Parenting is a lot of work. Kids need constant attention, and sometimes caring for them all day prevents us from caring for ourselves.
One man left his wife to handle the kids all day on her day off from work, then complained that she dared ask him to share his dinner.
He Worked All Day
fizkes via Shutterstock.com.
The Original Poster (OP) shared that he went to work while his wife stayed home with the kids. His wording made it sound like she works but had the day off.
“My wife did not work today,” he stated, adding that she “has been hanging with the kids all day.”
But Not Really
Although he was away from home all day, he couldn’t claim he “worked all day.” He worked a standard shift, came home briefly to grab his gear, and headed off for three hours of “him time” at the gym.
“I got home from work at 530 and did a turn and burn to jujitsu class,” he shared.
No Solid Dinner Plans
OP insisted that “dinner was not discussed,” meaning he didn’t bother to talk to his wife about his dinner plans.
But he had his plan all day.
He keeps a food log and has pre-written his dinner plans in the journal. He would make a sushi-like dish with canned tuna, rice, and seaweed.
Of course, he didn’t communicate this to his wife.
She’s Bathing the Kids
When OP gets home from his “exhausting” workout, his wife is in the bathroom bathing the kids. He never shared how many kids or their ages, but the fact that they still need help bathing highlights that hanging out with the kids all day likely isn’t the break he makes it out to be.
OP Makes Himself Dinner
Since he’s starving from his workout, he decides to start making his dinner without bothering to check on his wife and kids. She clearly has bathtime handled.
Unfortunately for OP, just as he was about to enjoy his fantastic meal, his wife came out of the bathroom and asked him to share.
She told him that she and the kids had a late lunch and that she hadn’t had dinner yet.
OP Hesitates
OP paused slightly, working the problem over in his head. He absolutely did not want to share, but, to his credit, he realized it would be selfish not to.
“I don’t want to share, but I also acknowledge that hogging down all the food would be selfish,” he explained.
Wife Notices the Pause
She knew exactly what his long pause meant. She told him just to eat it all, but he decided to share anyway after noticing her frustrated tone.
He tried to explain his hesitation and why he didn’t want to share, but she didn’t want to hear his excuses.
Is OP Wrong?
OP came to Reddit to find out if he was wrong for not wanting to share.
“I can’t imagine asking for half of someone’s food as they are just sitting down to eat. But I also can’t imagine not sharing it. I can’t decide how to feel,” he says, seeking Reddit’s input.
Dude – Step Up!
Pixel-Shot via Shutterstock.com.
Reddit can’t believe OP doesn’t see how he’s wrong. It’s frustrating to share after expecting to enjoy the whole meal, but OP refuses to acknowledge his wife’s hard work.
He enjoyed three hours of “him time” while she wrangled the kids for 12 hours. He didn’t even consider her needs concerning dinner, only thinking of himself.
“He just assumed her day caring for children wasn’t work, went and entertained himself with his hobbies, and then made his own dinner,” said one user, highlighting how self-centered OP’s actions were.
OP, you’re a husband and a father. You’re no longer the only important thing in your life. Make more effort to communicate with your wife and parent your children.
A Common Problem
OP’s story highlights an all too common problem. Men in relationships with children skate by on their partner’s labor without a care in the world. He doesn’t have to think about anyone else, because she has it covered.
But who is thinking about her? She must take care of the house, the kids, (probably him) and herself. He doesn’t even care enough to ask her about dinner; he simply ignores her existence and expects her to handle everything.
We give OP credit in realizing how selfish his initial thought was, that’s a crucial first step to seeing the unfair division of labor. Hopefully, he takes the internet’s comments to heart and examines his behavior, stepping up to be the father and husband his wife and kids deserve.