The word “extrovert” conjures all sorts of images, especially to the quiet introvert.
Loud. Obnoxious. Overbearing.
But these unfair associations aren’t accurate.
So, what is an extrovert?
Discover the true definition, common characteristics, how to thrive as an extrovert, and the most common myths surrounding extroversion.
What is an Extrovert?
An extrovert is a person who recharges with social interactions. They draw strength and energy from groups and need to be around others to process information, destress, and relax.
That’s it.
Extrovert Characteristics
Though how they recharge is the defining characteristic of extroversion, many share similar traits.
Although every individual is different, here are some attributes that are typically common to extroverts:
- Enjoy Groups
- Have Many Friends
- Make Friends Easily
- Charming
- Think Externally
Enjoy Groups
Most extroverts thrive in company. Being around people helps them relax, recharge their social batteries, and get pumped up for the next challenge.
Though they’re comfortable by themselves, they’d prefer spending time in the company of others.
Have Many Friends
Extroverts have large and flourishing friend groups. They’re friends with everyone and feel at ease in a variety of social settings.
You’ll find an extrovert playing Dungeons & Dragons with one group on Friday night, then heading off to a rock show on Saturday with a completely different crowd.
Make Friends Easily
An extrovert makes friends with their bank teller, their server, and the person standing behind them in line at the grocery store.
They have friends online and in real life, making new friends every time they interact with someone.
Charming
Extroverts make friends easily because they tend to exude charm. Their friendly demeanor and openness immediately puts others at ease.
Think Externally
Do you think inside your head or need to externalize your thoughts by talking or writing them out?
Many extroverts think and process information externally, while introverts tend to work things through inside their own heads.
Extroverts in Social Situations
You can’t always point out the extroverts in social situations, as they don’t always behave like you’d expect. Although many extroverts will take the stage for karaoke, charm a room, and engage in small talk with coworkers, some struggle with social anxiety, and although they gain energy in social situations, they don’t enjoy them.
The introverted extroverts cause the most confusion.
Introverted Extroverts
Introverted extroverts don’t enjoy social interactions. Sometimes, you think they’re reticent because they avoid gatherings and parties, and when they do go, they sit awkwardly away from others.
While these extroverts dislike social engagements, they need them to feel energized. It may be confusing, even for them, that they feel tired when they spend time alone.
Debunking Myths About Extroverts
Myths about extroverts abound online.
You’ll see people talking about how extroverts are loud, annoying, and have no real friends.
These traits don’t define extroversion. They’re myths that won’t die because people keep spreading them. Common myths about extroverts include:
- Obnoxious
- No Real Friends
- Can’t Be Alone
- Nice
- Loves People
Obnoxious
Extroverts have a reputation for being “extra.” They’re constantly talking and bringing new people into the group, which can be exhausting for introverts.
But most extroverts aren’t obnoxious. They don’t have to be the life of the party or jump on tables to sing. Most of them are just normal people who enjoy the company of others.
No Real Friends
A common misconception about extroverts is that they have tons of acquaintances but no real friends. While it’s true that most extroverts can make anyone feel comfortable and at ease in a variety of social situations, that doesn’t mean that they can’t develop deep bonds with cherished friends.
Many extroverts have close friendships, but they also have a full circle of gaming friends, going-out friends, and groups of people they know on a more surface level.
Can’t Be Alone
Although extroverts recharge in social situations, that doesn’t mean they can’t be alone. Many enjoy their own company, and some don’t even like crowds.
Extroverts can enjoy solitude just as much as introverts, but they often feel drained when stuck by themselves for long periods.
Nice
There’s a misconception that all extroverts are nice people. They’re not.
Anyone, introvert or extrovert, can be a bad person. Some extroverts are masters of manipulation, using their excellent social skills to put folks at ease before attempting to cheat and steal.
Friendly people aren’t necessarily nice, just as standoffish people aren’t always mean.
Loves People
Everyone thinks extroverts love people. If they thrive in social groups, they must love going out and being social, right?
Wrong.
Some extroverts hate people. They hate that they need social interactions to feel good about themselves and would rather be alone.
How To Thrive as an Extrovert
Extroverts may find society’s move to the online world taxing. People no longer gather in third spaces and don’t even leave their homes to work or grocery shop.
The opportunities for social interaction that extroverts need to thrive are dwindling.
Here’s how to navigate the changing world and thrive as an extrovert.
Know Yourself
The first step to thriving for anyone is to know yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses, your limits, and your desires.
Some extroverts don’t realize they’re extroverted because they don’t like people, but they’re confused when they feel recharged after a party. Others desperately crave social interactions but are too shy or socially anxious to achieve them. A few introverts think they’re extroverted because they enjoy social interactions.
You must deep-dive into your subconscious to determine whether you’re genuinely extroverted or not.
Understanding yourself is crucial to thriving.
Reach Out to People
Extroverts thrive when in groups, but some struggle to get those groups together. In our ultra-independent world, we feel awkward reaching out to schedule these crucial meetups. Instead, we sulk, wondering why nobody invites us anywhere.
As an extrovert, sometimes you must take that crucial first step. Host a part. Invite a friend to brunch. Do the work to create the social situations you need to recharge.
Accept Others Where They Are
Sometimes, extroverts don’t understand the introvert’s need for solitude. However, you don’t need to understand someone else to respect their boundaries.
Give the introverts in your life the space they need to recharge. Compromise on get-togethers to do things they enjoy as well as the things you want. Meet others where they are, and they’re more likely to support you back.
Leave the House
Our interconnected world means we never have to leave the house if we don’t want to. But an extrovert will wither without engagement.
Stop having everything delivered and leave the house to run errands, talk to customer service representatives, see live shows, and listen to poetry readings. Get out of the house and go where the people are.
Supporting the Extroverts in Your Life
Some introverts can’t fathom an extrovert’s desire for constant social interactions. They thrive in solitude, so everyone should, right?
If you’re an introvert with a beloved extrovert in your life, give them grace. Accompany them into the outside now and again. Spend time talking with them.
But you must also be comfortable setting boundaries. Let them know when it’s too much for you and when you need space to recharge. Friends should respect each other’s needs.
Getting Along With Everyone
I’m not a psychologist, and this article’s purpose isn’t to dive deep into the psychology of introverts vs. extroverts.
I’m a certified life coach focused on happiness and an extroverted introvert. I know too well the myths surrounding extroversion and society’s expectations that we all behave in ways that fit into the neat little box.
My goal is to define extroversion and clear up the confusion so that everyone can learn to respect each other’s boundaries and treat each other with respect and dignity despite our differences.
So whether you’re a socially awkward or outgoing introvert, shy or confident extrovert, you can better understand your friends and peers and work to get along well with everyone.
After all, respect and mutual understanding are crucial to happiness.