A lot of relationship struggles come with nuance. Relationships don’t work out, but there’s plenty of blame to go around.
However, one man is so utterly and completely awful that we can’t even pretend he has an out. No “cultural standards” or “that’s how he was raised” can save this dufus from the harsh reality that he’s an awful human being.
A 25-Year Relationship
The Original Poster (OP) came to Reddit wondering if he was wrong for ending a 25-year relationship. He’s 57, and his ex just turned 55. They were never married.
Usually, the length of a relationship doesn’t matter, and if you don’t want to be with someone anymore, you shouldn’t be.
But this man’s story and reasons for ending the relationship make him horrible.
She Wanted Kids
OP shared that his ex always wanted kids. However, it was never the right time for him. He was growing a business, and in the early stages, they both needed to sell plasma to keep things afloat.
The couple went to therapy to work out the disagreement about having kids, and she finally decided she’d rather be with him than have children. She sacrificed this major life milestone for him.
She Enters Menopause
Now, after 25 years together, OP’s began the long and tumultuous journey of menopause, the medical change that prevents older women from having children.
She’s no longer able to have children.
He Wants Kids
Upon hearing that she cannot bear children, OP had an epiphany. He does want children, after all!
Unswayed by the fact that his long-term partner couldn’t have them, OP decided to break up with her to find another woman capable of bearing his children.
Heartbroken and Angry Ex
The ex was clearly heartbroken but said they could adopt children so they could both enjoy parenthood. That option wasn’t good enough for OP, who, after 57 years, finally decided he wanted biological children.
OP was baffled at her behavior.
“She tried to shame me by saying this was me having a midlife crisis and that I’ve used up her time and owe her,” he said, completely oblivious to why she’d be upset.
Living in His Vacation House
He said he let his ex stay in his vacation home for a month, but then she’d be on her own. He thinks that’s more than fair after two decades together.
Why Can’t He Change His Mind?
OP came to Reddit, seeking validation for his actions. He can’t believe his ex is so upset and feels like he’s entitled to change his mind.
The Biggest Jerk We’ve Ever Seen
Reddit was appalled at OP” ‘s behavior and nonchalant disposal of someone who’s been a life partner for 25 years and who sacrificed her wants for him.
“You strung your girlfriend along for DECADES until her fertile years passed…now you dump her because you want kids??” asked one user. “YTA of gigantic proportions, and I am mad at you on her behalf,” they added.
“I am so devastated for his girlfriend,” said another. “She wanted children and didn’t have them because of him, and now he wants to leave her to have children with someone else.”
Hope She Sues
OP never married his ex and claims all the property as his own despite acknowledging that she helped him during the building phase of his business.
It sounds like he plans to leave her high and dry, refusing to compensate her for her work while they struggled.
We hope she sues. We hope she has records indicating how much she put into the business as well, and even though we hate the concept of “palimony,” we think it’s justified in this case. She should get half of what she helped build.
Obvious Mid-Life Crisis
OP’s obviously experiencing a mid-life crisis. His girlfriend’s journey into menopause forced him to confront his own age and mortality, and he doesn’t want to do it. Instead, he decided to trade her in for a younger model so he doesn’t have to think about it.
He’s a terrible person who’s handling aging very poorly, and we hope he ends up childless and alone.