High school love burns brightly but often fades as we age. We remember our earliest relationships fondly but usually understand that it’s best we parted ways.
One man, however, can’t let go and is throwing a fit because his high school sweetheart ended up with his older brother.
Brother Engaged to High School Sweetheart
The Original Poster (OP) came to Reddit wondering what to do about his brother’s pending nuptials.
He explained that his brother (Nick, 31) is about to marry his (28) old high school sweetheart (Val). Nick wanted him to stand up at the wedding, but OP refused and won’t attend.
“I told him he’s marrying my HS sweetheart, and there’s no way I can stand at the altar and watch him marry her,” said OP.
But the Relationship Was 10 Years Ago
OP admitted that his relationship with Val didn’t last past high school and that he was the one who ended it.
“I found we were incompatible around the time I turned 18,” he shared, adding that Val was heartbroken over the breakup. “Val was understandably upset. I told her she needed to let go, and it took her a year to move on.”
OP Wants to Rekindle, Val Declines
Later in life, OP’s path crossed with Val’s once more, and as they rekindled their friendship, he wanted more. Val, however, had moved on and no longer harbored any feelings for OP.
OP said that about five years after high school, they lived three blocks away from each other and worked in the same neighborhood.
“I took this as a sign that we were going to get back together, but Val unfortunately told me that she no longer has the feelings that she did when we were in HS and that it’s best to stay friends as we were,” he stated.
OP Moves, Brother Meets Val
Eventually, OP moved a few states away and didn’t give Val much thought. One day, his older brother called to ask about his history with Val.
They were both in bad spots, had found each other, and wanted to find solace in each other’s arms. However, Nick didn’t want to do anything without speaking to OP first.
OP Gives Blessing
OP gave his blessing, thinking the relationship would crash and burn.
“I said I didn’t care given the circumstances, and it probably wouldn’t last because they didn’t have genuine feelings for each other,” explained OP.
But Now They’re Engaged
A few years after the fateful phone call, Val and Nick announced their engagement, and OP can’t handle it.
Nick was shocked, saying he asked permission first and doesn’t understand why OP suddenly has a problem.
“It doesn’t make sense that she chose him over me,” whined OP, adding that Nick said, “Maybe I should’ve realized what I had before calling a quits with Val.”
Everyone Against OP
OP’s family and Val all reached out, trying to talk sense into him. His relationship with Val was ten years ago, and it was just puppy love.
“She (Val) later messaged me saying that we were literal kids when we dated, and I needed to let it go, and it’s weird that now I’m suddenly not okay with them together when it’s been years since it first started,” said OP.
Although most of his family is on the brother’s side, his two younger brothers think Nick should respect the “bro code.”
OP is at a loss, posting in the popular relationship subreddit for advice on what to do.
“Should I just keep silent and let it happen?” asked OP.
What Else Would You Do?
Users were shocked that OP thought he had a choice, joking that he watched too many romance shows if he thought the wedding would go any other way.
“As opposed to what?!?” asked one incredulous user.
“Stealing the bride from the ceremony at a critical moment and ending on a blissfully happy dance number where OP’s brother gets easily fobbed off on a secondary female character consolation prize in a five-second shot like it’s some kind of Bollywood movie,” joked another in response.
He Gave His Blessing
Many users latched on to the blessing. Even if OP wanted to abide by the “bro code,” Nick clearly did by asking in advance.
“Bro code is not making an advance towards girlfriend/ex’es unless asking permission beforehand,” stated one user. “Permission was asked and given,” they added.
OP Should Grow Up
Others said OP needs some maturity.
“Sounds like you never progressed beyond age 17,” observed one user. “You learned a valuable lesson about being honest. Regardless you are romanticizing some silly childhood relationship,” they added.
“This is someone you dated for what, a year? Over a decade ago?” asked another, baffled at OP’s high school angst.
Let it Go
OP needs to let it go. He hasn’t known Val for years. They broke up ten years ago. Nick did the right thing in asking for permission.
Although OP’s allowed to have complicated feelings about the relationship, he shouldn’t take them out on Nick and Val. If he’s struggling to get over a high school relationship ten years past its expiration date, he should seek therapy.