Throughout most of history, men were the primary decision-makers. Not because women were incapable, but because women were held back from education, careers, and opportunities outside the home.
With women’s suffrage a little over 100 years ago and advances in equal rights, that’s changing. Women increasingly claim the breadwinner title, shattering glass ceilings in numerous industries, including finance, technology, and construction.
Sexism in Customer Service
Despite all the advances, women still face challenges. Sexism in customer service remains a problem, but women aren’t the only ones who lose. In fact, many women are turning the tables on sexist men, making their misogyny a “them” problem.
Men Who Can’t Fathom Capable of Women
A subset of men in customer service positions can’t grasp the idea of a woman who knows what she’s talking about, especially in traditionally male industries.
These men refuse to engage with women in business, talk down to them, and defer to their husbands (both real and imagined) on decision-making despite all the evidence that they can make their own decisions.
One woman came to Reddit to vent after experiencing yet another situation where her experience and expertise were questioned and devalued compared to her partner, and other women commiserated in the comments, sharing their own experiences with sexism in customer service.
On the plus side, most of these women refused to work with the sexist men and instead gave their business to someone who respected them as people.
Seeking a Financial Advisor
The Original Poster (OP) works in finance, and her fiancé does not. She’s the breadwinner and the driving force behind all the couple’s financial planning.
“The assets we have are because of my job, and fiancé has very little knowledge of financial planning and investing,” shared OP.
The couple sought a financial advisor to ensure they were on the same page with finances before marriage.
At the start of the meeting, the male advisor asked them about their jobs, and that’s when the problems began.
“Right away, the advisor asked us our jobs, and then made a jab at me about why I need an advisor if I work in a similar field,” reported OP. “I just joked that even lawyers have lawyers.”
Things didn’t get better from there.
The Man Knows All
The financial advisor proceeded to ignore her for most of the meeting, directing all his questions about their accounts to her fiancé because, clearly, the man in the couple would control all the finances, despite the knowledge that the woman works in the field, and her fiancé does not.
At first, her fiancé just paused, allowing OP to jump in and answer the questions. However, it got to the point where both were frustrated with the planner’s sexism.
“After this happened 3-4x, he kept telling the advisor to ask me since I’m the one who handles it,” said OP, adding that the advisor couldn’t wrap the idea of a lady handling finances around his head. “The advisor would talk to me, but then the next question would be directed back at my fiancé.”
Mansplaining Finances to an Industry Insider
It gets worse. The advisor finally decided to include OP in the conversation, but only in the most condescending way fathomable.
He decided to direct his explanations of simple financial concepts to OP.
“Now he starts to very simply and plainly explain to me what a brokerage account is, what investing is, how they use “these things called stocks and mutual funds” to grow our wealth,” she said, adding that he used very dumbed down language and specifically looked to her, ignoring her finance, during this portion of the meeting.
They Didn’t Hire Him
Due to his obvious misogyny, OP and her fiancé decided against this particular advisor for their financial planning needs.
Even after being told numerous times, he decided that OP’s credentials didn’t matter, that she wasn’t knowledgeable about finances, and that her partner should make all the decisions. He destroyed his own chances of scoring a wealthy client because he couldn’t look past his own prejudices.
A frustrated OP vented to Reddit but wanted to know if others shared similar experiences, and they delivered with a wide range of stories highlighting sexism in the customer service industry.
A Siding Estimate
One woman said she attempted to get a siding estimate for her house and thought the price was too high. The contractor told her to talk with her husband, as he would better understand the cost.
She’s a single homeowner.
Buying a Car
Many women had similar experiences while trying to buy a new car. The salesman automatically assumed the man had the final say.
One woman shared her frustrating conversation, only to find it all too common.
“So you know it’s me buying the car, right?” she asked the dealer.
“Yeah.”
“So why are you talking to my husband? Do you think he decides what car I get?”
Some salesmen have the decency to apologize, while others continue to direct all questions towards the man. They typically don’t get the sale.
And at a Mechanic
Anything about cars seems to breed sexism, as men in the field can’t imagine women would know anything about them.
Mechanics are renowned for their sexism in customer service, with numerous users sharing stories of bad experiences.
One woman who grew up working on cars learned that shady mechanics tend to listen better when her male partner, who knows absolutely nothing about it, stands behind her. A male user said he accompanied a friend to a mechanic, and they kept trying to discuss repairs with him, even though he was just along for the ride.
Computer Sales
When one couple went to a store for a new laptop, the salesman treated the woman (who works in IT) as an accessory.
“I’d ask the man a question on specifications, and he’d turn around and give the answer to my husband. I’d ask another question, so he’d turn and face me to hear the question, then spin back around to give the answer to my husband,” she said.
The salesman would listen to her questions, then turn around and direct the answer to her husband as if she weren’t real.
A Woman Can’t Possibly Have Authority
Sexism in customer service applies to business-to-business sales as well. One woman shared that she’s the manager at a restaurant and has purchasing authority with vendors.
Male vendors can’t seem to grasp that she’s a manager. They’ll ask to speak to a manager or to talk to the “guy” with purchasing authority.
It’s her.
Sexism in Customer Service All Too Common Experience
The women of Reddit commiserated on the daily sexism they experienced, but that doesn’t make it less frustrating.
Women can handle their own finances, buy their own cars, determine which computer best meets their needs, and complete any other life task.
If men want to succeed in their businesses, they must accept women as valuable clients. With more women becoming breadwinners, single homeowners, and decision-makers, the men who refuse to engage with women in business will lose customers if they can’t treat their new client base as equals.