“Coming Out” as Atheist To Deeply Religious Parents

Parents raise their children as little mini-mes, instilling their worldviews and values in the hope that their kids will carry on their traditions into eternity. 

I get it, one of the biggest bonuses of having kids is passing on your culture and values. But some parents forget a crucial point: their kids are also people, and free to form their own beliefs. 

Parents Who Refuse to Let Their Kids Grow

Parents arguing with their teenage son, who sits in front of a computer with snacks and looks like he doesn't care.
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Unfortunately, some people hate the idea that people can grow with individualism, even here in the US. 

These parents seek to “shelter” their children from anything that would tarnish their beliefs. Some homeschool their kids to hide the truth about the world, teaching creationism instead of evolution and “protecting” them from the harsh realities of racism, misogyny, and scientific discovery during their crucial developmental years. 

Others use emotional blackmail to twist their kids into what they want, showing love only when they follow the “right” path (which means whatever the parents want) and harshly punishing any deviation, even going so far as to disown their kids if they don’t do as they’re told. 

The Kids Grow Anyway

Sometimes, and to the parents’ great dismay, the kids grow anyway. They learn the truth from their friends, or the internet, or brief interactions with the outside world that their parents can’t avoid. They realize they’re different, or don’t feel the way their parents claim they should. 

These kids form their own beliefs. And their parents can’t stand it. 

On Coming Out

Eventually, these kids want to share their thoughts with their parents, the people who should love them and accept them no matter what. 

But as members of the LGBTQ community know all too well, many parents can’t accept the deviation. Far too many LGBTQ youth have suffered at the hands of their parents for loving the wrong person. Some were thrust into poverty after being kicked out of the house, and far too many lost their lives over it. 

The stories from the LGBTQ community about emotional manipulation, blackmail, and abandonment are far too many, but we often see reports in the media. We know it’s a problem. 

Another type of coming out gets far less fanfare, though it’s just as dangerous. 

An Atheist in a Religious Household

In today’s interconnected world, it’s easier than ever for children growing up in deeply religious households to connect with folks with different beliefs. Despite the parents’ best efforts to keep their child brainwashed, they make friends with people from other religions and *gasp* even atheists. 

These kids, who are still developing their own sense of identity, think critically about their parents’ religious beliefs and sometimes question them. It’s a normal part of growing up and finding your place in the world. 

Some become their parents’ worst nightmares. They become atheists. 

Hatred for Atheists

mad looking young man
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Atheists rank as the most hated group in America. A 2012 study shows that less than 50% of American voters would vote for a well-qualified atheist presidential candidate. Parents cringe at the thought of an atheist son or daughter-in-law. 

Americans hate atheists and always assume the worst of them, saying atheists are the least trustworthy and the most likely to commit crimes (though statistics show this belief is blatantly false). 

Telling Your Parents You’re an Atheist

Telling your parents you’re an atheist can be just as dangerous and devastating as coming out as a member of the LGBTQ community. 

One young person came to Reddit describing the emotional turmoil their confession caused. 

Their mom “spent the next 2 hours crying on the floor in the kitchen while my father kept showing me some clips of a scientist who believes in creation,” they reported, adding that they don’t know how to deal with this emotional turmoil, especially as they rely on their parents for survival. 

A Common Problem

The original poster was lucky – their parents didn’t kick them out. Loving Christian parents so commonly kick their atheist children to the curb that a religious website had to write an article telling parents not to kick their kids out. 

What should the kids do?

Many Atheists Fake It

People sitting in the pews of a church.
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Many atheist children pretend they’re religious to avoid their parents’ wrath. They go to Church, participate in prayer, and go through the motions to avoid the guaranteed conflict that will arise if the parents discover the truth. 

In this way, atheists have it far easier than their LGBTQ counterparts. They don’t have to hide who they love and only have to play pretend a few times per week, not their entire lives. 

Why Do Some Christian Parents Shun Their Children?

If Christianity is a religion of love and forgiveness, why do so many Christian parents disown their children over differences in belief, whether atheism or sexual orientation?

It’s also striking that only certain sects of Christianity behave this way. Other sects embody Christ’s teachings, creating loving, welcoming environments for everyone, regardless of their beliefs, values, background, or sexual orientation. 

Others seem antithetical to everything Jesus stood for. 

We can’t fathom what goes through someone’s mind when they reject someone they purport to love for living a life true to themselves. It boggles the mind that a religion based on love and forgiveness would support and condone such atrocious behavior, yet here we are. 

These hateful Christians should think long and hard about how their beloved savior would act before turning on their children. 

America would be a far better place if Christians acted more like Christ.

Author: Melanie Allen

Title: Journalist

Expertise: Pursuing Your Passions, Travel, Wellness, Hobbies, Finance, Gaming, Happiness

Melanie Allen is an American journalist and happiness expert. She has bylines on MSN, the AP News Wire, Wealth of Geeks, Media Decision, and numerous media outlets across the nation and is a certified happiness life coach. She covers a wide range of topics centered around self-actualization and the quest for a fulfilling life.