We’re Begging You: Please Don’t Have a Baby for Any of these Awful Reasons

The decision to have a baby is the most crucial in your life. Unfortunately, some people take the choice lightly, opting for a baby for the most ridiculous (and sometimes abusive!) reasons. 

Don’t have a baby if the following play into your reasoning. 

Competition

Women standing back to back.
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Don’t have a baby because your best friend (or frenemy) recently had one. That’s a recipe for disaster. 

Content Creation

Someone filming a young child with their phone.
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Far too many people exploit their kids for internet fame and a few bucks. Please don’t have children so you can start a family youtube about parenting. 

Parental Pressure

older woman yelling at an upset younger woman
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You’re parents may desperately want grandchildren, but you’re under no obligation to give it to them. You’ll be responsible for the child’s health, welfare, and daily care while your parents get the perfect Kodak moments. 

Everyone’s Doing It

Three moms sitting on a couch holding their babies.
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Some people don’t realize having kids is optional. It’s just what you do. 

But it doesn’t have to be. Remember what your parents said: “If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?” Probably not, so peer pressure isn’t the best reason to have kids. 

To Save a Relationship

A coupld sits on opposite ends of a couch looking way from each other.
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Why is having a kid to save a relationship still so common? Has it ever worked in the history of humanity, or did it just tie two people together forever who have no business being together?

To Heal Trauma

Sad woman on a couch looking unsure of herself
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Messed-up people think having kids will magically heal their trauma. They had horrendous, abusive childhoods but believe it can all be erased if they have kids and do better by their kids. 

More often than not, they’re just perpetuating a cycle of abuse, despite their best intentions. 

Selling/Exploitation

Nervous child with a microphone in her face at a beauty pageant.
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Some parents have children so that they can sell them or exploit them. Little girls worldwide are forced into domestic and sexual servitude via child marriage, all with their parent’s approval. 

To Take Care of Disabled Siblings

Two kids playing in the grass. The sister pushes her disabled brother's wheelchair.
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If your first child is disabled, don’t have a second child to give the disabled child a future caretaker. It’s your responsibility to arrange care for your child when you pass, don’t push it off to another kid. 

To be clear, no one is saying it’s wrong to have more children when your first is disabled. It’s only wrong if the sole purpose of having another child is to force that child into a caretaking role. 

Spare Parts

A person in a sterile hospital bed on life support surrounded by machines.
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Remember the movie My Sister’s Keeper, where they had another child hoping it would be a doner match? That’s a gross reason to have a child. 

For Your Partner

stressed mom with two young kids
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Having a child is a two “yes” one “no” situation. Never have a child to please a partner who wants one. If one of you wants children and the other doesn’t separate so you can both live the life you want. 

Having a child because you’re partner wants one will only lead to resentment, especially if the partner who doesn’t want the child is a woman, who will, more likely than not, get stuck with the massive burden of childrearing. 

To Live Through Them

mom and daughter wearing matching heart shaped sunglasses and little crowns.
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You may have wanted to be a varsity football player and attend university as the star quarterback. Unfortunately, life held you back, and you couldn’t achieve the dream. Far too many people see their children as their “second chance” to achieve their goals. 

No, just no. A child is an individualized human with their own hopes and dreams. Don’t have one and force them to live yours – support them in pursuing their own!

To Further Your Agenda

A group of five menacing looking hooded figures in greyscale.
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Many people have kids to keep their outdated traditions alive. They refuse to let their kids learn about the real world, brainwashing them into their specific cult and forcing them to carry on the agenda. 

Children deserve human rights. They deserve access to education and healthcare, despite what their parents believe. Having kids only to force them into an abusive cult and never allowing them to actualize into fully-fledged humans with their autonomy is evil. 

Legacy

Proud looking selfish man wearing a crown looking down on others.
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Most people cite legacy as a reason for having kids. But why? It made sense for kings looking to maintain their kingdoms for centuries to come, but what legacy does Joe Shmoe have, and why is passing that legacy down so important?

To Take Care Of You

Senior woman sits alone in a room staring out the window.
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“But who will take care of you when you’re older?” asks the crowd, astounded that you don’t want to have kids so you have someone to leech off of in your senior years. You cannot guarantee that your children will care for you when you’re older. The fat pile of money you can accumulate while not raising kids is a surer bet. 

People Don’t Want Kids

Woman crossing her arms in a refusal gesture.
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Despite all the pressure to procreate, it’s perfectly valid not to want kids. Millennials and younger generations are opting out of parenthood at record rates. 

Here are their top reasons for not wanting kids

Will You Change Your Mind About a Baby?

Sleeping infant wrapped in light blue bear blanket on a blue grey background.
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Everyone tells childfree people they will change their minds. But is that true? Here’s what to consider if you’re on the fence about parenthood

Valid Reasons to Have a Baby

Happy mom lifting her infant in a field.
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Many may scoff at all the above-listed “bad” reasons to have kids. Some of them are the most common reasons folks have kids! If these are bad, what’s not?

There are very few “good” reasons to have kids. You should only have them if you genuinely want to raise the next generation into productive members of society.

Have children if you accept they will be people with their interests, ideas, personalities, and flaws. Embrace parenthood if you’re full of love and want to share that love with the world of the future. 

Source: Reddit

Author: Melanie Allen

Title: Journalist

Expertise: Pursuing Your Passions, Travel, Wellness, Hobbies, Finance, Gaming, Happiness

Melanie Allen is an American journalist and happiness expert. She has bylines on MSN, the AP News Wire, Wealth of Geeks, Media Decision, and numerous media outlets across the nation and is a certified happiness life coach. She covers a wide range of topics centered around self-actualization and the quest for a fulfilling life.