In the folly of youth, we laugh at older folks for their strange ways. Who eats dinner at 4 pm, refuses to go out after 8, and enjoys reading a newspaper??
Old folks – that’s who.
But the signs of getting older come for us all.
We start to do the very same things, and those of us with any sense of self-awareness will have an “aha!” moment, realizing we were wrong all along.
Signs You’re Getting Older
I get it, you’re in your twenties, sticking your finger in your ears, screaming “nuh-uh!”
So did I.
But now I’m in my forties, and the old people habits are creeping in.
And, in the words of the venerable old Abe Simpson, “It will happen to you!!”
Staying Home is the Best
The biggest sign you’re getting older is that you no longer want to go out and do all the things.
Young people want to go out and experience the world! Older people are happy staying home.
Honestly, though, I think it’s because “home” is better when you’re in your forties. When you’re young, you’re probably renting a small apartment with roomates. But by the time you reach middle age, you probably have your own place, meaning you get to do whatever you want.
It’s bliss.
You Panic Clean Before Company Comes
When I was in my twenties, I didn’t care if my friends saw my giant mess. They were messy too.
But as we all got older, our standards increased (at least, theirs did, and I don’t want them to know how much of a mess I still am!).
I totally understand why my parents rushed to surface clean the house when company came over. I do the same.
Crossword Puzzles are…Fun?
One of the best signs you’re getting older is that you start to know the answers to crossword puzzles.
We thought they were stupid because we never got them. Now that we’ve been immersed in pop culture for decades, we realize the puzzles are actually kind of fun.
If You Don’t Write It Down, It’s Gone
Young people scoff when their elders take notes but soon learn they should have taken notes, too.
Our memories aren’t infallible, and it’s best to write things down so we don’t forget.
Of course, needing to write everything down isn’t exactly a sign of aging…everyone forgets things all the time. But older folks have the self-awareness to know they will forget, whereas young people pretend they won’t.
You LOVE Birding
What is it about turning middle age that suddenly makes you want to watch the birds? Every person I know developed a birding habit in middle age.
I do get it. Birds are fascinating creatures. So many different species surround us, singing their songs and living their best lives.
Younger folks are too busy to appreciate the secret world of birds.
Early Bedtime
At 20, 10 PM means the night is young. At 40, that’s way past our bedtime.
Unfortunately, the early bedtime is less a sign you’re getting older and more a sign you’re getting responsible. We have to learn the pleasure of going to bed early because we have to get up so early to go to the job we hate.
Outdated Fashion
We used to laugh at older folks and their outdated clothes, but now we realize it’s better to have a lasting product than to waste money on a bunch of fast-fashion pieces we’ll just wear once.
We also realize it’s far better to be comfortable than fashionable, and, since we’re probably staying home anyway, who do we have to impress?
And Ugly Shoes
This one is mostly for ladies, but a major sign of aging is that we no longer want to destroy our feet.
Too many women endure pain for the sake of fashion. We scoff at older women for their flats and sneakers, but when we get older, we realize the pain is never worth it.
You Learned the Value of Boundaries
Older folks know boundaries are our friends. We’ve learned (through experience) that the drama is not worth it, and start to avoid folks who only bring toxicity to our lives.
Young folks – take heart. The sooner you learn the value of setting boundaries, the better your life will be. Don’t waste your youth bending yourself into knots to please people who aren’t worth the effort.
Chopping All Your Hair Off
A long time ago, a male colleague asked me why all the older women have short haircuts. I didn’t really know the answer at the time, but I do now.
Long hair is hot and difficult to manage. Chopping it off is much easier. Guys do the same, with their buzz cuts.
But it’s not just that. Menopause and aging cause hair thinning, and only shorter cuts look good. It’s like the older man who decided to embrace balding.
Cluttered Side Table
Why do you need your journal, pens, moisturizer, Kleenex, cups, and glasses on the side table?
Oh, because if everything is there, you don’t have to get up!
Keeping everything in one place is a habit you develop as you age because you tried everything else and realized not getting up is the best.
You HAVE To Do Calisthenics
Young folks can recover from any injury with ease, but it gets so much harder the older you get. Not only that, but you’re more likely to hurt yourself doing literally anything.
Even getting out of the chair wrong can injure your back, and you expect me to go to a high-intensity workout class?
But we still need to move. Instead of crazy workouts, we do Pilates and yoga. We stretch and do water aerobics.
The lower-impact movements help keep us healthy without risking injury.
Avoid Driving
Nothing beats the adrenaline rush of getting behind the wheel when you’re young and invincible.
But when you’re older, you start to truly understand the dangers inherent to driving and avoid it when possible.
It starts with night driving. Deciding that you no longer want to drive at night is probably one of the first signs of getting older you’ll encounter. You’ll start to squint more, the lights will be too bright, and it will feel unsafe – so you’ll avoid it.
Welcome to middle age.
General Crankiness
A general crankiness about pretty much everything is a top sign of aging.
But why are older folks so grumpy?
I bet you’ll get it as soon as you hit forty. Everything hurts. People suck. The idealism of youth washed away to the harsh pragmatism of reality. We wasted our potential and our lives didn’t turn out how we expected.
Need I go on?
Excited About Appliances
Do you get excited about the newest video game or new vacuum?
Older folks are more interested in buying a new dishwasher than new clothes. They’d rather splurge on appliances than concert tickets.
It’s not that we don’t want the other stuff anymore; it’s just that we value things that will make our lives better more.
No More Greasy Foods
One of the worst signs of getting older is that you can no longer enjoy the foods you used to love.
Late-night cheeseburgers cause early morning pain. Pizza brings indigestion.
But the weird thing nobody tells you is that you actually become okay with it. The fatty, greasy fare actually sounds gross. You’d happily swap it for a salad, or grilled chicken with vegetables.
You Realize Your Parents Were Right
We laughed when our parents tried to impart their knowledge, but as they grew older, they realized perhaps the old man was right.
A lot of Millennials wish they would have taken their parent’s advice to heart. You don’t have to be one of them.
Yes, It Will Happen To You!
I know, you don’t believe you’ll ever want to go to bed early or listen to your parents’ advice. But you will.
And maybe these signs of aging aren’t exactly funny “haha”, but they’re funny in the sense that it’s an almost universal human experience. Not just the old people habits we develop, but the fact that we never expect it to happen to us and are surprised once it happens.
Maybe I don’t love late nights or big parties anymore, but I love the new phase of life I’m in. I love reading my book before bed, cuddling with my cat, feeling energized at work, and enjoying healthy meals. I even appreciate the less funny and more subtle signs of aging.
You’ll learn to appreciate life’s simple pleasures as you age too.