Hollywood gaslights women into believing predatory behavior is romantic, but these creepy dating behaviors are anything but.
Discover the top behavior red flags everyone calls romantic, but that are actually creepy and controlling when you stop to think about it.
Over Spending
Sure, some women want to be wined and dined, but if he goes all out on the most expensive restaurant in town and big gifts immediately, he might be trying to control you.
Some men use their wallets to manipulate women into dating them…and more. They’ll scream that they spent a ton of money, so you owe them a second date. Remember that nobody is entitled to your time or attention, regardless of how much money they spend.
Love Bombing
Disney fairy tales teach us that love, at first sight is real, and when you find it, you express it fully.
It’s all false. It’s impossible to love someone you don’t know fully. It’s not true love; it’s love bombing, a manipulation tactic designed to make you let your guard down. You feel cherished and desired, but once they have you, they’ll start to show their true colors.
The “I Need To See You”
When you break up with someone, you are not obligated to see them ever again. Some will make a heartfelt plea that they need to see you just one last time.
Don’t give in. They want to see you in person to break your boundaries and manipulate you into giving them a second chance.
Claiming They’re Nothing Without You
Some take their romantic desires to terrifying levels. They use people’s guilt against them, forcing them to stay in relationships they don’t want to be in.
Threatening self-harm is never romantic. If someone thinks they’ll die without you, they need therapy, and you need to get away.
Public Proposals
Public proposals seem so romantic in the movies, but they can be creepy. Proposing lavishly and publicly makes it nearly impossible for the other party to say no, even if they aren’t ready for marriage.
The only time a public proposal is okay is if you and your partner have already discussed getting married, you both know the engagement is coming, and your soon-to-be fiancé has expressed a desire for a big public display.
Constant Phone Calls
When I was in college, I had a boyfriend who would call every five minutes. The phone would never stop ringing. I thought it was cute then, but now I realize how creepy it is.
I wasn’t allowed to have my own life or break from him. He needed to be front and center every second.
Wearing Her Down
The rom-com trope showing the awkward guy winning the girl after constantly badgering her and wearing her down until she finally says yes just to get it to stop isn’t romantic; it’s gross.
It teaches boys to disrespect women’s boundaries, keep pestering after they hear no, and that persistence pays off in romantic pursuits. These lessons aren’t true. If she does eventually say yes, it’s probably because she feels so pressured she can’t say no anymore, and if a relationship ultimately results, she’ll probably be unhappy.
Literal Stalking
Stalking is the ultimate creepy dating behavior. There is no universe where it’s romantic. Don’t unexpectedly show up to her work, house, or school uninvited, especially when you don’t have a relationship.
Don’t follow her home, check her schedule, watch her house, or snoop through her mail.
Rushing to “Take Care of You”
Society pushes the narrative that men must be providers, but some use providing to control their partners.
They’ll convince you to quit your job, move across the country with them, live with them, and give up all your social safety nets for them. It seems like a dream come true during the honeymoon phase, but once you’re dependent on them, their tune will change.
The romance will stop and now he’s in control of your entire life.
Weird Compliments
“You’re not that type of girl” and “You’re too good for that” are insidious compliments that keep you in line. When men try to compliment you by elevating you above “other women,” they’re really putting you on a pedestal that’s nearly impossible to escape. Now, you must toe the line he sets or face his wrath.
Weird compliments could also be a form of negging, a creepy dating behavior men use to tear women down. Don’t fall for it.
Wokefishing
Online dating is a cesspool, and now women have to navigate yet another insidious scheme: wokefishing. Men using this creepy dating tactic lie about their political views to score dates, because they know women wouldn’t date them if they knew the truth.
Hobbies that Might Be Creepy Dating Behaviors
They say having hobbies is critical to attraction, but not all hobbies are equal. Some hobbies seem downright creepy.
Here are the hobbies that women admit they find unattractive.