Parenting is a tough gig.
After nine months of waiting, a fresh newborn baby is thrust into your arms, and you’re supposed to take it home and care for it for 18 years, nurturing and nourishing it, teaching social conventions, and ensuring it becomes a productive member of society.
Parenting Myths
Throughout the centuries, different cultures and societies developed unique rules for parenting. Some claim the “best” way to do this or that, and although modern experts can prove why these myths are wrong, many parents still swear by them.
Here are the 11 biggest parenting myths people need to stop believing for their children’s well-being.
Kids Straighten You Out
People think burdening an out-of-control adult with a child will help “straighten them out.” While sometimes that happens, more often than not, the parent neglects their child, causing even more suffering.
Nobody should have kids if they aren’t ready to parent. We shouldn’t expect a baby to fix an adult’s life.
You’ll Spoil Them
New parents think if they “give in” to their newborn baby’s cries, they’ll spoil them.
While you can spoil toddlers and older kids, you can’t spoil a newborn. They’re (usually) crying because they need something. Ignoring their needs in infancy can create lasting problems.
Avoid Languages
Some folks think exposing young children to foreign languages will confuse them. In reality, its far easier to earn a new language (or multiple languages!) while you’re young and your brain is still developing.
Dad’s Babysitting
One of the most significant cultural myths surrounding parenting is the father’s role (or lack thereof).
Though many modern fathers are stepping up and parenting, the cultural stigma against dads as caretakers remains. Men make fantastic parents when given the opportunity. Society needs to get on board and stop saying that dads are “babysitting” when they’re just raising their kids.
Girls are Harder To Raise
A pervasive and sexist parenting myth tells people that little girls are harder to raise than little boys.
It’s wrong for so many reasons.
Kids are hard to raise regardless of gender. A lot of people think girls are more challenging because they do the work to raise the girls while they leave the boys to their own devices. That doesn’t mean girls are inherently harder, it means we are ignoring boys, and that’s a massive problem.
There’s a “Right” Way
If there’s “proper way” to parent, no one agrees on what that is. You can read five books by five world-class experts, and they’ll all have different advice.
Don’t worry about the right way because there isn’t one. Do your best and adapt your style to the needs of your unique child.
Fear = Love
Far too many men learned toxic attitudes about love, fear, and respect. They think their kids must fear them to respect them, which will somehow equate to love. These dads then wonder why their kids never call.
The best respect is that born out of love.
They Owe You
One of the worst reasons to have kids is to “have someone to take care of you.” You chose to have children. They didn’t choose to be born. They owe you nothing: not time, love, care, commitment, money.
You must develop happy, healthy relationships with your children if you want those things.
No Regret
Not everyone is happy with their decision to have children. Having kids isn’t for everyone, and it’s better to regret not having kids than to regret having them.
You don’t hear about it because traditionally, society berates anyone for daring to say it, and until about 50 years ago, it wasn’t much of a choice. Fortunately, the stigma against childfree folks is lifting, as more and more people decide to opt out of parenthood.
Stay Together for the Kids
Far too many parents stay together “for the sake of the kids,” not realizing that them together makes the kids even more miserable. It’s far better for the kids to see two happy people apart living their best lives than to watch two miserable people treat each other horribly.
When you stay together, they might learn that love looks toxic and end up in similar relationships when they grow up.
Motherly Instincts
People love to tell expectant mothers not to worry about a thing, that their motherly instincts will kick in, and they’ll know what to do. Not everyone has maternal instincts; some folks need more help figuring it out.
We need to stop shaming people for not knowing and offer more support for mothers who need it.
Will You Change Your Mind About a Baby?
Everyone tells childfree people they will change their minds. But is that true? Here’s what to consider if you’re on the fence about parenthood.
Talking About a Baby
Don’t have kids on a whim. Have these crucial conversations without your partner before deciding you’re ready for a baby.