As a manager in an entertainment complex, I hire many young people to work for the company and hear about their lives, from the colleges they attend to their latest dating disasters.
Girls Get Burned By Jerks on Dating Apps
By far, the most heartbreaking stories come from the girls who feel as if they get burned whenever they meet someone on a dating app. Most problems stem from being too trusting or not picking up on the clues that the guys they meet aren’t very nice.
That’s when I tell them about my sister Judy.
The It Girl
Judy wasn’t your typical 20-something girl. She was way ahead of her time in dating and style, with a groove that put her at the top of cool in the 1970s. You would expect her to be beautiful, and she was, but more importantly, she was sharp.
Sharp was a Style
In those days, “Sharp” wasn’t just a compliment; it was a lifestyle. James Bond was sharp. Cher was sharp, Sinatra was sharp, and Judy was indeed sharp.
She dressed sharp and sexy with perfect hair and make-up before going out for the night and had a cutting-edge personality that could have you rolling on the floor one minute and hanging your head the next, especially if you were a guy.
Without an App, You Had To Go Out!
Nightlife in the seventies was as glitzy and glamorous as portrayed in the movies, and when Judy went out for a Friday night with the girls, they turned every head in the club when they walked in the door.
The girls’ outfits ranged from tight black sequined jumpsuits to minis with boots and every in-vogue style imaginable.
Judy and her entourage were well known, and it was patently understood that any guy wanting to date someone in their group had to be sharp, sophisticated, and a gentleman. Judy wasn’t looking for a hook-up, or any guy for that matter.
She could have them all, but you had to meet her standards, and one slip-up from some guy who came across as sharp but ended up being a jerk never got a second look.
Always Trust Your Gut
She lived in Chicago, a tough town by any standards, and she was a server by day while taking business classes at night.
The story goes that there was this guy named Mike, who was a Chicago Police officer and absolutely infatuated with Judy. He was a great-looking guy, but something turned her off, so she flatly refused to go out with him.
Guys are Great Actors
However, Mike was persistent, and by the third time, she relented and went out on what she even said was a lovely date.
This was on a Friday, and at the end of the evening, Mike asked Judy if she would like to go to the zoo with him on Sunday, to which she agreed, thinking maybe she had misjudged this guy at first.
Grabbing a Donut
Sunday morning rolls around, and Mike picks up Judy for their outing to the zoo. After driving for a few moments, Mike asks Judy if she’d like a donut and some coffee. She agrees, and moments later, he swings the car into a donut shop, jumps out of the car, and trots inside, leaving her alone in the car.
A couple of moments later, he returns with one cup of coffee and a donut, which he breaks in half and places on the dashboard while holding out the coffee for her to take a sip.
Judy looked at him with a smirk, took the donut off the dashboard, and handed it to him, exclaiming, “I’m not a Half Donut Girl, pal.” She then got out of the car and called my mother to come and get her. Yes, Mike apologized profusely for the slight and begged her to come back in the car, but that ship sailed.
Know When You’re Treated Badly
It wasn’t until years later, when I grew up that I had the courage to ask my sister why the half donut was such a big deal to her.
“It wasn’t the donut,” she said. “It was the idea that on our second date, he was going to make all the decisions. He never asked me to go in with him, what I wanted, or something as considerate as whether or not I liked cream in my coffee.”
Don’t Ever be a Half Donut Girl
“If all that doesn’t tell you a ton about this guy’s character, splitting a plain donut and putting it on the dirty dashboard of his car told me exactly what he thought of me,” she added.
“In those few moments, I knew this guy was overbearing, inconsiderate, and cheap. Some girls make excuses for guys when they know deep down they’re being jerks. Not me, I’ll never be a half-donut girl.”
Judy passed away some years ago, but the half-donut girl lesson will live forever.
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