Pet Regret is More Common than You Think. Here’s How to Handle It

Congratulations! You’re the proud owner of a cuddly new puppy or kitten. You get to take this adorable creature home and are now responsible for the daunting task of caring for it for the rest of its life. 

You signed up for this but didn’t realize the massive challenge you’ve agreed to undertake. 

You might be experiencing pet regret. 

What is Pet Regret

Pet regret is the realization that you made a giant mistake. Animal care is far more complex than you imagined, and you have neither the time, energy, or desire for the challenge. 

Pet regret may stem from the realization that your pets hold you back from living the life you want to live. You can’t travel because you need a pet sitter, you can’t move because landlords hate pets, and you can’t save money because you’re constantly paying vet bills. 

Regardless of the reason, pet regret is a real thing people experience. 

Realizing You Feel Regret

Some people have an epiphany, instantly realizing they made a mistake. They brought the puppy home and knew it was a bad idea within days. 

But it takes longer for others. Pet regret isn’t always instantaneous. Sometimes, it’s a slow-dawning realization that takes months, even years, to come to terms with. 

It took me years to realize that dog ownership isn’t for me. I didn’t fully understand how much they impacted my life when I got them. 

I Love My Pets

Before the brigade of pet lovers starts crucifying me– hear me out. 

I have four cats and two dogs, and I love the little buggers. I would never dump them at an animal shelter or give them less than the care they deserve. 

They are a part of the family. They are my responsibility, and I will do my best to ensure each one has the longest, most comfortable life possible. 

However, despite how much I love them, I failed to consider how much they would impact my life.

Perhaps my story will help someone else realize they aren’t ready for pet ownership, while it might make others on the fence decide they’re up for the challenge. 

Getting a pet should never be an impulse decision. It should be well-researched and enthusiastic. 

Anyone considering pet ownership must know all sides of the story – the joys and limitations. 

Why Do I Regret Getting Pets?

My life would be different if I didn’t have pets. I could have taken that job in California or rented while living in Savannah and Pennslyvania. 

I could quit my job on a whim, travel the world, or even do something simple, like a spontaneous vacation. 

Unfortunately, pets make all these dreams unfeasible. 

I Regret Getting a Dog

I regret the dogs far more than I regret the cats. 

Cats are easy. When it was just them, I could take weekend trips whenever I wanted when it was just them. They’re fine for a few days, with plenty of food and water scattered throughout the house. 

Dogs are different. You can’t leave them alone and go on an overnight trip, much less an entire weekend getaway. 

If I want to get away, I must hire a pet sitter or boarder. Pet-sitting cats is easy. Someone only needs to come once per day. But dogs need to go out at least three times a day, skyrocketing the cost of sitting. We also need to book well in advance to ensure someone can watch them, which significantly limits spontaneity. 

Though the travel limitations are part of why I regret dogs, they aren’t the only reason. Dogs are more challenging because they’re more expensive, limit mobility, and take far more time and energy than cats. 

Dogs Are Expensive

I have two large dogs. Their food costs $75 every three weeks, not including special treats or bones. 

Dogs require constant medical care. They must go to the veterinarian at least once per year minimum, and at any sign of a problem. One of my dogs had constant ear infections, while another suddenly developed a skin rash. These little problems and the vet bills required to treat them constantly pop up. 

I also pay for flea, tick, and heartworm prevention and their yearly vaccinations. 

In addition, I have to buy plenty of chew toys and bones so they don’t destroy my stuff.  

When Coyote was a puppy, he ate my brand-new couch on the day it was delivered, costing me hundreds of dollars in repairs. 

Time and Energy

People buy energetic dog breeds and then ditch them when they eat their couch. But who’s fault is it?

Energetic breeds need constant attention and engagement. They become destructive if they don’t have healthy ways to release their energy. 

Knowing what you’re getting into before adopting a dog is vital. 

Although I had a bit of an idea with Coyote, I didn’t know the full extent. However, I didn’t exactly choose him. I found him. 

An eight-month-old husky mix showed up at my mom’s house in the Mojave desert. He was chipped, but the family said they didn’t want him. I assume they bought him rose-colored glasses and ditched him when he ate their couch. 

I felt terrible for him, and although I knew I couldn’t give him all the engagement he needed, I figured life with me would be better than a short life in the desert or a shelter, so I took him home. 

I didn’t ditch him when he ate my couch, but I did try to take him to the dog park more often. Unfortunately, I usually don’t have the time or energy for it, but at least he’s calmed down and rarely eats my stuff anymore. 

Coyote is a wonderful dog. He gets along well with the cats and loves everyone he meets. I’m glad I saved him, but that doesn’t change the fact that he requires much more energy than I have.  

Lack of Mobility

Dogs make finding housing hard. If you want a dog, you must understand that they may prevent you from moving. 

Many landlords refuse to rent to someone with a dog weighing over fifty pounds; even “dog-friendly” buildings often have restrictions. Some have no weight limits but don’t allow “bully breeds.” Unfortunately, my sweet, gentle, terrified Akita, Malaki, is considered a “bully breed,” making it nearly impossible to find an apartment. 

Dog ownership has severely limited my mobility. Moving is prohibitively expensive, making it hard to look for better opportunities in different cities. Most of the time, renting is out of the question, so I almost always have to buy. 

In 2019, I got the most fantastic job offer of my life. It was for nearly 120K per year and back in Long Beach, CA. 

I turned the job down.

