Are boys or girls easier to raise?
According to a 2018 Gallup poll, American parents think boys are easier to raise by a whopping 2 to 1 margin. Only 27% said girls are easier to raise, while 54% said boys are easier to raise.
Although the poll is nearly 10 years old, the general feel of parenthood remains consistent. Society tells us girls are harder to raise, and we all buy in.
But is that really true?
Why Are Girls Harder to Raise than Boys?
To determine the truth about which gender is harder to raise, we have to confront the way society approaches gendered parenting.
Girls are harder to raise, but it has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with misogyny.
Discover why raising girls is deemed more challenging, and why we should start treating boys and girls more equally.
Different Expectations of Girls
It’s impossible to truly tell whether boys or girls are easier to raise when we raise them with such different expectations.
Perhaps parents only think girls are harder because they have different expectations for their boys vs their girls.
From a young age, girls are forced to help around the house. They’re responsible for cooking, cleaning, and even helping their brothers with their chores. Older girls are often charged with taking care of their younger siblings.
Boys live life on easy mode. Many aren’t expected to help with chores, and when they do, they’re gendered, like taking out the trash once per week.
Parents Don’t Teach Their Boys Life Skills
Boys may think they have it made, but the parents’ negligence is detrimental in the long run. Boys don’t learn basic life skills, like how to cook or do their laundry.
They grow into adults who can’t function, then latch onto a partner who will handle their chores just like their mom did. Most women don’t want that.
Society Expects Girls To Mature Faster
The idea that girls mature faster comes from the way we socialize girls. We force them to mature faster by holding them to higher standards and expecting them to navigate social situations with grace.
In schools, troubled boys get paired with “good” girls who are expected to help them calm down and complete their work. And if a girl dares complain that it’s hindering her success, she gets derided for “not being helpful.”
We Neglect Boys’ Emotional Needs
Parents don’t care about their little boy’s emotions in the same way they care about their little girls. Boys are left to fend for themselves and express their feelings without their parents’ guidance.
We tell them to “be a man,” and that “boys don’t cry,” instilling the message that they aren’t allowed to feel and express emotions. The gendered message also tells them that there’s something inherently lesser about being emotional or “girly,” which only breeds more misogyny.
Child rearing is much easier when you neglect your child’s emotional growth, which millions of parents do with their little boys.
Boys’ Bad Behavior Excused
“Boys will be boys,” they say, as they let the kids wreak havoc on a community. Nobody disciplines these boys for acting up. Meanwhile, a girl who behaves the same way receives harsh punishment from everyone, from her parents, teachers, and even peers.
We can’t ask whether boys or girls are easier to raise until we treat bad behavior fairly.
We’re Harder on Girls
“I’m just a girl, and I’d rather not be, ‘cuz they won’t let me drive late at night”
No Doubt had it right way back in the 90s. Parents have more rules for their girls than their boys. They won’t let their girls go out late at night. Girls face stricter curfews and dress codes, more household chores, and higher expectations.
Parenting is more challenging when you actually parent.
Let Boys Run Free
Boys are allowed to run wild. They get to stay out late, doing who knows what, with minimal oversight. Parents don’t worry as much about what their sons are off doing.
Gangs of teenage boy’s roam neighborhoods, getting into all sorts of trouble, and nobody bats an eye.
Pregnancy Disparity
There is one biological reason girls are harder to raise. Teenage boys don’t have to worry about pregnancy. While they can get a girl pregnant, they typically don’t have as dire consequences for pregnancy. A girl’s family deals with the fallout of a teen pregnancy far more than the boy’s.
Of course, part of this is societal. Because boys can’t bear the physical burden of pregnancy, we often give them a pass. We expect her to drop out of school and care for her child, but we don’t want him to ruin his life. Society offers few safety nets for mothers, and doesn’t force fathers to step up in any meaningful way.
Teach Women Safety
Because of the pregnancy disparity, parents drill safety into their teenage daughters. They share lessons on watching their drinks, walking alone at night, and avoiding dangerous situations.
Adolescent boys can also be victims, but parents put on blinders about it and refuse to engage their sons in these conversations.
Not Teaching Boys About Consent
They teach girls consent, but don’t teach it to boys. Boys need to learn how to handle rejection, that “no” doesn’t mean to keep pushing, and how to have a healthy relationship.
Parents neglect these crucial lessons, leaving boys to learn the hard way (if at all). Some parents even encourage their boys to keep trying when rejected, leading to men who think their creepy persistence will eventually pay off.
We’re teaching boys the wrong things about consent, claiming boys are so easy to raise, then wondering why adult men struggle in relationships.
People Don’t Raise Their Sons
It’s impossible to determine whether boys or girls are easier to raise when people don’t actually raise their sons.
Parents neglect little boys’ emotions, refuse to teach them life skills, and let them run free in society.
As a result, we have generations of men who are emotionally stunted and unable to take care of themselves, and society blames them for all their problems.
Are Boys or Girls Easier to Raise?
Children in general are hard to raise. Parenting is a hard, thankless job. Of course, it’s easier when you don’t do it, and unfortunately, society has decided that boys don’t need as much parenting.
That’s the only reason why it seems boys are easier to raise.
To fix it, we must change the way we raise our sons. We must teach them basic life skills and how to handle emotions, hold them accountable for their bad behavior, and instill a sense of responsibility for their lives and actions.
Until we do, girls will be harder to raise, but that has nothing to do with their gender.