Is Your Relationship Toxic? Flee if You Notice Any of These Red Flags!

When you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, red flags look like normal flags. It’s hard to take the love goggles off and view your relationship from an outside perspective. 

Toxic Relationships

man and woman sitting awkwardly together on a couch.
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We often fall into toxic, harmful relationships and don’t notice the unhealthy dynamic. 

While scrolling through a popular internet community, I came across a thread asking users to share the blaring warnings that a relationship is toxic. 

You may want to reconsider your relationship if any of these bright flags are waving. 

Obsessive Check-ins

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It’s healthy to occasionally check in with your partner, especially if you’re staying somewhere late, traveling, or stopping to pick stuff up. 

My 57-year-old colleague constantly has to send videos and pics of him working to his wife,” shared one user. 

Asking for constant updates on whereabouts and activities is controlling and showcases a massive lack of trust in the relationship. 

They Always Win

couple sitting at a table. Man looks happy, woman looks bored.
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Relationships are about compromise. In a healthy dynamic, partners will listen to each other and give in a little on certain things to make each other happy. 

Some relationships don’t work that way, and one partner will steamroll the other, constantly getting what they want despite any objections the other has. 


A slightly shocked, slightly angry woman has her hand up in disbelief.
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A little jealousy is fine, we’re all human and we all have emotions. Acting out on jealousy by checking texts and balking any time your partner mentions the opposite sex is a problem. 

Inability to Listen

man sticking a finger in each ear so he doesn't have to listen.
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Communication is challenging but vital in a relationship. We often forget that communication is about listening just as much as it’s about talking. 


woman wearing pink sweater on a blue bacground screaming in rage.
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Some folks will pretend they want open communication, but they really want their partner to listen to everything they want and never raise any complaints. While stressing that they want communication, they’ll start a fight whenever you bring something up. 

One user said it’s a red flag if “every time you bring anything up, they get mad and start an argument.”

Fighting Means Passion

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Television gave us a highly unhealthy view of relationships. Even the iconic hero Buffy from the hit 90s series Buffy the Vampire Slayer equated love with fights and drama. 

Although Buffy was trying to subvert the trope and showcase how messed up it is, it’s all too commonly portrayed as “true love” in mainstream media, and people internalize it. 

Constantly Breaking Up

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If a relationship is meant to be, you wouldn’t constantly break up and get back together. The inability to solve your problems without resorting to breaking up is a glaring red flag that something isn’t right in the relationship. 

Bad Mouthing

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Why would you bad-mouth someone you profess to love to all your friends, family, and colleagues when they’re not around?

“’I’ve listened to so many people complain about their partners, and I just wonder: WHY are y’all together!? If I get a chance to talk about my bf, you can bet I’ll start dishing out everything I love about him,” said one user. 

No Life

man at work looks really bored and unhappy
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It can be hard to identify controlling behavior early in a relationship. It’s like a frog in boiling water, it gets slowly hotter, and you don’t realize you’re cooking until it’s too late. 

A partner who questions your friends and hobbies and works to prevent you from having any type of life outside them is a huge red flag. You’ll eventually find yourself with no friends, no hobbies, and no life, which makes it even easier for them to control you. 

Calling You Controlling Because They Wont Contribute

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Responsibilities should come first. All too often, one partner ditches all their responsibilities and calls the other “controlling” when they’re expected to contribute to the household. 

“A partner that complains you spend too much time playing video games when you are just dating and don’t even live together is probably being controlling. A partner that complains you spend too much time playing video games when you’ve got three kids together might actually be saying that they feel the labor distribution in your house is unfair,” clarified one user. 

Inability To React

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If you find yourselves walking on eggshells, unable to say anything or defend yourself against inappropriate behavior, you may be in a toxic relationship. 


Popular meme with man obvioulsy checking out a woman as she passes by while his girlfriend looks at him in anger.
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Some people treat their partners like objects. If they’re constantly checking out others, refuse to engage with you, or act like they’re entitled to your time and attention, you might be in a toxic relationship. 

Unequal Effort

man on couch with beer, chips, and tv remote who looks lazy
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They say relationships should be 50/50, but sometimes one partner finds themselves giving 100% constantly while their partner only takes. 

You might be in a relationship with a user if you bring the paycheck home while doing all the emotional, mental, and domestic labor. They don’t love you; they love that you take care of them. 

He Lies About Political Beliefs

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If he lies about his political beliefs to score a date, what else will he lie about? Find out why men lie about politics and why women refuse to date them

They’re Financially Abusive

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Financial abuse is all too common, but often kept quiet because people don’t realize they’re being abused. Learn the signs of financial abuse to protect your loved ones

Stay Happy – Avoid Relationships All Together

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You don’t have to get married and have kids to be happy. The life script isn’t for everyone. Here’s why you should ditch it and do your own thing

Is This Relationship Toxic? She Can Afford the Bills on Her Own, Yet Doesn’t Want her Husband to Quit His Job

woman crossing arms like she won't do it again
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He wants to stop working, she doesn’t think that would be fair. What do you think

This Relationship Screams Financial Abuse: He Makes 3X Her Salary and Expects an Equal Financial Split

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Who pays what is a point of contention in many relationships. One man came to Reddit to see if he was wrong for expecting his girlfriend to split the bills equally when he makes three times her salary. 

Find out what happened here!

Source: Reddit