The Pandemic of Lonely Men Not Women’s Problem

Journalists nationwide are covering the hottest new pandemic that gets them clicks: the pandemic of lonely men. 

Major publications like Psychology Today, and BBC’s Science Focus have covered the problem, saying COVID destroyed men’s social lives in particular, and the endemic of loneliness in men causes them undo hardship and suffering. 

With the rise of loneliness came the rise of misogyny, with once-hidden corners of the internet becoming outlets for men to share their struggles in finding a mate. These communities become echo chambers, blaming women for men’s inability to connect or find a mate. If only women had lower standards, accepted men for what they were, and weren’t only interested in the top 10% of men, there wouldn’t be a problem. 

Men’s Loneliness Not Women’s Problem

Women are speaking out on the issue.  That men are lonely and can’t attract a mate is a men’s problem, not a women’s problem. 

Women came out in droves to support this idea in the popular Reddit community dedicated to women’s issues, R/twochromosomes. 

A user turned to Reddit to rant about the expectation that women should solve men’s loneliness. 

Recently read yet another post about the “epidemic of lonely men,” the original poster (OP) began before going into a rant about how the comments of that post focused on women as the problem. 

“That’s just men projecting their top desire for a romantic partner being attractive onto women. Men are never going to learn until they realize they aren’t competing with 6’5 chads who’ll just cheat because let’s face it, men are only as honest as their options,” she continued. 

Also Read: Financial Abuse is a More Common than you Think. Here’s How to Recognize it. 

Men Aren’t Competing With Other Men

Men fail to understand that they aren’t competing with other men. They are competing with the happiness and fulfillment a woman can provide herself. And they’re failing spectacularly. 

The OP continued to share exactly what men are up against, and it’s not some other dude. 

“Men are competing with a full and enjoyable life without the hassle of raising a man and his get. They are competing with never having to pick up after them and be expected to manage every holiday/birthday for a man and HIS side of the family. They’re competing with a free lifestyle, not catering to the whims of everyone else. They’re competing with freedom to buy everything they need/own a home/have financial security without being expected to regularly put out as a condition of continuing some relationship.”

Women No Longer Need Men

With advances in women’s rights, women gained the ability to take care of themselves. They no longer need to rely on men for financial security or a place to live. We can give that to ourselves. 

Unfortunately, it’s only been true for the past two generations. Even many of our mothers couldn’t get a line of credit without a man’s signature. Women were fired for getting pregnant, passed up for promotions because “a man needs the job,” and thought of as lesser in the workforce. 

Even now, women still face discrimination at work, but things are slowly improving, and women finally have the opportunity to take care of themselves. 

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Some Men Want to Push Women Back

Rather than rise to the challenge and become equal partners that would enhance a woman’s life, men are attempting to push women back. 

One severe backlash we’re already seeing is the rise in pro-life legislation across the country. Women who can’t control their own reproduction are more likely to need male assistance, become trapped in unhealthy relationships, or face poverty. It’s far harder to leave a terrible relationship when kids are involved, and men know this. They want women to be trapped with them. 

Other communities take it even further, advocating for stripping women of the right to vote, own property or exist without men. 

To Alleviate Male Loneliness, Men Need to Improve

The one thing these male communities refuse to consider is self-improvement. 

“They put the blame on “chads” because then it’s a genetic lottery, and they are absolved of the responsibility of becoming someone women would want to be with,” shared one commenter on the thread. 

Another said, “It’s so weird to me to have that little motivation to improve oneself in any way.”

Men think they can continue to be lazy, incompetent users while attracting a desirable partner. They believe women should flock to them solely based on the fact that they’re a man. 

The entitled attitude turns women off even more. Women want an equal partner. They want someone who will contribute to the household, parent their own children, share expenses, and handle their own health and wellness. 

Women no longer want to manage the household, juggle childcare, and complete all the domestic duties while also bringing in the paycheck.

Women have looked at the options and realized being single is far better than being attached to a man they must also take care of. 

Men must step up and contribute if they want to attract a mate. They must enhance a woman’s life rather than make it more difficult. 

Men, are you up to that challenge?

This post was inspired by the rant about men’s loneliness on the TwoXChromosomes Subreddit.