You Are Stronger than You Think – Here’s How to Find that Strength

You are stronger than you think.

I know you believe that, because you are here, reading this right now. You only need a little boost to find that strength.

I can help. As a certified life coach, I help people find their inner strength and give them the courage to pursue the life they’ve always wanted.

You Are Stronger than You Think

It starts with believing in yourself. You are strong, brave, and most crucially, capable.

You can handle anything life throws at you.

I believe it, and you must too.

Why You Don’t Believe You’re Strong

I understand why you’re struggling to find your strength. Life is hard, and sometimes has a way of pushing us to our breaking point and beyond.

Here are the four biggest reasons people get trapped in a belief that they aren’t strong enough. 

Someone is Keeping You Down

It’s hard to believe you’re strong when someone in your life constantly calls you weak. These abusers are intentionally preventing you from seeing your strength because they know they’ll lose power over you if you find it.

If someone in your life constantly berates you or tells you that you aren’t good, strong, kind, smart, or capable enough, remember what they’re really saying: “I NEED you to be weak so I can keep controlling you.”

You’re not weak. You’re capable.

Sometimes you need to cut the toxic person out of your life to see it. That might mean going no contact with a parent, or ending a relationship, but believe me, you will be far happier in the long run.

You’ve Failed Before

When you try something and fail, it’s easy to internalize the message that you’re simply bad at the thing.

But that’s not true.

Nobody is good at anything when they first start. Very few of us are born with special talents, instead, we cultivate them. We get better at painting, writing, and sticking to our workout routine as we learn and grow.

The same is true for everything, from learning your job to leaving abusive relationships. It takes an average of 7 attempts for women to leave their abusers. That’s not because these women aren’t strong; it’s because leaving is HARD.

It’s okay to fail at something that’s hard. That doesn’t make you weak. Trying in the first place makes you strong. Sometimes you have to try a little harder, or in a different way, to succeed, but if you put your mind to it, you will get there.

No matter what the situation or how many times you’ve failed in the past, you are stronger than you think, and you are capable of overcoming anything.

Being Strong Hurts

Being strong can be painful, and those uncomfortable feelings can trick us into giving up or thinking we’re weak.

Why would it hurt so badly if you were strong enough to see this through?

The thought is your mind’s way of coping with the hurt, but it doesn’t mean you’re not strong.

Being strong doesn’t mean you don’t feel. Being strong means feeling the worst possible pain imaginable, yet pushing through despite it.

You’re Scared

Fear holds us back. We get frozen in the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response and can’t seem to break out and do what we need to do.

Any change is scary, and it’s much easier to freeze, doing nothing to fix your situation. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t strong. You just have to find a way to overcome your fears.

That doesn’t mean the fears go away. As Nelson Mandela famously said:

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” 

You can be strong even if you’re scared. In fact, facing fear yet acting anyway is what MAKES you strong. 

How to Find that Strength

You’re stronger than you think, but sometimes you need help finding your strength.

We can help. Here are ten tips for recognizing what you’re capable of.

Seek Help

A therapist, life coach, or even trusted friend can help you see your strength. Talk with people you trust. Share your struggles, and let them guide you towards your strengths.

The person you talk to may vary depending on the situation. You may need a therapist to help you navigate trauma and find resilience, a friend to help you see you deserve better in a relationship, or a life coach to help you find your strengths as they relate to your values.

Whichever you choose the help they provide can be invaluable.

Journal

Journaling helps you reflect. Use it to find your strength. Write about what being strong means to you, and what you can do to achieve it.

Try writing daily affirmations, reminding yourself about how strong you really are. Start with something simple, like “I am capable,” and expand upon it to affirm that you can overcome the challenge you’re currently facing.

The act of writing things down helps drill the message that you are strong and capable into your subconscious. Soon you will believe it.

Give Yourself Grace

Nobody is perfect, so stop expecting yourself to be. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Give yourself the same grace and respect you would give your best friend.

When you learn to stop beating yourself up over small mistakes, it gets easier to get up, brush yourself off, and try again. But it starts with being kinder to yourself.

Meditate

Mediation can help us uncover and overcome our limiting beliefs, like thinking we’re not strong.

Take 30 minutes and focus intently on the problem. Why don’t you think you’re strong? What is holding you back? What would you want to accomplish if you thought you could?

Now that you’ve identified the negative attitudes holding you back, you can deal with them rationally, and you’ll likely realize most of them weren’t based in fact.

Take Care of Yourself

Self-care is a crucial component of finding your inner strength. It’s impossible to feel strong if you don’t take care of yourself, body, mind, and soul.

Make time for yourself. Take a bath, read a book, or go for a walk alone.

Lean into a healthy lifestyle by making better food choices, moving more, sleeping more, and drinking enough water. When you feel healthy and well-rested, you’ll find your strength.

Get a Mentor

If you’re feeling weak at work, consider working with a mentor.

They can help you cultivate the skills you need for success or identify career paths that work with the skills you already have.

Mentorship can also help you find strength in your personal life. The Alcoholics Anonymous program (and most related addiction/recovery programs) all use mentorship as a key component to recovery. Each new member is assigned a sponsor who helps them navigate difficult situations.

Reflect on the Past

Have you ever overcome a challenge in the past? You probably have – you’ve probably overcome thousands of challenges in your life.

Reflect on those accomplishments. Cherish them. Remember how hard you worked to achieve the goal, how you weren’t sure you could do it, and how great you felt when you did.

You were strong enough to achieve all those things, and you’re still the same person. You’re still strong enough.

Develop Mental Resilience

What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. Although the platitude leaves a lot to be desired, there’s some truth to it.

The more challenges we face, the more easily we’ll be able to navigate challenges.

To develop mental resilience, challenge yourself more. Step outside your comfort zone and do things that scare you. If you’re antisocial, talk to a stranger. If you fear heights, hike to the top of a cliff.

The more you face your fears, the more you’ll realize that fear was the only thing holding you back. Soon, you’ll be able to handle anything life throws at you.

Focus on What You Can Control

The idea that you’re not strong may come from your obsession with changing someone else. You’re stronger than you think; you’re just focusing your energy on the wrong things, and it’s making you feel weak.

You can only control your own emotions, actions, and life; you can’t control how someone else will behave. 

The most valuable lesson I learned in therapy was that I’m not responsible for other people’s reactions. I don’t make them yell, make them angry, or make them hit the wall – they choose to behave that way.

When I stopped trying to fit inside the mold that would prevent these outbursts, I found my strength.

Cultivate a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset helps us realize the world of possibility surrounding us. It makes everything possible.

In contrast, a fixed mindset keeps us trapped in a tiny world where we can never get better.

The good news is you can cultivate a growth mindset. You can start seeing opportunity in failure, strength in weakness, and possibility in your life.

Embrace Your Strength

You are stronger than you think, and I hope with our tips, you can learn to embrace your strength. I know it’s easier said than done, but you’re here, so you obviously haven’t broken yet.

You’re strong. You’re capable. And you’re about to show the world what you can do.

You’ve got this. I believe in you.