When you’re married with kids, arguments are inevitable. Raising a family is stressful, and so much goes into childcare that you never even imagined.
Unfortunately, women bear the brunt of the workload, while many men pretend not to know any better to escape the burdens of raising their own children.
He Thinks He’s Right
One man went to the internet to vent his frustration at his wife for not giving him step-by-step instructions for feeding his own kids.
The post was quickly removed from the popular Reddit community where people get to ask if they’re in the wrong, but we’ve recorded the gist of it and some of the top reactions.
Busy Wife Asks for Help
The original poster (OP) came to Reddit to prove himself right. While getting the kids ready for the day, his stressed-out wife asked for help. She asked him to grab the crackers for their lunches.
“What crackers?” he asked because how on Earth should a father know which crackers to feed his own children?
“Just grab any!” the exasperated wife replied, struggling to get the kids ready and not having time to baby her husband.
The OP glanced into the cabinet and grabbed the first thing he saw: animal crackers.
Are Animal Crackers Cookies or Crackers?
Anyone who’s ever eaten animal crackers know that despite their name, they’re a sweet treat generally served as a dessert. So when the wife saw this obviously wrong choice, she got upset and asked why he grabbed cookies instead of crackers.
He Refuses To Admit He’s Wrong
The OP doubled down. It says crackers right on the box, and she didn’t specify, so how could he know she didn’t mean animal crackers?
He was so sure in his righteousness and technical correctness that he came to the internet to state his case and was subsequently destroyed in a blaze of glory.
OP Needs to Help With His Kids
The top comment clearly stated what we’re all thinking. “She’s probably annoyed because she packs the lunches every day, and you clearly don’t offer to help or even know what goes in your kids’ lunches,” they said, receiving over 30,000 upvotes and numerous awards.
“And I see this all the time with friends and family,” shared another. “They’re getting ready to go somewhere. All dad has to do is put his shoes on. Mom has to get herself, the kids, the kids’ baby/diaper bag, the food/cooler for the kids ready. And dad is rushing her. Like?? Okay, then help her out,” they said.
Other users pointed out that the OP displayed a classic case of weaponized incompetence.
“Weaponized incompetence,” said one. “He’s playing stupid, so he doesn’t get asked to do it again.”
Weaponized incompetence is a common problem in relationships. One partner purposefully messes up a task, forcing the other to fix it. Usually, the fixing party has to take even more time to clean up the mess and decides it’s not even worth it to ask again.
Unfortunately, that was the goal all along, and the first partner gets to skate by doing nothing on their partner’s back.
He’s Just a Jerk
Others said it wasn’t even weaponized incompetence; it was worse.
“I wouldn’t even call this weaponized incompetence,” replied one user. “This is just plain laziness and immaturity. He knows full well that his wife wanted salted crackers, yet he insists on acting like a child to needle her. And I bet he never packs the children’s lunches.”
“I have literally never packed a child’s lunch ever, and I’m just like blown away by the fact an adult with a child claims he can’t possibly figure out which crackers go in a kid’s lunchbox,” said another.
Men Need to Step Up
Although many relationships have achieved balance and many men are stepping up to the plate to become equal partners, there’s still a lot of work to be done.
The OP didn’t state a gender, but everyone on the thread automatically assumed they were a man.
“HahHa oh my gawd, are you a guy? You’ve got to be a guy.” exclaimed one.
Domestic Labor Disparities
Some men still see domestic labor as “women’s work” and refuse to take an equal share in household labor. When they do complete a task, they view it as “helping” rather than doing their part to keep a house running.
“Ugh, it annoys me when my Husband offers to “help.” shared one user. “All the work at our house isn’t mine by default. He lives there. He can see if things need to be done. I shouldn’t have to manage him.”
“Please help your wife, and by help, I do NOT mean request a to-do list from her,” stated another. “She’s not your mom or your boss. You’re a grown adult and should be an active participant in your home without needing to be asked or instructed.”
Technically Correct but Still a Jerk
Even if the OP of the thread was technically correct because animal crackers are called crackers, the internet agreed he was in the wrong. He either did it on purpose, which was a jerk move, or honestly didn’t know, which makes him a poor partner.
Warning Signs it’s Weaponized Incompetence
Not sure if you’re partner is truly dumb or just pretending to be dumb to escape work? Here are some warning signs that it’s weaponized incompetence.
Is Your Relationship Toxic?
Love isn’t Enough
People always say love is enough and that there’s someone out there who will love you for who you are. Find out why that’s not true.
More from Partners in Fire – Ditch the Life Script
You don’t have to get married and have kids to be happy. The life script isn’t for everyone. Here’s why you should ditch it and do your own thing.
Lasting Friendships Help Navigate Bad Relationships
Sometimes friendships end because we don’t nurture them. Avoid that by doing new and interesting things with your posse!
Here are 101 fun things to do with your friends.
The Partners in Fire editorial and staff writing teams join forces to bring you the latest and greatest trending topics in snackable bites.
The team covers entertainment, wellness, current affairs, social issues, and other topics in easily digestible pieces, allowing readers to sample juicy tidbits without deep diving into the nuance of each topic.
Grab your popcorn and get ready to snack!