Before we talk about the only obvious downside of actually cooking an egg (which is cracking it out of its shell in one piece), we must first pay homage to that lovely morsel of pure bliss encased in mother nature’s wrapper that bestows power, privilege, and entitlement upon whoever orders it. No other food allows you to dictate to the chef precisely how you want it cooked and served at your pleasure.
The Possibilities are Endless!
How would you like your eggs? The six most empowering words in the English language. Hmmm. Let me think: over easy, sunny side up, scrambled, basted, poached, soft-boiled, hard-boiled, or maybe fried and broken before served upon my plate? The one food in life that you can truly have “YOUR WAY.” Sorry, Burger King.
I Will Send Them Back
If the power to order the exact cooked egg you desire isn’t haughty enough, you have every right to refuse a sloppy, cooked egg (unless you ordered it that way) and return it to the chef, demanding that they provide you with the exact cooked egg you desire. Can anything be more blissful?
The Home-Cooked Egg
If ordering the perfect egg at a restaurant is akin to dining royalty, then making the perfect egg at home can feel as if the egg king has rescinded your privileges and banished you to the dark ages.
Even the Ancients Were Stumped
Since the invention of the written word, two of the first meaningful correspondences between our ancestorial scribes must have pondered the age-old question of which came first, the chicken or the egg, followed closely by the age-old enigma: how to crack the perfect egg. Since then, millions of words have been dedicated to the process and techniques of conquering one of life’s true mysteries.
Cooking Show Fanatic
Like millions around the world, I watch food shows like “Chopped,” “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives,” and my absolute favorite cooking show of all time, “The Great British Baking Show,” which is like celebrating a holiday with long-lost family members every episode. All these shows have different formats and present amazing varieties of food and ways to prepare food that are fascinating to watch and even experiment with at home.
Even the Experts have Trouble
However, the one thing all these shows have in common is that, at some point, they whip out that venerable staple of all things consumable, the indispensable egg. Even though some of the greatest chefs in the world entertain us with their culinary genius on these shows, they all occasionally mess up cracking the egg.
Do as I Say, Not as I Do!
Top chefs seem to be all over the place when actually cracking the egg. Some claim that the small end of the egg cracks better than the fat end. Some use the edge of a pan. Some use the corner of a counter, and all attempt to show us their skill by using the one-handed cracking method that palms the egg for the “crack and drop.” I’ve tried that method myself numerous times, only to find my hand soaked with egg wash.
Egg Slime and Elusive Shell Fragment
The absolute worst part of a cracked egg malfunction is the egg chip. That tiny little egg fragment suspiciously floats atop the egg slime you have just carefully cracked into a hot pan. This piece of eggshell must be removed before serving, or your reputation will forever be tainted. Never again will anyone feel safe eating an egg under your roof. So, your task is now to extract the offending remnant from the cooking egg before the juices solidify into a solid white and yellow hue.
Removing a wayward piece of shell is a delicate operation. As with many anatomical surgeries, it requires skill and patience, knowing that you will likely have to remove much of the surrounding healthy tissue to extract the wayward particle. However, a successful procedure is generally cheered by the household member who will be eating the egg.
Is There a Perfect Way to Crack an Egg?
Possibly. I won’t take credit for this egg-cracking maneuver, but I have stumbled on an egg-cracking technique that works pretty well. After failing to consistently crack a good egg for years, I gave up on the experts and tried something radical.
I hold the egg over my counter as level as possible by the sides and crack it on the flat surface. Next, I place my thumbs opposing each other into the crater-like crack I made and pull the shell apart. This method has resulted in an almost perfect record of dropping a shell-free egg into a frying pan bowl without breaking the egg itself. Give it a try.
Become a Culinary Master!
Cooking is far cheaper than eating out, but where do you start? These tips will help you become a master chef in no time!
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Read it here: 18 Cheap Meal Ideas to Help You Eat Well for Less
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Read it Here: How To Eat on $20 per Month