Did you choose happiness today?
Did you know you could?
Yes – happiness is a choice, no matter your circumstances.
And we will help you choose it every day.
How is Happiness a Choice?
I know you think I’m crazy, but hear me out. I’m a certified happiness life coach. Helping people find happiness is what I do.
And in doing this work, I learned that we have far more control over our happiness than we might think.
Happiness is a choice because we can actively choose things that make us happy.
We can shift our mindsets to focus on growth, develop healthy habits, embrace gratitude, and appreciate all the wonderful joys life brings.
All of that is within our power.
Other Parts of Happiness
It’s not all rainbows and sunshine. Though a large portion of happiness does come from personal choices, some of it is beyond our control.
When we asked experts to define happiness, we discovered that it’s not one thing or idea, but a complex interaction of multiple factors.
And we can’t control them all.
Two happiness factors can make choosing happiness harder (though not impossible).
Genetics
I bet you didn’t think biology would impact happiness – but it does. A 2023 study published in Nature verified that genetics play a role.
The researchers found a link between general happiness and brain structure. But although there was a link, it was only “nominally significant,” which means yes, it has an impact, but it’s not the only thing that matters.
Circumstances
Here’s the big one. Everyone thinks that their circumstances play a vital role in happiness.
People say “I could be happy if not for….”, or “I will be happy once…”
And I do get it.
Circumstances do matter. They say money doesn’t buy happiness, but it’s pretty tough to be happy when you’re constantly worried about how you will put food on the table or pay for gas to get to work.
In fact, circumstances play such a crucial role that our physical needs and security form the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, one of the most famous ideas of how happiness works.
But let’s be real. If you’re reading this, you’re probably at level one. Your basic needs are met.
You might be struggling with level two, but your choices can play a major role in helping you rise above it.
How to Choose Happiness
Happiness is a complex interaction of factors, and only two of them might be “out of our control.”
We’re responsible for the rest.
That means happiness is a choice.
Here’s how to choose it.
Take Care of Yourself
Remember when we said your choices impact level two of Maslow’s hierarchy?
It’s true.
The second level of Maslow’s pyramid is safety & security. Here, you’ve met your physical needs and feel secure that you can continue doing so.
In today’s world, that means stable housing, a job, financial security, health, and wellness.
A lot of that comes down to your choices. Are you budgeting, saving money, keeping your skills relevant, exercising, eating well, staying hydrated, sleeping enough, and doing all the things that come with basic adulthood?
But I Can’t
I get that sometimes circumstances impact our ability to take care of ourselves. A job loss can destroy your financial security. An illness or disability can wreak havoc on your health.
But a lot of the time, the “I can’t” is an excuse.
I have a friend who never has any money. He’s got no retirement savings, and hardly anything for a rainy day. He claims he can’t afford it.
Yet he has $1000+ rims for his car, multiple PlayStation Fives, and two car payments, both north of $700 a month. He could afford to save; he’s choosing not to.
Others choose to give the bare minimum at work, choose instant gratification over long-term success, choose junk food over healthy food, choose to stay up late when they need to get up early, choose, choose, choose.
I’m not saying it’s the wrong choice. Everyone has different goals and priorities. However, I am saying that we need to acknowledge that these are all decisions that could impact your happiness.
So choose wisely.
Gratitude & Appreciation
Do you appreciate all the wonderful things you have in your life, or do you take them for granted?
That’s a choice.
Choosing gratitude and appreciation is akin to choosing happiness. It’s actively reminding yourself of how good you have it.
Every single one of us has ample reason to be grateful. The more you consciously think about those reasons and express gratitude for them, the happier you will be.
Shift Your Mindset
Mindset impacts happiness.
People with a growth mindset see a world of possibility, while those with a fixed mindset only see limits. People with a positive mindset know how to look on the bright side, but if you have a negative mindset, you’ll always find flaws.
Your mindset develops from a wide range of factors, most of which are subconscious. However, you have the power to change your mindset.
The decisions you make today contribute to your mindset.
Active choices towards growth (or positivity, or any mindset you wish to cultivate) can help you change your mindset, which leads to better outcomes and an overall happier life.
Cultivate Relationships
Feeling like you belong is a core component of happiness. It’s so crucial that it forms the third layer of Maslow’s pyramid.
What makes us feel like we belong?
Relationships.
Humans are social creatures. We need each other to survive. We do best in groups and with teams.
If you want to be happy, you must make an active choice to cultivate relationships.
