As society evolves, we realize some things we thought about parenthood are way off and actually hurt kids. Here are some ways today’s parents are setting their kids up for failure.
Parentification
Parentification occurs when the eldest child becomes a stand-in for a parent. The older kid loses their ability to be a kid, as they’re now responsible for the health and well-being of their siblings.
Of course, there’s a balance. Asking the older kid to babysit and help out now and again is expected. But when the older child can no longer be a kid because they’re constantly expected to help raise the other kids, it becomes a problem.
No Social Life
Some parents don’t allow their kids to have friends. They can’t go to friends’ houses, join extracurricular activities, or do anything outside the home.
These kids may struggle to develop healthy relationships in adulthood.
Over Scheduling
Kids don’t need every waking moment to be scheduled for them. It’s okay to let kids be bored. Leave them to their own devices and let them entertain themselves.
Unable to Fail
Strict parents react harshly to any hint of failure. These kids become anxiety-ridden adults, barely able to function in the real world.
Helecoptering
Helicopter parents struggle to let go. They don’t let their kids strike out independently and learn their own life lessons.
Some parents even go so far as to sit in interviews with their adult children. Guess who didn’t get the job?
Restricting Access to Education
Some parents don’t want their kids to learn. The parents pushing to ban books and restrict topics they don’t like are playing a dangerous game. Their kids will grow up in ignorant bliss about how the world works. It’s a disservice not only to the kids but to society as a whole.
The entire narrative around parental choice is dangerous for children. Parents shouldn’t have the power to keep their kids ignorant.
Mini Me
Some parents think their kids should be tiny versions of themselves. They push their kids into the activities and professions they want without giving what the kids want a second thought.
Brainwashing
The idea that it’s your kid, so you can do what you want with them, violates children’s human rights. Although parents should have a significant say in what values to instill in their children, they shouldn’t have complete control.
Some parents brainwash their kids into insidious and abusive cults. The government doesn’t say anything because of “values” and “parental choice,” while young girls get married off to old men and never get the opportunity to be their own person.
It’s state-sanctioned child abuse, but the parents don’t even realize it because the same thing happened to them.
Disrespecting Boundaries
By the time we try to teach kids consent, we’ve likely already trained them that they aren’t allowed to have boundaries. We only start with the “no means no” lessons when they’re teenagers, but how often did we force little Sally to hug her creepy uncle Jimmy despite her protests?
We also force sharing on children. Although we should teach that sharing is caring, many take it too far and don’t allow their kids to have anything of their own. We then wonder why they enter into abusive relationships as adults.
Sheltering
People love to push childhood innocence as an excuse to shelter their kids from the real world. “They’re children; they shouldn’t be exposed to this!” they scream.
However, sheltering children from reality only hurts them in the long run. Kids are far more aware than we realize and far more understanding than we give them credit for. Rather than pretend things don’t exist, we should teach them about something in age-appropriate ways.
Refusal To Discipline
Parents these days can’t fathom that their kids are anything but perfect little angels. They refuse to discipline their children, allowing them to run amok in public places and disrespect other people.
These kids will become entitled adults who think they can do no wrong.
Pushing Gender Norms
Some parents won’t let their boys play with dolls and prevent their girls from playing with ninja turtles. They give their little girls baking sets and give their little boys microscopes. Then, they push gendered chores on their children, expecting girls to help with all the domestic labor while the boys relax.
These gendered expectations are hard to break. The boys grow up feeling entitled to a woman’s domestic labor, while the girls struggle to form healthy, balanced partnerships.
Reasons Not To Have Kids
Despite all the pressure to procreate, it’s perfectly valid not to want kids. Millennials and younger generations are opting out of parenthood at record rates.
Here are their top reasons for not wanting kids.
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