continued, saying the little boy ripped a cereal box away from their younger daughter and slapped her when she cried.
“I tried disciplining him, and my friend blew up at me and proceeded to DEFEND her son, as she called my daughter a “whiny baby,” they said, sharing that they immediately left and never spoke to the friend again.
1000 Little Things
Often, it’s not just one thing that ends a friendship. It’s thousands of little things that, when added up, make us realize the person is not worth our time.
One user shared that a former friend often cut them out of activities or refused to do anything unless they got something in return.
After time, we wonder if the person really wants to be our friend or only hangs out with us out of convenience.
Some people never learned to play nice. They constantly put their friends down over their own insecurities, and eventually, the friends don’t want to take it anymore.
“I realized that all that “good-natured ribbing” over time was really more malicious than good-natured and that I was the outlet for his own insecurities,” shared one user.
“So much this. The ribbing was flat-out bullying, and I took it for too long,” replied another.
Friends should support each other and bring each other up. If a so-called friend is constantly mean, rude, or belittling, it’s okay to distance yourself.
You can’t be friends with folks who don’t show up. One Redditor said they ended a friendship because the person would constantly flake on plans without a word.
“He kept not showing up when we said we’d meet somewhere. No call, no text, nothing,” they said.
“My wife had a friend like that. Eventually, she (my wife) just started saying yes whenever the friend suggested getting together, knowing nothing would come of it,” added another.
Many of us simply stop inviting folks like this, and the friendship fades.
Destroying Stuff and Lying About It
Too many Redditors shared stories of so-called friends destroying their things and lying about them. One said a friend got a DUI while borrowing their car and proceeded to lie, while another said their friend broke into their home and destroyed it, only coming clean a year later.
These types of folks aren’t friends. They’re users; the sooner you realize that and cut them out of your life, the better.
Wrong Gendered Best Friends
Numerous Redditors expressed sadness at friendships that ended due to new relationships. The common theme was a male-female friendship and a jealous new partner.
This dynamic is difficult to navigate for many reasons. Sometimes the friendship really is too close, and the two behave like romantic partners more than friends. Other times, the new partner has insecurities and can’t handle such a close friendship.
Either way, it’s hurtful to the neglected friend, but there are things you can do to mitigate it. All too often, the “friend” expects things to be the same when in reality, all friendships change when partnerships develop. The friend needs to step back, respect the relationship, and ensure their friend always puts the partner first.
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