We often don’t realize how bad our situations are until others point it out. When you’re in the thick of things, just trying to survive, you often don’t see how dire you’re situation has truly become.
One woman learned just how much her husband has been taking advantage when she came to the Internet to resolve a fight over parenting.
He Treats the Kids Differently
The Original Poster (OP) wanted advice because her husband of four years holds her kids to a different standard than his kids.
She has two children from a previous partnership, and he has one. OP only discusses the comparison between her 13-year-old daughter and his 14-year-old son.
He holds the daughter to much higher standards. According to OP, he constantly complains about the girl’s laundry, which she keeps in a basket, yet says nothing about his son’s clothes strewn across the floor. He calls her out for playing on her phone yet lets his son play video games all night. While OP grounds her kids when they don’t do their chores, the husband never disciplines his son, yet he’s the first to complain when OP’s kids don’t do their chores.
He’s a Stay at Home Dad
OP explained that her husband stays home while she works 40 hours per week. When she gets home, she has to do the dishes and laundry. She folds her own clothes but refuses to fold her husband’s clothes, so they sit in a basket on the floor, just like the daughter he berates.
OP Has Enough
OP is tired of the unfair way her husband treats her kids. He tells her to stop babying her own children, while he refuses to parent his kid at all.
She finally told him he needed to stop saying anything to her kids until he could impose the same standards on both his son and himself.
Of course, her statement created an argument, so she came to the internet wondering if she was wrong.
He’s a User
Community users pointed OP to the harsh truth: this man is using her. She never states the age of her second child, but if they are old enough to have a daily chore list and get grounded for not completing it, they’re probably old enough to mostly take care of themselves.
OP also does a lot of housework after work, so what is he doing?
“I find it repulsive that he’s a sahp, and yet she’s continually doing so much housework. The kids are old. Put away your clothes, her clothes, and do the damn dishes,” said one user.
“Her husband sure has it made, doesn’t he?” asked another. “He stays home all day doing practically nothing. She has to come home and do laundry and chores. He’s an anchor around her neck. She’d be way better off without him.”
She’s Doing a Disservice To Her Kids
OP was 100% right to point out that he’s mistreating her kids, but many users blamed OP for letting it go on for so long.
“So he spoils his kid, he grinds your kids down, he doesn’t pull his weight, and he yells at you,” stated one user. “Sounds like he wants three little housekeepers for him and his son, not just one.”
“For the sake of you and your kids, don’t stay with him any longer. He’s clearly a mooching freeloader and definitely not gonna get better,” added another.
Many users couldn’t help but notice the difference in standards between the boys and the girls. The husband seems to think women exist to cater to men, and he’s teaching this lesson to OP’s daughter and his son.
“It sound[s] like a BIG part of this might be that in his world, adult women are there to be responsible, money-earning bang-maids (and girls are in training for such a future) and men are there to live it up with the life of Riley (with boys in training for such a future),” shared one user.
OP Should Leave
Most users agreed that OP needs to do right by her kids and escape this toxic situation. All three of them deserve better.
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