They Had a Date Planned. He Brings a Friend and Demands She Cook for Him

Sometimes relationship boundaries clash with the desire to be a good host. We don’t want to be rude to guests, but we also can’t have our partners walking all over us with outlandish expectations. 

One woman came to Reddit seeking validation for her refusal to be a good host for her partner’s friend. 

Dinner Date

Couple working together to cook and clean the kitchen.
Photo Credit: gonzagon via Shutterstock.com.

The Original Poster (OP) said she was expecting her boyfriend over for dinner around 8 pm, and they are both in their early twenties. 

He didn’t show up. 

He Finally Arrives

male friends smiling and hugging.
Photo Credit: Dean Drobot via Shutterstock.com.

An hour later, he arrived, friend in tow, informing OP that he invited the friend to come home and eat with them. 

OP took her boyfriend aside so as not to argue in front of their guest. 

I asked him why he was late and what was his friend doing here. He said that on his way home, he ran into the friend, they went to get drinks, and when he saw the time, he invited him to eat with us,” she explained. 

Boyfriend Wants OP To Make More Food

man shrugging wearing a blue sweater on a light purple background.
Photo Credit: Krakenimages.com via Shutterstock.com.

The OP didn’t understand her boyfriend’s reasoning. 

“I asked why he didn’t warned me before allowing him to come eat with us. He answered he didn’t think it’d bother me,” she said, telling her boyfriend that she didn’t make enough food for three people. 

The boyfriend brushed off her concerns – it wouldn’t be a problem. She could just make more food!

“When I told him that I didn’t cooked enough for three, he said that it wasn’t too late for me to cook more for his friend,” she shared, highlighting the unreasonable expectations her boyfriend had. 

OP Refuses To Cook

Woman crossing her arms in a refusal gesture.
Photo Credit: Roman Samborskyi via Shutterstock.com.

It was already nearly 9:30, and OP had an early morning, so she said she wouldn’t cook. 

“I refused and said no, it is too late for me to cook more for your friend because it’s already close to 9:30 pm, and I have to wake up early for work tomorrow.”

Befuddled Boyfriend Doesn’t Know What To Do

Man tilting his head and making a confused face.
Photo Credit: Krakenimages.com via Shutterstock.com.

Showcasing his uselessness, the boyfriend was at a loss. 

“He asked what was his friend supposed to eat then,” said OP, who was nice enough to hold his hand through the options.  “I replied that he could either cook for his friend or give him my plate and then went to bed after saying a quick goodbye to his friend.”

Shortly after, OP heard the door open and close, indicating the unexpected guest had left. 

Boyfriend Says OP is Rude

An annoyed woman making a rude expression pointing at herself as if to say "what, me?"
Photo Credit: pathdoc via Shutterstock.com.

The boyfriend’s bewilderment that the woman of the house wouldn’t cook for him and a friend on demand shifted to anger. 

Upon waking up, she found a barrage of texts from her boyfriend claiming she was rude and made his friend feel unwelcome. 

“When I woke up, I’d received a couple of texts from my boyfriend saying that my behavior yesterday was very rude, that his friend had felt unwelcome, and me being mad at him wasn’t an excuse for the way I had treated his friend,” she said. 

The texts had OP questioning her actions. 

Was she rude to the guest? Should she have sucked it up and cooked for them?

“Now I feel guilty because I didn’t want to make his friend feel unwelcome,” she admitted. 

OP is Not Rude, but the Boyfriend Sure Is

Angry upset woman with her hands up in aggrivation.
Photo Credit: Mix and Match Studio via Shutterstock.com.

Reddit ruled that OP was not the rude one in the situation. 

“Bringing someone over unexpectedly at this hour isn’t a minor inconvenience,” stated one user, highlighting how rude the boyfriend’s behavior is. 

He’s Thoughtless

Man with glasses looking straight ahead as if he's confused about what's happening in front of him.
Photo Credit: Cast Of Thousands via Shutterstock.com.

“This is a thoughtless BF issue, not an issue with his friend or you,” said another. 

“So he brought someone to YOUR house, no notice, and demanded you cook for them?” asked one, shocked at the audacity.  “Absolutely not! This behavior shows he has zero respect for you!” they exclaimed. 

Throw the Whole Man Away

woman throwing away a pair of glasses
Photo Credit: Jasen Wright via Shutterstock.com.

Many users told OP that her boyfriend is a disrespectful boundary stomper, manipulating her to see what more he can get away with. 

“Right now, the boyfriend is working on making OP feeling guilty enough so he can stomp any boundaries that OP may feel necessary to build a life together. He sees OP as less than a person, more like a object he can use to make his friends happy,” said one user. 

“Your boyfriend is an insensitive entitled jerk, you are not his personal Cook,” stated another.  “Don’t feel guilty. And don’t let him manipulate you,” they added. 

Is the Relationship Doomed?

Woman with her hand on her chin looking up lost in thought who looks like she's wondering something.
Photo Credit: Masson via Shutterstock.com.

Hopefully, Reddit’s comments will open OP’s eyes to the awful treatment by her boyfriend. If this was a one-time thing, the relationship is still salvageable if he’s willing to admit he was wrong and change, but if it’s a common occurrence, OP should run for the hills. 

He Makes 3X Her Salary and Expects Her To Pay Half

rich man smiling
Photo Credit: Ground Picture via Shutterstock.com.

Who pays what is a point of contention in many relationships. One man came to Reddit to see if he was wrong for expecting his girlfriend to split the bills equally when he makes three times her salary. 

Find out what happened here!

When Men Lie About Politics To Get Dates

woman on a date facing camera with an expression of disdain about her date
Photo Credit: CREATISTA via Shutterstock

Online dating is a cesspool, and now women have to navigate yet another insidious scheme: wokefishing. Find out why men lie about politics and why women refuse to date them

Learn the Signs of Financial Abuse

profile of sad woman on couch looking away from camera
Photo Credit: fizkes via Shutterstock.com.

Financial abuse is all too common, but often kept quiet because people don’t understand it’s impacts. Learn the signs of financial abuse to protect your loved ones

You Don’t Need a Relationship for Happiness

happy carefree woman in a field
Photo Credit: Maria Markevich via Shutterstock.com.

You don’t have to get married and have kids to be happy. The life script isn’t for everyone. Here’s why you should ditch it and do your own thing

She Can Afford the Bills on Her Own, Yet Doesn’t Want her Husband to Quit His Job

woman crossing arms like she won't do it again
Photo Credit: Khosro via Shutterstock.com.

He wants to stop working, she doesn’t think that would be fair. What do you think
 

Source: Reddit