Are you allowed to buy the things you want?
Finance gurus offer a resounding “NO!”. If you listened to them, perhaps you’d be financially secure, but you’ll also be miserable, living sparsely on rice and beans while watching your savings grow.
Here’s the truth: It’s okay to spend money! In fact, you should spend money on things you love!
Discover why spending money on anything but needs became taboo, and how to reframe your thinking (and spending) so you can afford things that bring joy to your life.
Is Spending Money Bad?
People scoff when you spend money on things you want. Horrible financial advisor Dave Ramsey once said that people in debt should never see the inside of a restaurant. How dare you treat yourself to a meal if you have a mortgage or student loans?
The pervasive idea that you’re not allowed to enjoy life needs to retire. It’s not wrong to spend money on what you love – most of the time.
When To Stop Spending Money
You need to stop spending money if any of these two things describe you:
- You can’t afford it
- You’re buying things you don’t want
Society grabbed these and ran with them, lumping nearly any type of spending into one of the two categories.
But let’s see what they really mean.
You Can’t Afford To Spend
Affordability is the biggest elephant in the room. It means something different to everyone. Some finance experts think you can’t afford anything if you have any debt, while most of us understand that life needs balance.
Although we can’t cover everything, here are some signs you can’t afford to spend money on yourself.
Paycheck to Paycheck
Needs must come before wants. If you don’t make enough money to cover the bills, you can’t afford to spend recklessly.
Living on Credit
I vehemently disagree with Ramsey’s statement that you can’t enjoy life if you have debt. We all have debt for various reasons, like student loans, car payments, and emergency vet bills.
It’s okay to treat yourself if you’re paying off the debt. However, if you’re relying on credit to pay for restaurants, shopping trips, and impulse buys, you need to rethink your life. The debt should be shrinking, not growing.
No Savings
You shouldn’t waste money on things you don’t need if you have nothing saved for a rainy day.
However, you don’t have to boast a fully funded savings account before you can enjoy life. As long as you’re regularly putting cash away, you can spend some money on yourself.
Relying on Others to Foot the Bill
You can’t afford to buy things you want if you’re not self-sufficient. Far too many “spenders” in relationships blow all their money on wants, then depend on their partners to pick up their slack financially. Others constantly “borrow” money from friends and family, but they never pay it back.
Stop buying things for yourself when other people are subsidizing your life.
What About People on Public Assistance?
When I say you shouldn’t spend money on yourself if you’re relying on others, I’m referring to people who purposely coast through life on other people’s coat strings.
I don’t believe that people who need help should live in misery. If you’re on any type of public assistance, you should strive to improve your situation, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a treat every once in a while.
Buying Things You Don’t Want
You bought it because you wanted it at the time. But did it bring you joy? Does it still?
Most of us spend far too much on impulse buys – a candy bar at the gas station or a cute shirt you never wear anymore. The marketers did their job, manipulating us to spend money on things we don’t really want or need.
If you want to spend money on things you love, stop wasting it on random junk.
Here’s how to tell the difference.
What Enhances Your Life?
People often confuse things that bring temporary contentment or a certain image with things that will enhance their lives.
Spotting the difference can be challenging. Will having a certain image enhance your life? Is that temporary contentment worthwhile?
Only you can answer those tough questions, but we can help.
As a certified life coach, I understand what brings people joy. Here’s what you should focus on to ensure your spending enhances your life.
Experiences Over Things
People who spend money on experiences rather than things tend to lead happier lives. Focus your spending on doing things that you’ll enjoy rather than collecting stuff you don’t need.
Stop buying new clothes every week, and save the money for a trip to a museum. Limit spending on home decor, and buy art supplies instead.
Things that Bring You Joy
Sometimes, “things” do bring us joy. Some of us have treasured collections of Funko Pop toys, books, or video games.
If you love it, spend money on it, no matter what it is or who tells you that you shouldn’t (unless you can’t afford it, like we discussed above!). Any experience or item that brings joy to your life is worth spending money on.
Image vs. Joy
The image of what society tells you to want is a giant, money sucking trap. Reject it.
Take a deep look at why you want the things you want, whether it be a fancy sports car, a big house, a designer coat, or anything else. Would those items really make you happy, or is someone trying to sell you a false dream?
Do you want a sports car because commercials make the drivers look so cool, or because you’ve always dreamed of driving fast on open roads? Do you want a huge house because we’ve been sold the idea since childhood that it was the American dream, or do you want it because you want to have a big family?