My official reason is that moving back to California won’t help me on the path to financial freedom. While that’s technically true, it’s only accurate because I have so many pets.

Can’t Move, Too Many Pets

The real reason I turned the job down is that I have so many pets. Moving back to California with them would be incredibly expensive. Finding a home where we could all live in the area would cost me more than the yearly raise. 

There’s no way I could afford it. 

If I didn’t have them, I would have taken the job. I could have easily found a one-bedroom apartment or roommate situation for around $1000 a month in the area. 

After my housing costs, I’d still take home over 100K a year. That would be worth it for a few years and would help me on my journey to financial independence. 

Regretting My Cats

I don’t regret my cats as much as my dogs, as they are more manageable.

When I was just a crazy cat lady, I could take weekend trips and not worry about whether the cats would destroy the house when I was gone. Sure, they’d get mad and throw a few things off the counter, but overall, they could take care of themselves for a few days.

However, I do regret getting four cats.

If I had only two cats, like a normal person, I’d be able to do most of what I want. I could have found a cheap one-bedroom rental in California that accepts cats. I could have moved them cross-country without having to stop every two hours.

But still, even with just one cat, my dreams of traveling the world would have to be put on hold. Cats don’t travel well, and there are many rules and restrictions to bringing domestic animals across international borders. And with four cats, it’s a pipe dream.

What Should You Do if You Regret Getting Pets?

If any of this story resonates with you, you have options. Pet regret is real, but there are things you can do to manage it. 

Suck it Up

The first option is to suck it up and deal. You adopted the pet; it’s part of your family, and you must figure it out. 

Many far reaches of the internet will stubbornly advise you to do just this. Although some of us do it and find ways to be happy, we need to acknowledge it’s not realistic or appropriate for everyone. 

Make Adjustments

Another option is to find ways to make it work. Sometimes, we regret getting a pet because we’re overwhelmed and don’t get the help we expected from a partner. 

If people in your household want the pet but aren’t helping, adjust your workload and force them to help. 

Have older kids walk and feed the dog. Make your partner responsible for vet visits. Adjust the workload in your home so it’s not all on you. 

You can also adjust your life goals to account for your animals, like I did. I’m still on the path to financial independence, but I acknowledge I will have to work longer to provide a home for my pets. It’s okay, though. The extra years will fatten up my investments, and I will get to experience the full joy of pet ownership along the way. 

Training

Sometimes, pet regret situations arise from lack of training. Dogs can be difficult. If they think they can get away with something, they will. 

If you regret your dog because it’s behaving poorly, consider taking it to training classes before giving up on it. Your furry friend may need a little guidance to become the perfect companion. 

Pay for Help

If you’re overwhelmed and nobody can help, it’s okay to pay for it. Hire a dog walker to walk your dog a few times per week or take them to doggy daycare while you’re at work. 

Outsourcing some of the dog’s care may make dog ownership easier and more manageable if you can afford it. 

Rehome

If all else fails and you cannot give your pet the care it deserves, it’s perfectly acceptable to rehome it. 

Many internet users will give you hate for re-homing, but often, it’s the best option for both you and the pet.

Be sure to do the proper research before re-homing a pet. Give your pet to good owners, where it will be happy, healthy, and well taken care of. Use these great tips for re-homing to find a perfect match. 

Please avoid dropping your pet off at a shelter. Most shelters are so overrun with homeless animals that most only get a few days to get adopted -and get euthanized if they don’t.  If you can’t find a good new home, at least find a no-kill shelter. 

How to Avoid Pet Regret

Sometimes, pet regret is unavoidable. Life changes, jobs change, families change, and commitments we once made are no longer feasible. 

However, there are ways to mitigate pet regret to a great extent. 

Research

Before getting any pet, you should research its needs. Consider its life span, common ailments, food needs, and energy levels. 

Ensure you know exactly what to expect with a specific animal and breed before purchasing. 

Choose an Appropriate Breed

Huskies are the cutest animals. They’re furry, with blue or multicolored eyes, and often make people swoon. 

However, huskies are also very high-energy dogs. They love being outside and being active. They get bored quickly and often turn to destructive behaviors to alleviate their boredom.

Huskies don’t do well as inside dogs. If you live in a small apartment, choose a breed suited for apartment life or get a cat. 

Don’t get a dog that’s not suited to your lifestyle just because it’s cute. 

Ensure Stability

Although life has a funny way of throwing curve balls during the best of times, there are some times we should just know that getting a pet is a bad idea. 

Put off getting a companion if you’re about to graduate college and don’t know where you might move after. Consider getting a small cat if you’re not yet stable in your career and have to hop from job to job. 

Before you get one, consider whether you will move soon and whether your companion can come with you. 

What Am I Going to Do?

As I said above, I will continue living my life and caring for my babies to the best of my ability. 

I’m capable of caring for them, and they enhance my life in many immeasurable ways. I’m sacrificing my freedom for them, and I’m more than okay with that choice. 

I didn’t write this because I will give them up or change anything I’m doing. I’m writing to acknowledge my feelings and let others know their regret is valid. 

People don’t discuss these regrets or acknowledge that having pets can hold them back, but these conversations are essential. They can prevent people from getting pets who probably shouldn’t have them while offering others a realistic idea of what to expect if they choose to adopt. 

So, if you regret getting pets, it’s not the end of the world. It doesn’t make you a bad person.  

In fact, it’s best to acknowledge your feelings so you can decide the best way to move forward for you and them.