Boring can be relative. Some folks may love spending every waking hour putting together model cars, while others would roll their eyes if even asked to try. It’s okay to love hobbies that others might find boring, but it’s essential to interact with people in a positive way that shows interest in them as well.
While scrolling through my favorite sub of Reddit, R/Askreddit, I came across a thread asking users to describe behaviors that make people boring. You may want to work on your social skills if you regularly do any of these things!
No Bounce Back
Conversations should be back and forth. Boring folks don’t pick up that paddle and return the conversation. “Conversation with a boring person is like throwing ball with no one. Whatever you tell to them just doesn’t bounce back,” explained one user.
However, the user was generous in their response, saying it’s often an incompatibility issue rather than a boring person. “On the other hand,” they added, “you can’t bounce back whatever they throw at you. So, being boring is largely about being incompatible, but also about not interacting.”
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“Not being able to listen. Some people just want to give you a speech instead of have a conversation,” replied one user.
Others agreed. “Some people have the self-control to stay quiet for a few seconds pretending to listen to you, but in reality, they are just waiting for their turn to talk,” responded another user.
People know when you aren’t really listening. If people think you’re a bore, stop talking and listen for a bit.
Boring people find something they enjoy and latch on to it, refusing to show even a remote interest in anything else. One user finds interacting with people like this tedious. “The people I find boring tend to find a thing to base their life around, form an opinion on it, then refuse to change or adjust that opinion no matter what,” they started, adding, “And the fifth time you hear the same ‘hot take,’ it starts to get really, well, boring.
It’s OK to love something so much that you obsess about it. However, you need to realize everyone doesn’t share your obsession, so be open to discovering things other people enjoy too.
Imagine coming up with a fantastic new idea. You’re so excited that you share it with all your friends. Of course, there’s this one guy who completely lacks imagination, so instead of sharing your excitement, he’ll come up with thousands of reasons why it won’t work.
Folks who do this all the time are conversation destroyers. One user said cynical people who lack their own creativity often try to tear others down. People like this may not be boring, but eventually, no one will want to talk to them.
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If you’re so obsessed with your niche interest that you don’t know anything about anything else, you may come across as dull.
“When all of a person’s interests center around a single topic,” replied one user, “you end up with a person who is unable to hold a conversation and therefore be considered boring.”
To be interesting, you must have general knowledge about various topics. Knowing a little bit about many things can help hold a conversation with anyone.
Have you ever talked with someone whose opinions were formed entirely by someone or something else? It’s tedious!
Redditors agreed. One answered, “Have no opinions or thoughts of their own; just chime in with whatever others are saying at the time.” Others agreed, saying the “yes man” is obnoxious.
Although you’re not required to have an opinion on any given topic, you should be able to form your own views on various things with a little critical thinking. Those who can’t seem to form an opinion on anything and only parrot back the opinions of others get boring fast.
Folks who stifle others are usually really boring themselves.
One user ranted about what I like to call “pearl clutchers,” folks who constantly judge others for being themselves even though it doesn’t affect their lives in any way.
“People who discourage weird people from letting their weird side shine, whether subtly or non-subtly. People who pressure anyone who deviates from the norm in any harmless way to hide it. People who try to douse the flame of an eccentric person who is finally happy about something.”
Stop clutching your pearls over someone else’s joy. Instead, try to engage with them and understand how happy the thing you consider “weird” makes them. Remember that not everyone needs to follow the same life script. There are many paths to finding contentment.
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It’s All About You
Even interesting people get stale when they can’t shut up about themselves. Others get bored quickly when you make yourself the topic of every conversation.
“When every conversation somehow ends up about them,” responded one user, while another added, “Even if they are super interesting, that is quite annoying.”
We get it. You’ve had an epic life and have a ton of things to share. But if you want to be a good friend and the life of the party, make sure others are included in the conversation.
“Even the most dull, bland person will light up when they are talking about stuff they love,” responded one user. But if they don’t love anything, there’s nothing to “light up” about.
Others mentioned the lack of passion could be a sign of depression. “I went through a couple years of deep depression and realized near the end that I had become a very boring person,” admitted one.
If you aren’t passionate about anything, don’t despair! You may not have found your passion yet. Keep exploring, and if you need help, check out our fantastic guide on how to find your passion.
Intentional Lack of Experience
People who dig themselves into a cozy little corner of the world and never venture outside of it can get boring.
One Redditor shared that their wife’s family lacks real-world experience, making conversations with them tedious. “They don’t have friends, they haven’t traveled much, and they don’t have any hobbies or interests,” the user said. “They pretty much just watch the news and go to work. And so anytime we get together for some reason, I find myself bored out of my mind. They have nothing to talk about, they don’t have strong opinions on anything, and they have no funny or interesting anecdotes.”
You can’t hide yourself away from the world and expect to be interesting. Life is a treasure, and you should spend time cultivating real-world experiences, going on adventures, meeting new people, and trying new things.
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Stop the Boring Behaviors
What do you think about the behaviors Redditors find boring? Do you agree?
The good news is that if you agree and happen to see yourself in the comment, there’s always room for improvement. Learn some new things, make space for others in conversation, and get a little curious to change your repetition from bore to life of the party. You’ll be glad you did.
Melanie launched Partners in Fire in 2017 to document her quest for financial independence with a mix of finance, fun, and solving the world’s problems. She’s self educated in personal finance and passionate about fighting systematic problems that prevent others from achieving their own financial goals. She also loves travel, anthropology, gaming and her cats.