Trust is essential to any relationship. You must trust your partner to have your best interests at heart, to handle their half of the workload, and to pay the things they say they’re going to pay.
One woman lost trust in her boyfriend after his bad decisions thrust her into a financial whirlwind she still hasn’t broken free from.
They Get Reduced Rent From His Job
The Original Poster shared that he works for a property management company, and as part of his compensation package, he can live at the property for below-market rates.
It’s been about a year, and he constantly complained about his job. He claimed it was stressful, and he was overworked.
OP thought his complaints were fair and advised him to start looking for another job if he hates the one he has so much.
He Quits and Lies About It
One day, he came home early from his shift. When OP asked what happened, he said he used his accrued time off to come home early. He didn’t go to work for the next two days, claiming he needed some time off.
Over the weekend, he let it slip that he actually quit the job. He said he didn’t tell her immediately because he needed “time to process.”
Must Vacate
The boyfriend’s contract stated they must move out within four weeks if he no longer has a job. They have even less time to find a new living situation because he quit without notice and waited three days to tell her.
OP went to work applying for new places. That’s when she discovered even more lies.
Bad Rental History
Their application for a new apartment was rejected due to “poor rental history.” Confused, OP dug into it and discovered that her boyfriend hadn’t paid the discounted rent at their apartment and had recently received an eviction notice.
He never told her about either of these things, though he did collect her half of the money for the rent. OP paid off the balance to clean up the record, but the pending eviction was still on his record, meaning he couldn’t be on any new applications. She had to find a place she qualified for with her income alone.
Two Months Later
Fortunately, OP’s dad helped her find an apartment by cosigning, and they moved in. However, the boyfriend hasn’t stepped up.
He’s still unemployed, and she’s covering all the expenses. He uses her car to drive for Uber but only makes enough to cover his student loans. He owes her thousands of dollars, including thousands from shared expenses he was catching up on before he quit.
Whenever she tries to bring up what happened or his continual unemployment, he gets defensive and says she doesn’t understand. She feels he was wrong to lie about the rent and to make a significant life-altering decision without discussing it with her first.
OP is also struggling with trust, as the constant lies about money broke her trust, and she’s unsure what it would take to make things right. She came to the internet looking for advice.
He Needs To Go
The internet agreed OP needs to break up with her boyfriend. “He is a mooch,” said one user. “His career plan is for you to pay all his bills while he lies to you.”
“This isn’t a how do we fix this situation. This is a let me figure out how quickly I can get him out of here situation!” exclaimed another.
Many were shocked that she even let him move in with her after the stunt he pulled.
“OP’s clean getaway was when he got evicted from the last spot,” said one.
“He did all this shady crap ….AND YOU LET HIM MOVE INTO THE NEW PLACE?????” exclaimed another.
Sunk Cost
Some said it sounds like OP is wrapped up in the sunk cost fallacy. He owes her a ton of money, and she knows she will never see it if she kicks him out.
The harsh truth is she won’t ever see any of it anyway. The longer she stays with him, the more money will fall into the pit, and the harder it will be for her to escape.
“You aren’t going to be paid back. He is going to continue to lie to you. He stole the money you gave him for rent and neglected to pay the rent. Cut your losses and move on before his behavior causes [you] to have issues on your records,” advised one user.
He Will Not Get Better
OP, this man is in his thirties. He will not get better. There is no salvaging this.
“He will just keep letting you bail him out, and living above your means supporting him. That tally of what he owes will keep growing because he feels entitled to burden you if it is for his benefit,” predicted one user who’s been in OP’s shoes.
“Know that in a crisis he will sink your shared ship, without even giving you the courtesy of a heads up. Then he will lie about it for as long as he can manage to get away with it,” said another.
Tell Him To Leave
OP, you need to ask this user to leave now. Stop supporting him. Stop letting him live the easy life off your labor. You can do better.
Source: Reddit