Many couples struggle to find the right balance of who does what when it comes to household chores. All too often, the bulk of the household responsibility falls to the woman in heterosexual relationships, and these ladies can’t always see how unfair it is.
One woman came to Reddit wondering if she was wrong because she didn’t put the groceries away, even though that’s typically her responsibility.
She’s Not Feeling Well
The Original Poster (OP) began by saying she and her husband were sick with COVID. He was on the upswing while she was starting to feel worse.
She asked her husband to make some soup, but he decided he’d rather order pre-made soups from the grocery store and have them delivered.
OP Still Taking Care of the House
While he was ordering, she decided to clean the kitchen, worried that she’d feel too ill to do it the next day (and never considering that her husband, who was starting to feel better, could do it.)
Her husband did his own thing without even consulting her.
“He completed the order while I was in the kitchen, so I never got a chance to add items or even see what was in it,” she said, not seeing the lack of consideration.
She Takes a Bath and Falls Asleep
After completing the kitchen, OP was feeling worse, so she decided to take a bath. She ultimately fell asleep.
“I (fell) asleep in the tub at some point, and then when I woke up, I crawled straight into bed,” she explained.
Most people would understand needing rest while dealing with an illness, but OP’s husband was taken aback.
Why Didn’t You Put the Groceries Away?
She got a few precious hours of sleep before being awoken by her lazy husband.
“A couple hours later, he woke me up upset that I had never come out to put away the groceries,” she shared, adding that he was now upset because half the stuff he ordered was ruined, as it was frozen goods that were sitting out for hours.
“He said he thought I heard the doorbell and would know he put the food in the kitchen for me before going back to his video game,” she explained.
OP didn’t hear the doorbell ring, as she was sick, and it never occurred to her that her fully grown adult husband wouldn’t put the food away.
She Usually Does It
OP shared that she usually puts the groceries away.
“Normally, I do the shopping and cooking, so I prefer to put away the ingredients in their designated places myself instead of having to hunt for them later if he helps,” she admitted. But she added that they never buy frozen food, so those items don’t have a designated spot.
Is OP Wrong?
Her husband scolded her for the ruined food and has OP wondering if she was in the wrong. She came to Reddit to find out if it was her fault the food was wasted.
Reddit Users Furious on OP’s Behalf
Most users raged at OP’s husband. His selfish laziness caused the wasted food, not OP. And then he had the nerve to be mad at her?
“He didn’t put the frozen food he purchased away after receiving them?” asked one bewildered user. “(He) just set down temperature sensitive food on the counter instead of the freezer made no mention to see if you had a handle on it at that. Just went back to playing video games while you were passed out in the tub literally” they repeated, unable to wrap their head around the selfishness. “I’d be furious if I were you,” they added.
“You are getting sicker, something he is aware of, and he still thought that getting you to the labor was appropriate somehow? Has he ever been considerate at any point in your marriage?” asked another, implying that this situation may be a small part of a much bigger problem.
Husband Doesn’t Even Check on Her
Most users were more upset that OP’s husband never thought to check on her than they were about the ruined food situation.
“I would be concerned that you went to go take a bath and winded up falling asleep, and he did not think to check on you after you didn’t come out for enough time for the grocery delivery to be shopped and delivered,” said one user.
“I am p*ss*d he knew you were sick and didn’t check on you to make sure you were safe,” stated one user. “You literally passed out in there, that is dangerous, anything could have happened to make you drown.”
Husband Needs To Step Up
Most users agreed the husband was in the wrong. Even if she prefers to put the groceries away, he could have woken her up to let her know they were there. He also could have stepped up and done it, but OP’s statement that she can’t find items when he helps reeks of weaponized incompetence.
“It’s concerning to me that you view him participating as helping you. You should be equal partners,” advised one user.
“He’s a grown man, he put the groceries in the kitchen and then didn’t put them away – what a child!” exclaimed another.
What Do You Think?
Do you agree with Reddit that the husband failed in his adult responsibilities, or do you think OP could have done something differently to not waste the food?
What would you say if you were in OP’s place?
Melanie launched Partners in Fire in 2017 to document her quest for financial independence with a mix of finance, fun, and solving the world’s problems. She’s self educated in personal finance and passionate about fighting systematic problems that prevent others from achieving their own financial goals. She also loves travel, anthropology, gaming and her cats.