Forgetting Birthday Gifts May Highlight Relationship Red Flags

Gift-giving shows love. It’s a way to tell someone you’ve been thinking about them and show you care. 

Holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays are the few times per year that social convention tells us we should shower our loved ones with gifts to show them how much they mean to us. 

No Money for Gifts

Unfortunately, times are rough. With inflation running rampant and the cost of necessities rising, some folks don’t have a spare penny in their budgets to give their loved ones thoughtful gifts. 

We’re all struggling. The person celebrating a special day usually understands when money is tight. They’d love a token that shows how much you care, but they know it’s not affordable. 

That’s the attitude one woman had when her partner claimed he didn’t have money to buy her a gift until she discovered the truth. 

Money for Yourself

The Original Poster (OP) found a receipt in the trash three days before her birthday. Her boyfriend bought himself nearly $80 worth of non-essentials, including new t-shirts and stickers. 

But he didn’t have the money to buy her a gift. 

It’s a situation many of us have been in before. I had an ex-boyfriend once who had the foresight to pre-order himself a game that came out at midnight on my birthday. It was $70. But he couldn’t afford to get me a birthday present. 

Extreme Selfishness

Behavior like this highlights the partner’s extreme selfishness. OP is justifiably sad because she was slammed with the realization that her boyfriend does not care about her at all. She will never be as important to him as he is to her. 

I understand it. It was the exact same feeling that hit me when I discovered he had preordered his game. How could he have the foresight to order a game but not to get me a present? How could he afford a game but not a gift?

The truth takes a while to digest. 

He could have gotten a gift. He didn’t want to because he didn’t value his girlfriend. 

She’s Not a Priority

The girlfriends in this story (both myself and the OP) simply aren’t priorities to men like this. And it’s not even that they don’t care – it’s far worse. The girlfriend is so much of an afterthought that they don’t even realize it’s her birthday. 

When they figure it out at the last minute, they scramble, having spent all their money on stuff they wanted for themselves without even stopping to think about their partner. 

They want a girlfriend to have a girlfriend and all the benefits that come with it (usually cooking, cleaning, social status, and, in my case, a place to live), but they don’t actually care about the woman as a person. She doesn’t matter to him. 

She only matters when she’s doing something for his benefit. 

When Something Isn’t Important To Him

Some men will tell their girlfriends that they don’t matter. These guys will say things like “Christmas and birthdays just aren’t important to me,” without even considering whether it’s crucial to their girlfriend. 

They don’t care if it’s important to her. All they care about is their own wants and needs. 

Relationship Are Two Way Streets

What these men fail to realize is that relationships are two-way streets. It’s about giving and taking, not just taking. It’s also about compromising and showing the other person you care by taking an interest in what they care about. 

You don’t have to love gift-giving, but if your partner loves gifts, it shouldn’t hurt you to get them something thoughtful. You should also watch the show they like sometimes, go to their favorite restaurant, and talk with them about their hobby. 

Sharing each other’s joys and interests is what makes relationships worthwhile. 

Source: Reddit