The decision to have a baby is the most crucial in your life. Unfortunately, some people take the choice lightly, opting for a baby for the most ridiculous (and sometimes abusive!) reasons.
Don’t have a baby if the following play into your reasoning.
Don’t have a baby because your best friend (or frenemy) recently had one. That’s a recipe for disaster.
Far too many people exploit their kids for internet fame and a few bucks. Please don’t have children so you can start a family youtube about parenting.
You’re parents may desperately want grandchildren, but you’re under no obligation to give it to them. You’ll be responsible for the child’s health, welfare, and daily care while your parents get the perfect Kodak moments.
Everyone’s Doing It
Some people don’t realize having kids is optional. It’s just what you do.
But it doesn’t have to be. Remember what your parents said: “If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?” Probably not, so peer pressure isn’t the best reason to have kids.
To Save a Relationship
Why is having a kid to save a relationship still so common? Has it ever worked in the history of humanity, or did it just tie two people together forever who have no business being together?
To Heal Trauma
Messed-up people think having kids will magically heal their trauma. They had horrendous, abusive childhoods but believe it can all be erased if they have kids and do better by their kids.
More often than not, they’re just perpetuating a cycle of abuse, despite their best intentions.
Some parents have children so that they can sell them or exploit them. Little girls worldwide are forced into domestic and sexual servitude via child marriage, all with their parent’s approval.
To Take Care of Disabled Siblings
If your first child is disabled, don’t have a second child to give the disabled child a future caretaker. It’s your responsibility to arrange care for your child when you pass, don’t push it off to another kid.
To be clear, no one is saying it’s wrong to have more children when your first is disabled. It’s only wrong if the sole purpose of having another child is to force that child into a caretaking role.
Remember the movie My Sister’s Keeper, where they had another child hoping it would be a doner match? That’s a gross reason to have a child.
For Your Partner
Having a child is a two “yes” one “no” situation. Never have a child to please a partner who wants one. If one of you wants children and the other doesn’t separate so you can both live the life you want.
Having a child because you’re partner wants one will only lead to resentment, especially if the partner who doesn’t want the child is a woman, who will, more likely than not, get stuck with the massive burden of childrearing.
To Live Through Them
You may have wanted to be a varsity football player and attend university as the star quarterback. Unfortunately, life held you back, and you couldn’t achieve the dream. Far too many people see their children as their “second chance” to achieve their goals.
No, just no. A child is an individualized human with their own hopes and dreams. Don’t have one and force them to live yours – support them in pursuing their own!
To Further Your Agenda
Many people have kids to keep their outdated traditions alive. They refuse to let their kids learn about the real world, brainwashing them into their specific cult and forcing them to carry on the agenda.
Children deserve human rights. They deserve access to education and healthcare, despite what their parents believe. Having kids only to force them into an abusive cult and never allowing them to actualize into fully-fledged humans with their autonomy is evil.
Most people cite legacy as a reason for having kids. But why? It made sense for kings looking to maintain their kingdoms for centuries to come, but what legacy does Joe Shmoe have, and why is passing that legacy down so important?
To Take Care Of You
“But who will take care of you when you’re older?” asks the crowd, astounded that you don’t want to have kids so you have someone to leech off of in your senior years. You cannot guarantee that your children will care for you when you’re older. The fat pile of money you can accumulate while not raising kids is a surer bet.
Reasons Not To Have Kids
Despite all the pressure to procreate, it’s perfectly valid not to want kids. Millennials and younger generations are opting out of parenthood at record rates.
Here are their top reasons for not wanting kids.
Will You Change Your Mind About a Baby?
Everyone tells childfree people they will change their minds. But is that true? Here’s what to consider if you’re on the fence about parenthood.
Talking About a Baby
Don’t have kids on a whim. Have these crucial conversations without your partner before deciding you’re ready for a baby.
Are You Ready for a Baby?
Think you’re ready for a baby? Consider these 15 points first.
Valid Reasons to Have a Baby
Many may scoff at all the above-listed “bad” reasons to have kids. Some of them are the most common reasons folks have kids! If these are bad, what’s not?
There are very few “good” reasons to have kids. You should only have them if you genuinely want to raise the next generation into productive members of society. Have children if you accept they will be people with their interests, ideas, personalities, and flaws. Embrace parenthood if you’re full of love and want to share that love with the world of the future.
Melanie launched Partners in Fire in 2017 to document her quest for financial independence with a mix of finance, fun, and solving the world’s problems. She’s self educated in personal finance and passionate about fighting systematic problems that prevent others from achieving their own financial goals. She also loves travel, anthropology, gaming and her cats.