And I’m not talking about romance. Visit with elderly relatives. Call an old friend. Join social hobby groups. Be there for people when they need you. Network with your coworkers.
Be a part of the village that’s so desperately lacking in society.
Seek Improvement
Far too many of us curl up in our cozy little corners and never set a foot outside the safety of our comfort zones.
It might feel safe, but it won’t make you happy.
Happiness comes from achievement. It comes from pride in accomplishment, achieving goals, learning, growing, and becoming better.
And that makes happiness a choice, because you get to decide whether you want to stay locked in comfort or if you want to challenge yourself to be better.
Savor More
The wise master Yoda once said, “All his life has he looked away to the future, the horizon. Never his mind on where he was [pokes Luke]. Hmm? What he was doing”
A lot of us are like this.
We’re so focused on what’s coming next – the future, the next meeting, that bill, whatever it is, that we don’t stop to pay attention to the actual world happening around us.
We don’t stop to savor our coffee, to delight in watching the squirrels run around burying acorns, to smell the flowers, to feel the cool breeze on our skin.
Choosing to savor more precious moments will help you see all the wonderful things you have in your life. They are all reasons to be happy.
Embrace Positivity
Do you see the glass as half empty or half full?
I know it’s tough to embrace positivity when the world keeps raining a thunderstorm of misery on us, but there’s almost always a positive side.
You can choose happiness by choosing to look at that positive side.
I argue with my partner about this all the time. He doesn’t understand why I’m happy after being forced to spend 2+ hours commuting for no reason.
Yes, the commute is miserable. But I still have a job. I like my job. Being in the office has its benefits. I choose to focus on those things rather than the one negative.
Choosing where you focus your attention can be the difference between a happy life and a miserable one.
Find Meaning
Happiness is a complex interplay of multiple variables, but if someone asked me to pick the most important one, I’d have to say meaning.
The happiest people live meaningful lives.
But a lot of people get stuck, thinking they have to do something epic, like cure cancer or build spaceships.
That’s not true. We can find meaning in our families, passions, volunteer work, service to others, building communities, or fulfilling hobbies.
There are multiple ways to live a life of purpose. Explore them and inject more meaning into your life to find happiness.
Be Kind
Misery loves company. We love to spread our anger and hatred to everyone who will listen.
But that’s an active choice. It’s also a harmful choice, keeping us all trapped in an endless state of righteous indignation.
Kindness is also a choice, but one that brings happiness instead.
Help other people. Let someone go first in traffic. Hold the door. Pay a tab. Make it a point to spread kindness everywhere you go.
Being kind provides an instant mood lift. You feel better about yourself because you helped someone in need. In addition, you spread a little happiness to others. If you make it a habit, you will feel that bliss all the time.
Have Fun
Think back to the last time you were truly happy.
You felt carefree, engaged in what you were doing, and like time just flew by because you were…
Having fun.
The happiness that comes with having a good time may seem like a fleeting, external happiness rather than long-term internal happiness, but making it a habit brings long-term happiness.
Do things you enjoy. Go to concerts, play with toys, run around with your dog, and skip in the rain.
Fun comes from engaging in the world around you. Book a trip, climb a mountain, swim in a natural pool, and try new things.
You only live once, so spend your time actually living.
Reject Happiness Thieves
Happiness is a choice we often reject by giving our time and energy to those who seek to destroy it.
These insidious happiness thieves suck the joy out of our lives, and we let them.
Stop doomscrolling on social media, comparing someone’s highlight reel to your life, listening to toxic people who try to tear you down, and limiting yourself.
Acceptance
“May god grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change”
I’m happy despite my two-hour commute because I know I can’t change it. I’ve accepted it and chosen to be happy regardless.
There are thousands of things in life we have no control over. I can’t control people’s opinions, politics, the weather, or what someone else is going to do. So I don’t let those things impact my happiness.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should give up. I still vote, donate, go to rallies, organize, write about social issues, etc. I still try, and you should too.
But trying doesn’t mean you have to wallow in misery about it.
I don’t let the things I can’t change ruin my day. Instead, I do the work I can to effect change, and choose to be happy in my small corner of the world.
How Will You Choose Happiness Today?
Happiness is a choice, and there are lots of ways to choose it. In fact, we asked experts to share their top tips for finding happiness and developed an epic list of ways to be happier every day.
And the vast majority of things on the list are things you have control over. Choices you make. Things you do.
Every decision you make impacts your happiness – so how will you decide to be happy today?