The tradwife movement is gaining steam. Influencers abound online, showcasing the glory of a so-called “traditional” lifestyle.
However, all isn’t what it seems. The trad-wife movement has massive flaws.
What is the Tradwife Movement?
The tradwife movement seeks to return us to a time when women stayed home with children while relying on men to provide.
The ladies of the movement showcase their “wonderful” lives on social media and seek to convince everyone else that their way is the right way, the way American society should be.
Problems with the Tradwife Movement
The movement seems glamorous on the surface. Many women would love the opportunity to stay home and raise their children. But if you dig a little deeper, you’ll find the gaping holes in trad wive’s arguments.
Here are some of the biggest problems with the trad-wife movement.
1. They Aren’t Really Tradwives
The most glaring problem with the tradwife movement is those claiming to be traditional wives really aren’t. They’re social media influencers, making thousands of dollars showcasing a false aesthetic.
All their free time isn’t dedicated to their families. They’re spending time building their brands, making videos, marketing themselves, and pushing a lifestyle that they don’t fully embrace.
2. No Financial Independence
Women who do fully embrace the lifestyle give up their financial independence. They don’t make their own money and must always rely on their husband’s kindness to meet their needs.
When a relationship works like a partnership, this arrangement can work. But women who don’t work often experience financial abuse.
3. Retirement Gap
Women who give up their careers for domestic labor may have a rude awakening in retirement.
Without access to your own retirement savings accounts, you’ll have to rely on your spouse’s social security earnings. If you divorce late in life, you’ll receive 50% of what they receive.
4. When You Need To Return to the Workforce
Many stay-at-home mothers decide to return to the workforce when their kids are older. However, the massive gap in your resume makes job hunting difficult. You may find yourself stuck in low-paying jobs, unable to move up.
Tradwives don’t expect to return to work, but you never know what will happen. Nobody expects divorce or a life-altering accident.
5. The Risk of Becoming a Single Mom
Most men don’t want full custody in divorce. You may think it will never happen to you, but it happens to women across the country who thought their marriage was different.
Now, you’re raising your kids on your own with little support, and because you need flexibility, you struggle to find a job that pays well.
6. Must Rely on Someone Else
Women who embrace the so-called “traditional” lifestyle must always rely on someone else for their health, wellness, and financial security.
Putting your entire life in someone else’s hands is a terrifying prospect, even in the best circumstances.
7. Trapped in a Bad Situation
When you rely on someone else to survive, they can hold it against you. Many husbands turn abusive after their wives quit their jobs to take care of children.
The women have no choice but to stay; they have no money of their own.
8. When Everything is in His Name
It’s hard to build credit with no job. Many tradwives let their husbands control the finances. Everything, from the car she drives to the home to the bank accounts, is solely in his name.
Though she’s entitled to a share in divorce, moving on without a credit history may be difficult. She also may face challenges picking up the slack if he becomes disabled.
9. Our Grandmothers Weren’t Happy
The tradwife lifestyle celebrates our grandmothers, nostalgic for the days when they stayed home to raise kids.
Only it misses a key point: many of our grandmothers hated their lives. They fought for the right to work outside the home. They dreamed of different lives and stood proud when their daughters and granddaughters turned those dreams into reality.
Many of our grandmothers would weep at the idea of returning to domestic servitude.
10. A Woman’s Work is Never Done
In the tradwife worldview, the husband provides while the mother takes care of the home. The distribution of labor is widely unequal, as he gets to relax after his shift and on weekends, while her work never ends.
Don’t expect him to help. Everything from raising the kids to cleaning the home to feeding the family falls on her shoulders.
11. Unrealistic for Most
The tradwife lifestyle is out of reach for most Americans. Many mothers would love to stay home with their kids, but they can’t afford it.
Those who can often scoff at the “tradwife aesthetic” carefully curated for social media. Rarely can one person do everything that’s expected of the traditional wife.
12. Traditional According to Who?
The tradwife lifestyle celebrates the “traditional” idea of marriage and relationships, but it’s a far cry from reality. There was a brief period of massive economic growth in the 1950s that allowed middle-class moms to stay home, but most women worked at all other times throughout history.
Women worked in the fields, growing crops. They helped their artisan husbands. They were servants, laundresses, nursemaids, midwives, shopkeepers, and more.
The “traditional” idea that women shouldn’t work is less than 100 years old. Only wealthy women (and men) had the luxury of not working.
13. Trad Men’s Expectations
Women who want a more traditional role in the family must navigate conflicting expectations from the men who claim they want the same thing.
These “traditional” men want a wife who will handle the house and children but don’t want to be sole providers. They scoff at women who expect them to pay for dates, calling them “golddiggers.”
Many trad men want a tradwife who also works. Finding a man who will fill the traditional provider role while treating his wife like an equal partner is a massive challenge.
14. No Autonomy
A crucial aspect of the trad-wife lifestyle is the husband leads, and the wife follows. Tradwives submit to their husbands’ will. There is no compromise.
He may be willing to listen to her ideas, but at the end of the day, his way always goes.
15. What Do You Do When The Kids Are Gone?
The tradwife aesthetic is relatively new, so the moms singing its praises haven’t had to face the question of what comes next.
Tradwives put their kids and families first, but what will they do when the children leave the nest?
16. Different People Want Different Things
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a stay-at-home mother. There’s nothing wrong with the tradwife lifestyle, either.
A massive problem with tradwife influencers is the claim that their lifestyle is the superior, natural choice for everyone. It’s not.
Everyone wants different things in life. Some women want to pursue careers while raising kids, and some men want to stay home and raise the children. Many people don’t want kids at all.
Tradwives pretend their way is the right way and scoff at everyone who makes different choices.
17. It’s Misogyny
It’s impossible to ignore the underlying misogyny behind the tradwife movement. Women are regulated to the home, give up their autonomy, and spend their lives performing domestic labor while men work, enjoy their free time, and control their own lives.
Tradwife Movements Makes Women Subservient
The tradwife movement seeks to turn back women’s equality under the guise of motherhood.
Many women enjoy being stay-at-home moms without the misogyny. They’re equal partners in their relationships, where men and women share domestic duties at home, decision-making, and finances.
Women Are Leaving Their Husbands In Droves
Walk away wife syndrome is all about weaponized incompetence. Women are fed up and leaving men who don’t contribute.