Thousands of little girls spend their childhoods dreaming of their fantasy wedding. She’ll be a glowing bride surrounded by her loved ones and ready to ride into the sunset with the man of her dreams.
The End of Women’s Lives
The reality of marriage is far from the dream. Women lose themselves, especially when kids enter the picture.
Perhaps this is why marriage is celebrated as the most significant event in women’s lives – it’s actually the end of their independent lives. Women are no longer free to pursue their hopes and dreams.
The Double Shift
Despite working outside the home just as much as men, women still bear the brunt of domestic labor. Even women who outearn their husbands work harder inside the home.
The old saying “men work from nine to five, but a woman’s work is never done” is more true now than ever.
Many women get married and then become trapped. They sacrifice careers to raise the kids and have no way of supporting themselves in case of divorce.
Statistics show that a quarter of all women experience severe intimate partner violence, and a third of all women have experienced some sort of physical violence.
Abuse almost always escalates. Some men don’t become abusive until after he thinks she’s locked down, with either a marriage or kids.
Worse With Kids
Marriage actually doesn’t have the most significant impact on women’s wellness; it’s what comes next: Children.
Married mothers must work, manage the household, raise the children, and do it all independently with a smile. They lose themselves in the burdens of motherhood and domestic servitude.
Less Impact on Men
The most insidious part of the entire script is the way society pretends that it’s men who get scammed into marriage. Men constantly joke about the ball and chain, the end to their freedom, and getting “tied down” with marriage when in reality, their lives change very little.
Men aren’t expected to give up their careers for love or sacrifice their hopes and dreams for family. Only women bear this burden.
Single Women Happier
A 2019 study found that single, child-free women are the happiest people. They also reported the lowest levels of misery. Psychologists agree, saying women can find fulfillment in far more than motherhood.
Society Tricks Women
It’s clear that marriage and children negatively impact women’s health and wellness. To combat that, society created a massive psyops campaign to gaslight women into believing that getting married and having kids is critical to a happy, fulfilling life.
Here’s how it happened.
For most of human history, women had no choice in childbearing. She couldn’t refuse to wed or deny her husband’s advances. Birth control didn’t exist.
Women were forced to have children whether they wanted to or not.
Cultural and Religious Traditions
Women have been forcced into servitude for eaons. Religious teachings insist that a “good woman” cares for the house and home and serves her husband.
Historically women’s only option was marriage. Women weren’t allowed to seek employment or education. Those who broke barriers were held back at every turn.
Women can opt out of marriage and motherhood, but that’s bad for men and governments who need fresh blood to exploit, so they’ve developed new ways to trick women into servitude.
Happily Ever After
Fairy tales fill children’s heads with fantasies of happy ever after. These tales are always about finding Prince Charming and settling down, never about becoming a celebrated artist or curing a deadly disease.
All the Rom Coms
It doesn’t end in childhood. Most movies marketed towards women feature a woman searching for her mister right. These romantic comedies always end with wedding bells.
The Portrayal of Men vs. Women
But it’s not just romantic comedies. Nearly every movie and television show pushes this idealogy. The sole female Avenger breaks down because she’s unable to have children. Every wild party girl settles down and learns the true meaning of love when introduced to children. Career women are cold and calculating, while mothers are warm and loving. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
Strict Gender Roles
Strict gender roles keep everyone trapped in their box. It’s harmful to both genders. Some men would be excellent teachers and caretakers, but that’s seem as women’s work so they must pursue careers they hate, while mom, who would be a fantastic executive, get stuck at home.
Marriage as the Ultimate Life Goal
It’s no question that society still sees marriage as the ultimate life goal, especially for women. The questions about “when you’re getting married” never cease. And no other milestone gets praise and celebration anywhere close to what people get at a wedding.
It’s no wonder women become bridezillas when they’ve been told a wedding is the pinnacle of their lives.
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Melanie launched Partners in Fire in 2017 to document her quest for financial independence with a mix of finance, fun, and solving the world’s problems. She’s self educated in personal finance and passionate about fighting systematic problems that prevent others from achieving their own financial goals. She also loves travel, anthropology, gaming and her cats.