How Adversity Makes You Stronger: 14 Skills Life’s Challenges Build

What won’t kill you only makes you stronger, right?

We have to believe that, because life is challenging. As Buffy the Vampire Slayer once said, “The hardest thing about this world is living in it.”

But the challenges help us grow and become better people. 

Seeing how adversity makes you stronger can motivate you to overcome all life’s challenges. 

How Adversity Makes You Stronger

I know we all want an easy life full of contentment. It seems like the dream, but is it really?

What would life be if everything you ever wanted was handed to you? Who would you become if you never had to overcome any obstacles or face any challenges?

The harsh truth about life is that adversity does make you stronger – but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. 

I Don’t Want You To Face Adversity

Look, I know I’m putting a positive spin on adversity, but the truth is I don’t really want you to face it. I especially don’t want kids to endure the massive problems that “build character.”

Unfortunately, I don’t get a say in it, and you probably don’t either. 

But showcasing how adversity makes you stronger can help you face it when it comes. It can give you the motivation to move forward, because you know you will come out the other end stronger. 

So here are the skills you can look forward to building after facing adversity. 

Empathy

Isn’t it fascinating that the people who never struggled even once in their lives are the ones who also lack empathy?

When you’ve faced adversity, you can understand what others are going through. You know how hard it is to overcome barriers, and you don’t expect other people to do it “just because I did.”

Instead, you want to fix society, so nobody has to suffer the way you did. 

That’s empathy, and adversity can help build it. 

Gratitude

We all have so much to be thankful for, but sometimes we take our blessings for granted. 

Adversity makes us stronger because it often reminds us (often in the worst possible way) that we should show more gratitude. 

I get that it’s tough to show appreciation for what we have when we’re at risk of losing it all. But when you overcome the challenge and see it through to the other side, you’ll learn the value of gratitude. 

It will make you a better person. 

Resourcefulness

One of the biggest challenges people face is lack of money. Wages are stagnant, prices keep rising, and jobs are scarce. 

Although I don’t wish these experiences on anyone, I’m impressed by people’s resourcefulness. 

Kids who grew up in generational poverty mastered the art of eating well on less. They learned to craft delicious meals from grocery store staples. They learned how to take care of themselves from an early age. 

In addition, folks struggling with stagnant wages find tons of unique ways to boost their incomes. They join the gig economy and take side jobs to make ends meet. 

While I think the fact that people are forced to do these things speaks to broader societal problems, I applaud those who developed the resourcefulness to survive despite it. 

Emotional Intelligence

Humans are social creatures. We need each other to survive. 

Other people can help you through any problem. Those who network, foster friendships, help others, and build community are the most likely to overcome adversity. They have friends to fall back on if they need a helping hand. 

Unfortunately, those who’ve had everything handed to them on a silver platter forget that valuable lesson. 

Sometimes facing a challenging situation is the swift kick in the face we need to learn how to be better to one another. 

Independence

I know I literally just said people need people to survive, and I do stand by that. However, one of life’s harshest truths is that nobody cares about you as much as you do. And sometimes, you’re all you’ve got. 

While it’s great to be able to lean on others, we also need to learn to stand on our own two feet. Adversity makes you stronger because it forces you to do just that. 

You’re facing the challenge. And although your friends and family can help, you’ve ultimately got to step up and slay your dragon yourself. 

Confidence

The best part about learning independence through adversity is that it also builds another crucial skill: confidence. 

You did slay your dragon. Now, you know you can. 

Overcoming the first challenge will give you confidence to know you can overcome the next, and the next, and the next. 

Adaptability

Adversity makes us stronger because it teaches us to adapt to life as it is, regardless of what we had planned. 

Because the truth is the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. 

Someone who’s never faced a wrench may freeze up when life tosses one into their master plan. But people who have faced adversity can adapt. We even learn to make backup plans “just in case.”

Realism

Adversity can teach us one of life’s harshest lessons: It’s not fair. The world isn’t just. It doesn’t care that you’re a good person. In the real world, cheaters win while honest folk fail.

But approaching the world with pragmatism rather than idealism is a valuable skill. Knowing that life isn’t fair helps us make better plans, appreciate our blessings, and move forward after a hardship. 

A Great Work Ethic

Folks who had tough lives know the value of hard work. Nothing was ever handed to them. 

They had to fight tooth and nail for scraps and rose through the ranks through grit and determination. 

The strong work ethic that adversity helped them build served them well.

Recognizing Toxic People

It’s easy to make and keep friends when things are going well. 

Adversity has a way of showing who your true friends are. When things get tough, the people you thought were your friends may turn their backs on you. It helps you identify your true friends. 

But it’s not only that. Adversity makes you stronger by helping you recognize toxicity. People who grew up with narcissistic parents might learn to recognize the signs. Those who overcame a toxic relationship can spot the patterns and avoid people who show similar red flags.

Of course, it’s awful that so many people are terrible that we even have to think about this. I wish everyone could just be nice to each other, but unfortunately that’s not reality. 

Financial Discipline

I grew up in a lower middle-class household. We weren’t poor, but we weren’t rich either. We wore hand-me-downs and got free school lunches. My siblings and I had to work to help my parents make ends meet.  

The financial struggles my parents faced taught me a valuable lesson: I didn’t want to struggle in the same way. 

The adversity I faced in childhood helped me understand the value of money. I prioritize needs over wants, save for retirement, and try to make smart financial choices. 

Problem-Solving Under Pressure

Life’s biggest challenges create a dark cloud over our minds, making it nearly impossible to focus or decide how to move forward. 

But somehow, we manage. We solve every problem thrown our way, navigate through the storm, and find the sunny pastures ahead. 

Now, problems don’t feel so big. We overcame massive problems in the worst situation imaginable; we can easily solve this deadline problem at work, right?

That’s some of the strength adversity brings. 

Resilience

When life brings you nothing but lemons, you learn how to make lemonade. Adversity makes us stronger by giving us the resolve to overcome all life’s lemons. 

If you’ve ever recovered from a layoff, bounced back after a divorce, or rebuilt your business after a failure, you can recover from anything. 

Perseverance

Perseverance helps us keep moving forward despite the challenges. 

As Buffy says, “Strong is fighting. It’s hard, and it’s painful, and it’s every day. It’s what we have to do.”

Sometimes life will knock you flat on your back, but you’ve got to get up and keep going. Adversity can teach you how to keep getting up no matter what you’ve faced. 

Building these Skills Without Adversity

Adversity generally refers to horrific events, like a job loss, generational poverty, a natural disaster, and other world-altering circumstances. 

I don’t wish those circumstances on anybody. 

The skills adversity helps develop are valuable, but you don’t have to face horrible situations to build them. I’ve only faced a small amount of true adversity, but I think I’ve developed most of these attributes over my life. 

And you can too. 

Start with challenging yourself. Force yourself to face obstacles. Stop taking the easy way out. Help others who are struggling. Learn about the true adversity your neighbors face. Build empathy. 

If you do all these things, you can be a better person without facing adversity.