Childfree adults are on the rise. Young people across the nation are waking up to the trials and tribulations of parenthood, and deciding against it.
More and more young people are looking at the struggles of parenthood and deciding it’s not for them.
While some see population declines as a massive societal problem, at the individual level, the reasons against having kids are starting to outweigh the reasons to become a parent.
Discover the top reasons why Millennials don’t want kids.
They Raised Their Siblings
Parentified millennials and Gen Z already got the parenthood experience. They were forced to raise their siblings.
“I already had my kid. He’s called my little brother,” said one Redditor, explaining why they don’t want children. The user was ten years old when their sibling came along, and was responsible for babysitting, changing diapers, and attending to their little brother’s needs.
Young people sacrifice their childhoods to raise their siblings, they don’t want to sacrifice their adulthood to raise kids of their own.
Fear of Special Needs
It’s difficult to discuss the fear of having a child with severe special needs, as it leans into complex moral and ethical questions.
However, despite everyone’s right to life and happiness, we can’t discount the hardship that having a severely disabled child could have on a family’s lifestyle and finances. Not everyone is capable of caring for someone with special needs, and we need to acknowledge that.
Some young adults decided against having kids of their own because they know they can’t provide that care.
“One fear I’ve had is a special needs kid that would require constant care for the rest of my life,” said one user. Others agreed, wondering who would look after their child once they were gone if they needed lifelong care.
Many commenters validated the initial posters, saying many people don’t consider the long-term effects of caring for a severely disabled child.
“People don’t talk about this enough,” claimed one. I’m already on the fence about having a “ healthy” kid. If you aren’t prepared to take care of a special needs child, then you shouldn’t be having a child at all,” they added.
Life-Long Commitment
Even healthy children are a lifelong commitment. Some users admitted they couldn’t handle it.
“I don’t think I’m capable of handling that. I like kids, but I don’t think I could raise one well, so I’m not going to try,” said one user, giving an honest assessment of their abilities.
Some of us wish our parents had thought this through.
Mental Health Issues
Part of being an adult is knowing your limitations. Millennials and Gen Z spend more time on self-reflection than other generations, and they’ve realized they don’t want to repeat the cycles of abuse they’ve experienced due to mental illness.
“I struggle with anxiety and anger issues and I wouldn’t want to pass that on to my child or have them have to grow up dealing with my anxieties and anger episodes,” said one user.
“I have an explosive temper that is scary, and though therapy has helped, I never want to be in a place where it surfaces because of frustration and completely mess that kid up for life,” added another.
Freedom
When you have kids, your life is no longer about you. You can’t pick up and travel whenever you want or quit the job you hate without a backup plan. You must consider how your actions affect your children and your ability to care for them.
“I enjoy freedom, I enjoy my relationship exactly as it is,” said one user.
For the first time in history, families can decide if and when they want children. They have the opportunity to live their lives as they see fit before becoming parents, and many realize they don’t want to gamble on the massive life change.
Money
It costs nearly $300,000 to raise a child into adulthood. They need food, clothing, a place to live, and constant care for the first 10 years of their lives.
Some people explore their options and decide they’d be happier with the money.
“Having a kid will delay retirement by 5 years, so as someone who hates working…” said one user, implying that kids would put a huge damper on their retirement plans.
Sleep
“Want to sleep? Too bad your kid just threw up, and you need to take care of them in the middle of the night,” commented one user while discussing the lack of sleep parents face.
Babies need feedings throughout the night, preventing parents from getting a good night’s sleep for at least the first year of life, if not longer.
Fear of Pregnancy
Pregnancy is often paraded as magical, but many women aren’t here for it. Pregnancy is a serious medical condition rife with complications that can lead to permanent disability and even death. Millennials don’t want kids because they don’t want to suffer the physical consequences of pregnancy and childbirth.
“The actual horrors a woman can and very likely will go through is nightmare fuel. I wanted kids until I did a deep dive into pregnancy and labor. Unlocked a new phobia and went childfree. No thank you,” commented one user.
With more and more states restricting access to vital medical care for pregnant people, it’s no small wonder women are deciding against it. Why risk their lives?
No Reason TO Have Them
All kids should be wanted. People shouldn’t have kids just to do it; they should have kids because they genuinely want to help raise the next generation of humans.
“Personally, I can’t think of a single compelling reason to have them. Kids deserve a parent who wants them, not someone who just tolerates them.” offered one user.
In the past, most people had kids because they had no choice, or because “That’s what you’re supposed to do.” Now, we have a choice, and many of us realize there’s no compelling reason to become a parent.
It Sounds Terrible
“I get that it is the social default, but in a vacuum it sounds terrible,” said one user. “I never feel like I have enough time to do the things I want to do. Why would I want to give up on my free time entirely to raise a kid? Children are fine in small doses, but they are exhausting, stressful and the benefits seem minimal. I guess the biological drive skipped me,” they added.
Others agreed, saying there’s no real reason to have children that isn’t selfish.
Can’t Support Them
Many people choose to remain child-free because the current economic environment makes raising children nearly impossible. It’s not that they wouldn’t want to spend the money, it’s that they don’t have the money to spend.
“I don’t make enough to support myself, let alone another dependent human,” complained one user. “My wife and I work 40hrs+ / wk and we can barely afford our 3-bedroom house with 1 dog and feeding ourselves,” added another.
Society wants people to have more kids, but refuses to do anything to alleviate the burden. A lot of people want kids, and would be great parents, but they opt out because they can’t provide.
More and More Millennials Don’t Want Kids
Although doom and gloom news channels decry declining population rates as a negative, having the freedom to choose when and if to become a parent is an overall positive.
Not everyone would make a good parent, and not everyone wants that life. We don’t have to follow the same script to live a happy, successful life.
However, it’s sad that some folks who want to commit and would be wonderful parents literally can’t because our society lacks safety nets to help parents. We have no mandatory parental leave, no mandatory sick time, a cost of living crisis, and horrendous medical care for women. It’s no surprise that people would opt out, given a choice.
What do you think? Did Redditors give valid reasons for choosing not to have children?