America’s political divide grows ever larger. At one point in the not-too-distant past, folks could have political disagreements while remaining friends and even lovers.
Unfortunately, that’s no longer the case, as political ideals now provide an in-depth view of people’s morals and values.
Women Don’t Want To Date Conservatives
Nowhere is this more apparent than in the world of online dating, where more and more women refuse to date conservative men. Women’s preference for liberal men led to a terrifying trend on dating apps: Wokefishing.
With Wokefishing, men pretend to hold liberal views to score dates with women who’d reject them for their true political leanings. The believe that if they can play the game long enough, the woman will like him enough to accept his politics, and maybe she’ll even change herself.
Men looking for anything more than casual are bound for disappointment, as women have no problem ending a relationship over what they consider incompatible beliefs.
Ending Marriage Over Politics
Some women will even end marriages over political views. One woman came to Reddit seeking advice on ending a 15-year marriage due to her husband’s descent into political conservatism.
The Original Poster (OP) shared that her husband has been radicalized. He was against Trump in 2016 but drank the Coolaid and is anti-vaccine, pro-Tucker Carlson, and dismissive of his wife’s political views.
He tells her, “The only reason I dislike Trump is because of propaganda,” although she’s always been politically engaged. She says, “For the first time in 15 years, I feel like our morals/beliefs are too diverged.”
Is Divorce the Answer?
OP doesn’t want to throw 15 years of marriage down the drain, but she believes her husband has morphed into someone unrecognizable. However, she can’t get over the old refrain that people can love each other despite politics, even though that was back when “politics” was about how to spend tax money, not whether women are people.
“Can a marriage be saved when ideals are so different?” she asks. “ I am sick at the thought of throwing away the life we’ve built together. But I’m equally sick at the thought of being with someone who doesn’t consider misogyny and bigotry deal breakers,” she adds.
Political Beliefs Reflect Personal Beliefs
Any reason is a good reason for divorce. If you don’t want to be with someone anymore, you shouldn’t stay.
Political differences are an even better reason for ending a relationship, as political beliefs tend to reflect core values and ideals.
They Aren’t Actually “Political” Differences
Though the right wing tries to frame many issues as political, the truth is these differences are anything but.
A discussion on whether science is real isn’t “political.” Arguing over whether certain people deserve human rights isn’t “political.”
These “opinions” reflect something far more profound.
“These aren’t political differences, they’re massive moral failings on his part,” said one user. “His glaring character flaws are literally dangerous to the people around him.”
“Misogyny and racism are not political opinions,” added another. “They are (dangerous) prejudices. Is one of your children a daughter? Is your husband safe to be around her, with his opinions?” they asked.
Many users told OP the man she married is gone. He went down the fascist rabbit hole, and there’s little chance of the man she once loved ever reappearing.
“Eject, eject, you’ve lost your husband!” exclaimed one user.
OP Isn’t The First, and Won’t Be the Last
The toxic political climate destroyed many marriages. Many women refuse to remain tied to men who espouse views claiming they aren’t people. Women want autonomy, respect, and equality, while these men want to thrust them into lives of domestic servitude.
Walk away wife system is only a minor symptom of the bigger problem. As men dig their heels in and become more radicalized, women decide they’re better off alone.
For the men, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Their hatred for women seeps into everything, and the women who see it don’t want anything to do with them, thus making them hate women even more.
How To Change It?
It’s nearly impossible to deradicalize people who have fallen into the rabbit hole. The most important thing society can do is raise their boys to be better.
Stop with the boys-will-be-boys attitude. Teach boys to regulate themselves like girls are expected to control themselves. Teach children consent, teamwork, collaboration, and empathy.
Our society will improve if we stop teaching young boys that they’re better than women and entitled to a woman’s free labor.
Melanie launched Partners in Fire in 2017 to document her quest for financial independence with a mix of finance, fun, and solving the world’s problems. She’s self educated in personal finance and passionate about fighting systematic problems that prevent others from achieving their own financial goals. She also loves travel, anthropology, gaming and her cats.