When we’re children, we believe anything is possible. We dream of being astronauts, movie stars, or veterinarians, believing we can do something epic or make a difference in society.
Upon hitting adulthood, reality sets in as life’s biggest dream killers catch up to us, reminding us that following our hearts is an idealistic pursuit not grounded in reality.
Why Don’t People Follow Their Dreams?
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Most of us aren’t lucky enough to land dream jobs or work in industries that align with our passions. Instead, we take jobs we don’t like and, if lucky, have a little free time to do what we love.
But why? Why don’t we follow our hearts and do something we love?
Dream killers get in the way.
Life’s Biggest Dream Killers
Society tells children to follow their dreams, then creates massive obstacles preventing success.
To discover what holds most people back, I scoured the internet, looking for stories of dreams dashed and hopes lost.
The answers, though unsurprising, showcase some of the problems inherent in our current system that prevent people from following their dreams.
No Money
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All over the internet (and through life), the biggest dream killer makes itself known.
People can’t afford to follow their dreams. Soaring inflation and outrageous living costs make it difficult to afford life, let alone pursue dreams outside of basic survival.
“Money would legitimately solve most, if not all, of my problems, including pursuits of my dreams,” responded one user.
“Money,” stated another before sharing their dream. “I’d like to start up a lab, but if I don’t have enough capital, I can’t get any equipment, but if I open a start-up, I’ll need investors, and then people who know nothing of my plans and just want to make money will take control, and then I’m back to where I am now.”
Everywhere you look, it’s the same story. People can’t afford to pursue the education they need to follow their dreams. They can’t afford to stop working their meaningless job, so they have no time to pursue their passions. They have no start-up capital and can’t afford to live if they stop working.
All these financial concerns make it nearly impossible to take a chance on a dream.
No Safety Net
Though lack of money was a top response, if you dig a little deeper, you see it’s not just about the cash on hand. It’s the safety net if things go wrong.
People can’t afford to take a risk because they risk losing it all. Society tells us to follow our hearts, then tells us it’s our own fault we’re poor if it doesn’t work out.
Massive career risks are only for those rich enough to take a chance without destroying their lives. Society makes it impossible for the rest of us.
Fear
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Anxiety holds us back from a lot of things. One user said “fear and anxiety” prevented them from following their dreams.
When prodded, they said they weren’t sure whether they feared success or failure and admitted it was likely both.
Fear of failure is a top fear among Americans. Our society makes failure out to be a horrible, life-destroying thing, but in reality, failure is what helps us learn and grow.
We should embrace failure rather than fear it.
No Passions
One user sadly admitted that they don’t follow their dreams because they don’t have any.
Everyone has something they’re passionate about. It may be hidden in the deepest corners of your subconscious, waiting to awaken, but it’s there.
Check out our guide on finding your passion if you feel aimless.
ADHD
One user shared that their mental illness prevents them from following their dreams. “ADHD paralysis,” they responded.
Another agreed, saying, “ADHD is no joke. Folks who don’t get it make fun of it, but those of us who do…well, we get it.”
ADHD causes executive dysfunction, making it difficult for people to accomplish things they want to achieve. Sometimes our brains simply won’t let us do the things we want to do, despite our best efforts.
Misogyny
Another Redditor said her religious upbringing hindered her dreams.
“I was raised Mormon,” she replied. “Any dreams I had were killed by the constant preaching that a woman’s place was in the home. Get married young, and have lots of babies. Thankfully I was only physically able to have one child. Oh, and yeah, the divorce is in the process.”
Unfortunately, misogyny thrives in many communities. Society tells women they shouldn’t have dreams of their own, and they should dedicate their lives to raising a family, and stay out of “men’s” spaces.
Thankfully, modern society is pushing against historical norms, showcasing that women are just as capable and have individual hopes, dreams, goals, and aspirations, just like men.
It’s almost as if women are, in fact, human.
Practicality
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Some dreams aren’t practical. One user openly admitted that they don’t pursue their dreams for this reason.
“They’re just not very practical, and I often don’t even make time for the parts that I can do,” they admitted.
Not everyone can be the next Michael Jordon. Most won’t become astronauts. It’s okay to put aside impractical pursuits for something more feasible.
Realism
When we’re young and idealistic, anything seems possible. Our imagination is our only limit. We dream of traveling the world, being astronauts, helping people in need, and saving animals.
As we grow, reality sets in, pushing our idealistic ideas away. We could become wildlife biologists, but we’d work for peanuts, and we have bills to pay.
Our dreams would work in an idealistic world, but in reality, pursuing them would impact our quality of life. A healthy dose of pragmatism over idealism kills dreams.
Caretaking
Responsibilities dampen our ability to pursue our dreams. One user said being a caretaker for their sick parents prevents them from pursuing their passions.
“Caring for an older parent. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be there for them at this stage of their life, but having been taking care of them for the past ten years, I’m, admittedly, starting to dream of another life. One where I can move about freely without having to worry about them so much,” they said.
The user added that they love their parents and are happy to care for them, but the responsibility makes pursuing their dreams difficult.
Pursuing Perfection
One user said they are their own worst enemy and hold themselves back from following their dreams.
“Myself, wasting time thinking I can’t move forward until I have this or that taken care of,” they said.
Many of us overthink following our dreams to the point where we don’t do anything. We think everything has to be perfect to start, so we never begin.
The old saying that perfection is the enemy of success holds true. Striving for perfection is a dream killer because it’s an impossible standard.
Let me let you in on a little secret: things don’t have to be perfect. It’s okay to start slowly, do things poorly, learn, and grow.
Don’t let the pursuit of ideal timing or perfect conditions prevent you from taking action today.
Time
A lot of people have money, but only because they spend all their time working jobs they don’t necessarily like to pay the bills. The jobs take up all of our free time, preventing us from pursuing our dreams outside work.
“Work, I hardly ever have time to do anything else, and if I do get a break, I’m completely knackered from it and just want to sleep,” shared one user.
“Most of my time is dedicated to the job I need to pay my bills,” responded another.
Health Care
Society’s decision to tie healthcare to employment killed dreams across the country. Millions of people would quit their jobs to pursue freelance work or entrepreneurship, but they don’t, and not because they can’t technically afford it.
What they can’t afford is their medical bills if they lose their employer-sponsored insurance plan.
Fear of medical bankruptcy keeps them trapped in meaningless jobs.
Dreams Change
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The biggest dream killers might not actually kill dreams at all.
Children have fanciful ideas, but adults have practical goals. Some of us realize that what we thought we wanted then won’t fulfill us now.
Sure, as a child, you dreamed of being a movie star, but as you grew up, you realized you didn’t care what you did for money, because all you wanted was a loving family. You gave up your career goals because you discovered something that mattered so much more.
Maybe you really are following your dreams after all.