Husband Throws a Fit When Wife Needs Surgery

Wedding vows typically include a line about supporting each other in sickness and in health. It appears that one man thought this only applied to his sickness, as he threw a hissy fit upon discovering he’d have to step up while his wife recovers from surgery. 

Wife Needs Surgery

The wife, who’s also our Original Poster (OP), came to Reddit seeking advice after her husband’s tantrum. She needs surgery to repair nerve damage in her arm. 

I need a surgery to repair some nerve and artery damage to my arm or else I’m going to lose the use of that arm,” she explained. 

Husband Refuses To Step Up

Upon hearing that the surgery was scheduled and she’d be unable to use her arm for a few weeks, OP’s husband lost his mind. 

He’s stomping around and slamming doors like a child all p*ssy that his schedule will be affected and won’t even talk to me about the surgery,” she reported, adding that he even said “he won’t “pick up my slack.”

OP Wonders What To Do

OP was baffled at her husband’s behavior. They’ve been together for 15 years, sharing a home and children. She doesn’t get why he can’t support her through this, and even considers cancelling the surgery. 

“I’m just thinking stuff it, no surgery and just wait till I can’t use my arm anymore and at least I’ll get funded home help for the housework and kids when that happens and try to adjust to a new lifestyle,” shared OP. 

But she likes having two arms and would prefer to get the surgery and be able to recover in peace. She simply can’t understand her husband’s position. 

“You would think after this long and building a life together, he would have some ability to show me a bit of support,” she said. 

OP Asks Reddit for Advice

At a loss, OP came to Reddit. She thinks her husband is being a complete jerk but wonders if she should cut him slack, as the surgery would be stressful for him as well. 

Reddit flocked to OP’s defense, but gave her tough love she may not be ready to hear. 


They say Reddit is quick to end relationships, but many users thought it was justified in this case. A grown man throwing a hissy fit, because he’d have to pick up some extra work while his wife recovers from surgery, doesn’t deserve a wife. 

“This would be grounds for me noping…out of that marriage. I’m not even kidding. He would rather you lose your ability to use your arm than adjusting temporarily? Wtf,” said one user. 

“Get your surgery, recover and hand him some divorce papers. You deserve someone who cares about you and your health!” exclaimed another. 

He’d Leave if it Was Long Term

Many pointed out the sad statistic that men are more likely to leave when their wife develops a serious illness and said the husband would likely add to that statistic. 

He can’t even handle a short-term inconvenience; he’d never stand by OP’s side for something more serious. 

“Men with sick wives leave,” stated one user.  “It’s an overwhelming truth. Your husband has shown you who he is. Make accommodations accordingly.”

Selfish Love

Op’s situation brought the harsh truth to life: her husband doesn’t love her, he only likes what she can do for him. When she can’t provide the services he expects, he throws a tantrum designed to get his way. 

The man is selfish and doesn’t care about OP unless she’s doing things for him. He won’t step up and care for her, that’s not part of the deal in his head. 

We hope OP leaves this selfish manchild, gets her surgery, and moves on with her life.

Source: Reddit

Author: Melanie Allen

Title: Journalist

Expertise: Pursuing Your Passions, Travel, Wellness, Hobbies, Finance, Gaming, Happiness

Melanie Allen is an American journalist and happiness expert. She has bylines on MSN, the AP News Wire, Wealth of Geeks, Media Decision, and numerous media outlets across the nation and is a certified happiness life coach. She covers a wide range of topics centered around self-actualization and the quest for a fulfilling life.