Break-ups are messy. Usually, at least one party is hurt and betrayed; feelings made even more complex when the other seems to move on like it’s nothing.
One woman, the half that admittedly harbors resentful feelings, came to the internet to find out if she was wrong after refusing to babysit her ex-husband’s newborn baby.
The Divorce Still Fresh
The Original Poster (OP) said her and her ex divorced six months ago, and he’s already expecting a new baby with his girlfriend (who is five months pregnant).
“I’m admittedly not over him,” she shared, adding, “It was and is a messy split. I’m still bitter and hurt about it, and he seems to have completely moved on somehow.”
OP and her ex share two children, ages four and two. When the oldest was born, the couple mutually decided she would quit her job and stay home to care for the little one, as neither was comfortable with daycare.
OP made the best of her stay-at-home motherhood, starting an online business to help pay the bills that she parlayed into a full-time income.
She works remotely, and her parents, who live nearby, often help her with the two kids.
Ex Doesn’t Want New Baby in Daycare
OP has a pretty sweet situation she built for herself, and her ex-husband also wants to use it for his benefit. He refused to tour daycares with his new girlfriend, insisting that she stay home to raise the child as OP did.
The girlfriend, a nurse, doesn’t have the option to work from home and doesn’t want to give up her career. A huge fight ensued, but the ex developed a brilliant solution: OP should watch the baby.
“He asked if I would be willing to take care of their baby since I’m home with our two and get help from my parents, and when I have to take the kids to the office, I can because I own it,” she shared.
OP Obviously Says No
Like any normal human, OP scoffed at the idea and unleashed all the pent-up anger from the divorce.
“I sort of lost it on him. It was a year and a half of walled-up anger and hurt, and I said some nasty things that I’ve since apologized for,” she admitted.
Everyone Harrasses Her
But it doesn’t end there. Both the ex and his new girlfriend feel entitled to OP’s labor for their baby.
OP reported that the “new girlfriend pulled me to the side when I dropped off my kids to their house and asked why I was so ugly about it and why I thought my kids were better than hers, and why her baby doesn’t deserve the same things mine got.”
She was graceful enough to apologize if she implied that her kids were better but said she would absolutely not babysit their child.
The ex asked again, even offering $200 a week (a meager amount for full-time childcare), and when OP refused, he called her bitter and said she’s only saying no because she’s hurt.
That’s not all, though, the girlfriend has been texting non-stop, and her friends are review-bombing OP’s business.
Is OP Wrong?
The guilt and harassment are getting to OP. She says she has the time to watch the kid but simply doesn’t want to and wonders if that makes her a jerk.
Reddit users flocked to her defense, saying the Ex and his girlfriend are awful, entitled people, and OP has no obligation to help them in any way.
“You are never obligated to take care of someone else’s child,” stated one user.
Attacking the Business is a Real Low
Others pointed out that attacking OP’s business in retaliation makes them even worse and could even be illegal.
“You should consult a lawyer about the review bombing. Sue them,” advised one.
Ex Is an Awful Person
One thing everyone can agree on is that the ex is an awful person. Many users tried to highlight the worst of his behaviors to help OP get over this trash human she was married to.
“Honestly, they audacity that your husband would ask something of that from you, thinking that after 10 years of marriage, he could just like think it was okay to dump someone else’s child upon you for care,” said one.
“You’ve been divorced 6 months, and she’s 5 months pregnant…” observed one, implying that cheating was likely involved before the divorce was final.
Others pointed out the ex’s misogyny in getting women pregnant, forcing them to stay home, lying, cheating, and feeling entitled to other people’s time.
He’s all-around awful, and we hope OP can get over the image of him she had in her head.