Don’t Let Dating Apps Turn You Into a Half-Donut Girl

 As a manager in an entertainment complex, I hire many young people to work for the company and hear about their lives, from the colleges they attend to their latest dating disasters. 

Girls Get Burned By Jerks on Dating Apps

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By far, the most heartbreaking stories come from the girls who feel as if they get burned whenever they meet someone on a dating app. Most problems stem from being too trusting or not picking up on the clues that the guys they meet aren’t very nice. 

That’s when I tell them about my sister Judy.

The It Girl

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Judy wasn’t your typical 20-something girl. She was way ahead of her time in dating and style, with a groove that put her at the top of cool in the 1970s.  You would expect her to be beautiful, and she was, but more importantly, she was sharp. 

Sharp was a Style

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In those days, “Sharp” wasn’t just a compliment; it was a lifestyle. James Bond was sharp. Cher was sharp, Sinatra was sharp, and Judy was indeed sharp.

She dressed sharp and sexy with perfect hair and make-up before going out for the night and had a cutting-edge personality that could have you rolling on the floor one minute and hanging your head the next, especially if you were a guy.

Without an App, You Had To Go Out!

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 Nightlife in the seventies was as glitzy and glamorous as portrayed in the movies, and when Judy went out for a Friday night with the girls, they turned every head in the club when they walked in the door. 

The girls’ outfits ranged from tight black sequined jumpsuits to minis with boots and every in-vogue style imaginable.

The Posse

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Judy and her entourage were well known, and it was patently understood that any guy wanting to date someone in their group had to be sharp, sophisticated, and a gentleman. Judy wasn’t looking for a hook-up, or any guy for that matter. 

She could have them all, but you had to meet her standards, and one slip-up from some guy who came across as sharp but ended up being a jerk never got a second look.

Always Trust Your Gut

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She lived in Chicago, a tough town by any standards, and she was a server by day while taking business classes at night.  

The story goes that there was this guy named Mike, who was a Chicago Police officer and absolutely infatuated with Judy. He was a great-looking guy, but something turned her off, so she flatly refused to go out with him.

Guys are Great Actors 

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However, Mike was persistent, and by the third time, she relented and went out on what she even said was a lovely date. 

This was on a Friday, and at the end of the evening, Mike asked Judy if she would like to go to the zoo with him on Sunday, to which she agreed, thinking maybe she had misjudged this guy at first.

Grabbing a Donut

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Sunday morning rolls around, and Mike picks up Judy for their outing to the zoo. After driving for a few moments, Mike asks Judy if she’d like a donut and some coffee. She agrees, and moments later, he swings the car into a donut shop, jumps out of the car, and trots inside, leaving her alone in the car.

Big Mistake 

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 A couple of moments later, he returns with one cup of coffee and a donut, which he breaks in half and places on the dashboard while holding out the coffee for her to take a sip.

Judy looked at him with a smirk, took the donut off the dashboard, and handed it to him, exclaiming, “I’m not a Half Donut Girl, pal.”  She then got out of the car and called my mother to come and get her. Yes, Mike apologized profusely for the slight and begged her to come back in the car, but that ship sailed.

Know When You’re Treated Badly

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It wasn’t until years later, when I grew up that I had the courage to ask my sister why the half donut was such a big deal to her. 

“It wasn’t the donut,” she said. “It was the idea that on our second date, he was going to make all the decisions. He never asked me to go in with him, what I wanted, or something as considerate as whether or not I liked cream in my coffee.”

Don’t Ever be a Half Donut Girl

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 “If all that doesn’t tell you a ton about this guy’s character, splitting a plain donut and putting it on the dirty dashboard of his car told me exactly what he thought of me,” she added. 

“In those few moments, I knew this guy was overbearing, inconsiderate, and cheap. Some girls make excuses for guys when they know deep down they’re being jerks. Not me, I’ll never be a half-donut girl.”  

Judy passed away some years ago, but the half-donut girl lesson will live forever.

Women Are Leaving Their Husbands In Droves

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Walk away wife syndrome is all about weaponized incompetence. Women are fed up and leaving men who don’t contribute. 

Here’s what women say about it

Complex Feelings About Being a Female Breadwinner

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As female breadwinners are on the rise, it’s important to discuss the complex feelings that can arise when we shrug off societal expectations

Ditch the Life Script

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Society set up a tidy little life script we’re all supposed to follow – but we don’t have to. 

Here’s why you should ditch the life script and live life on your own terms

Avoid Hobosexuals

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Some men are only looking for a free ride. They date woman so they have free housing and don’t have to lift a finger to help.

Here are some red flags that the guy you’re dating doesn’t want you, he wants to live comfortably off your hard work

Giant Waving Red Flags That Your Relationship is Toxic

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It’s hard to tell that you’re in a toxic relationship when you’re in the thick of it. If any of these red flags sound familiar, you may want to rethink your relationship.