People love to judge others. We often can’t help but form instant judgments about people’s choices and behaviors, but it’s far more insidious when the judgment comes from inside the house.
One woman came to Reddit seeking help after her husband claimed she was “too old” to enjoy girls’ night outs.
Once Every Few Weeks
The Original Poster (OP) said she’s 33 and goes out with her girlfriends every 4-6 weeks. They typically go to a concert or go out dancing, but she’s home between 11 pm and 1 am.
While out, the friends post photos to social media highlighting the venue or getting a great shot of them doing a fun “cheers” photo.
He Parents While She Goes Out
OP shares a three-year-old child with her husband. When she enjoys a night out, he typically cares for their kid, but sometimes, her mom babysits instead.
OP insisted that it’s only because her mom wants to babysit and that she pays her mom to do this out of her “fun money.”
Husband Enjoys Game Nights
It’s not as though the husband doesn’t get free time. He enjoys a game night 1-2 per week with his friends. Presumably, OP takes care of parenting twice weekly while the husband games.
He Says She’s Too Old to Go Out
Although it seems like they have a decent system that allows both free time to enjoy their own interest, OP’s husband decided to nitpick his wife’s chosen activity.
He “expressed concern” about her outings, claiming the social media posts may hurt her professionally and that his parents have commented about her outings.
“He said he thinks it’s weird at my age to go out like I do,” shared OP.
Is He Right?
The comments concerned OP, so she came to Reddit wondering if her husband was on to something. The remark about professionalism really got under her skin, and she’s now worried about negative perceptions at the workplace.
Husband Way Off Base
Redditors flocked to OP’s defense, saying that at 33, the only thing she’s too old for is having others tell her what to do.
One user said they’re 60 and they’d love to go to clubs every night if their health allowed.
People Enjoy Different Things
OP isn’t doing anything inappropriate or illegal, so shouldn’t worry about public perception. People enjoy different things, so if she enjoys concerts and dancing, nothing should prevent her from enjoying that.
Her husband also enjoys “childish” activities, and no one bats an eye.
Is this a Parent Thing or a Kid Thing?
Many users thought the husband was grasping at straws to control OP for more insidious reasons. They believe that either his parents are whispering things in his ear or he doesn’t want to parent his child on the nights OP goes out.
A few of OP’s comments implied both of these possibilities. Her husband specifically said his parents commented, but she doesn’t go into detail about what they said or how often they mention it.
She also over-explained her mother’s babysitting, doing everything possible to make it sound like the mom WANTED to do it and didn’t HAVE to do it because her husband couldn’t be bothered to watch the kid.
“He’s making up an excuse for you to stay home so he doesn’t have to watch the kids,” guessed one user.
Others pointed out that it could be deeply rooted sexism. He’s allowed to enjoy his hobbies, but a mother should never go out and leave her baby behind.
“The double standard here is so blatant. Why does hubby get two nights a week to unwind and do his thing, but she can’t even have once a month or once every six weeks? It’s controlling,” said one user.
OP, Enjoy Your Time!
OP should enjoy her nights out and ignore anyone who tries to make her feel bad about it. If the husband wants to push the issue, she can try matching his nights off and going out twice weekly. He probably wouldn’t like that, and she’d see the root of the problem is that he doesn’t want her to go out at all.
Everyone, even mothers, deserves a break and time to do what they enjoy. So keep on dancing, OP, and enjoy your life!
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