Ask yourself these and similar questions for everything you think you want, especially the big purchases. If you decide it will bring you joy, get it. But if you realize you only want it because you’re supposed to want it, skip it.
Avoid Impulse Buys
Impulse buys are the bane of our existence. How much extra money do you spend on doodads, snacks, drinks, and random stuff you don’t even remember?
Take a month to examine your spending and add it all up. You might be shocked at how much money you waste on useless junk you don’t need or want.
Moderation
You can’t spend all your money on things you love. While it’s crucial to enjoy your life, you must act with moderation.
Ensure you’re saving money in emergency funds and retirement accounts, managing your bills, and investing. Set yourself up for financial security, now and in the future.
However, moderation swings both ways. You don’t need to save every extra penny. Allow yourself to enjoy some of your hard-earned income on things you love.
Spend More on What You Love
It’s okay to spend money on things that you love. Life isn’t only about struggling and saving, self-sacrifice and deprivation. It’s also about experiencing and learning; joyful moments, and contentment.
To do that, you need to stop spending on things that don’t bring value to your life.
These tips can help.
Determine Your Priorities
First, you need to determine what you love and want out of life.
Grab your journal and write your goals, dreams, and desires. Jot down what you want your dream life to be, your top priorities, financial goals, and even the things you love doing each month.
Now you know where you should spend your money.
Track Your Spending
Track all of your spending for an entire month. Keep track of every cent, from that gas station gum to the rent payment. After that month, bring your journal back out and write down every single item you’ve spent money on.
Now you know where you’re actually spending your money.
Compare Spending to Priorities
Compare your list of spending to your list of priorities. Do they match up?
Are you wasting money on things you don’t care about? Where can you shift your spending to better align with your goals?
Use your journal to record your thoughts.
Make a Budget
“Don’t tell me what you value; show me your budget, and I’ll tell you what you value.”
-Joe Biden
It is time to align your budget with your values.
Record all your monthly expenses, like rent, mortgages, insurance, utilities, etc. Although there are ways to save money on these living expenses, they are generally not-negotiable, and you need to pay them. Make sure you include anything that you might pay quarterly or annually as well – like taxes, insurance, etc.
Now you know how much money you have to focus your spending.
Cut Back
Review your journal for all the useless spending you identified. It’s time to cut back.
Stop spending money on things that don’t bring you joy, like the daily coffee or the afternoon snack. Eat at home more, or bring lunches to work. Opt for cheaper items at the grocery store.
However, you don’t need to cut back on everything. If you thrive off your daily coffees, it’s okay to keep indulging in them, as long as you can afford them.
The goal here is to cut back on things that don’t enhance your life, not to limit yourself.
Sticking to a Budget
You’ve made a budget, now you must commit to it.
Set up allotments with your paycheck, so money goes directly into a savings account. If it’s not in your checking account, it’s harder to spend.
Avoid your triggers. If you always buy junk food at the gas station, pay at the pump to avoid temptation. Removing shopping apps or gaming apps with microtransactions from your phone. Opt out of invitations to places where you know you will spend money.
Spend intentionally. Ask yourself if the purchase aligns with your priorities, and if it doesn’t, put it back.
Practice Frugality
Sometimes, spending money is unavoidable. We need things to survive, like food, dishes, and clothing.
However, you can spend less on all the things you need. Try scouring your local buy nothing groups. Shop at thrift stores, or get used online. If you can’t get it used, try bargain stores and clearance racks.
Living a more frugal lifestyle, especially regarding things that aren’t your priorities, will help you save more money for the things you actually want.
Negotiate and Cancel
Do you need all the entertainment channels and subscriptions? Do they really bring you joy?
It’s time to cancel. Get rid of cable and sign up for ONE streaming service instead. You can’t watch them all at the same time, so switch every six months or so for the fresh content.
Drop shopping subscriptions like Prime. You’ll save money and stop supporting an awful company. Cancel any magazine, gym, or membership subscriptions you don’t use.
Start Spending Money on What You Love!
When you spend intentionally on the things you love, you’ll start thriving. Ditch the useless expenses that don’t bring you joy, and find happiness through targeting spending!
A happy life awaits!
I think this is a better way to live than the pure minimalist choice. Be minimalist on things that don’t really set you on fire and spend on the few things that mean the most to you.