People are typically on their best behavior for the first few dates, but some women shared their experiences, proving that’s not the case.
First Date Red Flags
A woman came to a popular women’s community on Reddit to commiserate about awful dating experiences with men. She shared some of the biggest red flags she’s seen early in dating and asked other women to do the same.
You’ll be shocked at some of the outrageous behavior men deem appropriate.
Wear a Skirt
Too many women shared stories where men demanded they wear skirts on a first date. One expressed disdain when the poster declined, insinuating that women must always listen to men.
Men will tell you how they really view women if you give them a chance. One woman shared that her date told her sexual assault is always the women’s fault because “she should just fight back.”
Most people tidy up if they expect company, but some men feel that housework is beneath them, even if they live alone.
One woman was appalled to discover her date’s living conditions the first time she visited his home.
“Clothes and empty delivery containers everywhere. NO SHEETS on his bed. What looked like black mold on the shower wall. A toilet that had never been cleaned. This man was 35 and had a roommate,” she said.
You Owe Me
Some men still believe the insidious notion that if they pay for a woman’s date, the woman owes them sex.
As one woman tried to let her date down gently, he fired back with, “I paid for your movie. I should at least get sex!”
Asking Permission To Speak
The 1800s called, they want this guy’s values back. One woman said a date wanted her to raise her hand to request permission to speak.
When she obviously laughed in his face, he turned to anger and screamed at her for daring to “interrupt” him.
Bringing Props to a First Date
One man thought bringing a bag full of tacky lingerie and bedroom toys to a casual coffee shop first date would be appropriate.
“I handed him back the bag and walked out without a word,” the user shared.
A Terrifying Encounter
One woman shared that a date showed his true colors after she agreed to go to his apartment.
“He pinned me down on his bed and told me he could do anything he wanted to me,” she said.
When a Joke Isn’t a Joke
Jokes about sexual assault aren’t funny, especially when the joke implies your date will assault you.
One woman was appalled when her coffee date joked that his friend’s roofie women like it’s nothing, but it got even worse when he said, “he would’ve done it to me if I hadn’t insisted on buying my own drink.”
Men don’t realize how frightening their anger can be, but a man who gets mad about everything is a giant red flag.
“His inability to handle sudden changes to plans without getting angry-frustrated. He could be seriously scary when he was angry,” one user shared.
There aren’t any rules about who should pay for a date, but nobody should go in expecting the date to pay.
“He waited until the food came to tell me they didn’t have money to pay for not only the date (that they asked me on) but to pay for themselves either,” said one woman, adding that he called her a golddigger when she wouldn’t let him come to her apartment.
Far too many women shared stories of casual and overt racism, which obviously was a complete turn-off.
“He wore a Confederate flag Tshirt to a Mexican restaurant and then made racist comments about the waitstaff the whole time,” shared one horrified woman.
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Melanie launched Partners in Fire in 2017 to document her quest for financial independence with a mix of finance, fun, and solving the world’s problems. She’s self educated in personal finance and passionate about fighting systematic problems that prevent others from achieving their own financial goals. She also loves travel, anthropology, gaming and her cats.