Domestic labor is a constant point of contention in relationships, with women often getting the short end of the stick.
One man came to the internet after a fight with his girlfriend over one of the chores he assigned her.
The Original Poster (OP) began by sharing that he used to go with his girlfriend to do the grocery shopping when they first moved in, but he prefers to use that time for himself.
“When we first moved in together, we would do groceries together. However, she likes going early morning on the weekend, and I prefer using that time to go to the gym or skiing in the winter,” he said.
His brilliant solution was for her to do it herself. “I told her she could just do groceries on her own without me. She seemed a little uneasy about this, but agreed,” he admitted.
She Asks What He Needs
Much to OP’s exasperation, his girlfriend refused to read his mind and know exactly what he needed every week.
“Throughout the week, she’ll tell me to think about what I need at the store when she goes that weekend. It gets annoying because I don’t know what I need in that moment, and I have other things to focus on during the week, like work,” he complained.
She Finalizes Her List
Every Friday, she finalizes her list and asks him yet again what he needs.
“Friday, she was making her list and asking me what I needed. I told her everything I needed, and Saturday morning, she went and picked up everything,” he shared.
OP Out of Coffee
On Saturday Afternoon, OP went to make a cup of coffee and was shocked to discover he was out of kcups.
“I asked gf if she got me more. She told me no because I never told her I needed them,” he said.
But it didn’t end there.
“I got annoyed and told her she should’ve checked. She told me she never drinks coffee, so she never thought to check, and that’s why she asked me what I needed,” he shared, adding that he had to make an effort to get himself things by going to the store himself.
Even His Mom Thinks He’s Wrong
OP ended by saying that his girlfriend was obviously upset but ended up apologizing. He told his mom the story, and she told him he was being a jerk, but he disagreed. So he came to Reddit to see if he was in the wrong.
Reddit Agrees With Mom
Reddit users sided with OP’s mother, saying he is, in fact, a giant jerk, if not worse.
“Wow, you’re so controlling that your 26-year-old girlfriend is afraid to grocery shop without you because you’ll blow up at her if she doesn’t read your mind. Then you made her apologize for your **** up,” said one user, astonished at how OP couldn’t see how awful he was being.
“You’d rather go to the gym or ski instead of grocery shopping? Like you think running this errand is a special treat for your girlfriend and not just a task you’re forcing her to do because you’d rather not be bothered?” asked another. “You sound selfish and like a spoiled baby.”
OP Forces the Workload on Girlfriend
Many users pointed out how OP is trying to force his girlfriend to do everything for him so he doesn’t have to be responsible for himself.
“So not only has she been assigned by him all the physical labor of grocery shopping – she is [now] being assigned all the mental labor of figuring out all the things that he wants her to get without him telling her,” stated one user. “He can’t be bothered to notice when his coffee that only he drinks is low – she needs to spend extra time going through the entire kitchen figuring out what he doesn’t know he wants right now but might want in the next week,” they added, highlighting the absurdity of OP”s demands.
“You shoved all the work of grocery shopping onto her, plus all the emotional labor of preparing for grocery shopping, then got mad that she didn’t double check the things that only you would know about,” recapped another.
Girlfriend Finds the Thread
Sometimes, Reddit posts have happy endings. The girlfriend’s friend saw the thread and sent it to her. After reading all the comments, she felt validated.
She made a throw-away account to share that Reddit helped her see how awful the relationship was.
“I first want to thank all of you for making me feel validated and that I didn’t do anything wrong. I really thought I should’ve checked the box to see if he needed more coffee,” she shared.
She added that the coffee situation was just the tip of the iceberg. OP constantly talked down to her, refused to address her concerns, and treated her poorly in general.
Thanks to Reddit, she dumped him.