Dating is hard.
Men and women enjoy different things, leading to a disconnect when trying to impress the opposite gender.
Although both genders make assumptions about what the other is looking for, this article focuses on things men do to impress women that have the opposite effect.
Things that Turn Women Off
Lots of behaviors give women the “ick,” but today we’re focusing on things men do in the initial dating phases that turn women off.
Fellows, if you want to score a second date, please stop these behaviors women shared they hate.
Talking About Themselves
A date should be a two-way conversation. When one participant spends the majority of time talking about themselves rather than engaging in discussion, it’s a turn-off.
Both genders are guilty of this, but a lot of women complain that their dates will drone on and on about themselves, thinking they’re having a wonderful conversation, while their date doesn’t say a word.
I get it, you want to thrill your date with all your accomplishments, but stop hogging the conversation.
Failing To Ask About Her
One user shared a test their friend implemented to determine whether a suitor would get a second date. All he had to do was ask one question, just one, about herself. Even easy questions, like “how are you?” or “Do you like your food?” would count.
Nearly 75% of her dates failed this simple test.
Gentlemen: take note. The date isn’t all about you. You should want to get to know your date just as much as you want them to get to know you. Men who don’t show interest in their dates turn women off.
Insisting They’re a “Good Guy”
LightField Studios via Shutterstock.com.
If you have to insist you’re a decent human, people will begin to question why. Many female Redditors learned that men who tell them repeatedly how much of a “good guy” they are typically aren’t good guys.
“This is exactly like a guy I dated,” shared one user. “Proclaimed he was a feminist, talked about it every chance he got, even had the feminist logo tattooed on his arm. Was the biggest liar, cheater, and abuser I ever had the displeasure of getting to know.”
Others said that actions speak louder than words. Guys who showcase their decency through actions don’t need to brag about it.
Stop telling the world how good of a guy you are, and start showing it through your actions. Not only will it make you a better person, but you’ll be far more attractive to your dates.
Being Rude
Some manosphere communities insist that “holding frame” (i.e., not caring about her feelings and a generally rude attitude) is critical to attracting attention from women.
They’re wrong.
Most women don’t want to date rude men.
“Especially when they genuinely think they are so much better than everyone around them, actively go out of their way to remind everyone else how pitiful and useless they are ALL THE TIME, and refuse to accept any viewpoint or opinion that isn’t their own,” added another user, highlighting some of the rude behavior she’s encountered from men over time.
To be fair, some women do like rude men – but if you’re a decent guy, you probably don’t want to date the women who are attracted to rudeness.
A String of “Crazy Exes”
Men who dismiss all their exes as “crazy” are walking red flags. At best, it shows they have poor taste in women, but at worst, it leads us to conclude that he’s the problem.
“In my younger years, I was way too naive and got into an abusive relationship where his exes were all supposedly crazy and took advantage of him,” shared one user. She added that he was the problem, exhibiting all the behaviors and qualities he accused his exes of.
If all your exes are crazy, you may want to consider the common denominator before jumping back in the dating pool. Get a little introspective and see if you were part of the problem. If so, seek therapy to do better in the future.
Some men may have genuinely bad experiences with women. However, if that’s the case, keep the drama to yourself. Potential partners don’t want to hear you speak poorly about all the women you’ve dated and may see it as a red flag.
Absent Father
A man who ignores his current children probably won’t make a good father and has some women questioning whether he’d be a good partner. Many women said they wouldn’t date a man who doesn’t take care of his kids.
A good woman will want you to have a relationship with your kids. If she scoffs, she’s probably not someone you want in your life.
Complaining About Child Support
Others pointed out that their stance on child support is also telling. “I also get really turned off if they complain about paying child support or act like child support just goes to fund their ex’s lavish lifestyle,” shared one Redditor, adding, “That is rarely the case.”
Dating with children from previous relationships is a tricky subject. Some users pointed out the weird jealousies that can arise and how some women seem to see their potential stepchildren as competition.
While that might be true, that’s a red flag fathers need to look out for when dating.
Poor Hygiene
Some men seem to think hygiene doesn’t apply to them. They don’t shower regularly, don’t wash their nether regions when they do shower, wear ratty clothes, and don’t understand why women don’t want to date them.
“I could be really attracted to a guy, but the moment I notice his hygiene is crap, I will lose interest in a nano second,” exclaimed one user, highlighting the importance of taking care of yourself.
It’s not hard to wash your hands, fix your hair, put on decent clothes, and make yourself presentable. If you expect a woman to be neat and clean on a date, you should be too.
Putting Down Other Women
Men who talk poorly of other women in weak efforts to impress aren’t doing themselves any favors. The behavior reeks of misogyny, and most women can see right through it.
“It’s like a gendered version of ‘But you’re one of the good ones, so we don’t mean you,” shared one user.
Some users pointed out that some women like that behavior, but are likely not the women you want to date.
Dirty Jokes
Men don’t always understand that knowing your audience is vital to a great joke. Telling dirty or overtly sexual jokes to women you don’t know well is a horrible idea, but all too many men do it anyway, thinking they’re hilarious.
Women get turned off by immediate sexual references, even in jokes. They see it as men testing the water to see what they can get away with, and think if a man is that comfortable making obnoxious jokes in front of someone they don’t know, they will be more comfortable with even worse behavior later.
One user shared a story where this played out in her life. “I had a guy in the same driving class as me, kinda goofy, bit odd, but friendly enough,” she shared.
The user explained that he had asked for her number, which she had given, but was immediately turned off by his texting behavior. “He straight away proceeded to text me dirty jokes, and we weren’t friends like that. I turned down a date with him coz I just felt like if he could jump straight into dirty jokes with a near stranger, then a date with him would be even more uncomfortable.”
Inability To Be Wrong
According to some women, men who can’t admit they’re wrong are walking red flags. Some men take being mistaken as a blow to their ego and refuse to accept it, especially from women.
Many women refuse to engage with men who can’t admit when they’re wrong.
“I prove that they’re wrong using Google, and they get mad at ME! Like WTF?! Get over yourself,” replied one user.
The “Alpha Male”
Men seem drawn to the Alpha Male personas floating around the internet, but women hate it.
Though the original goal was to promote healthy masculinity and well-being for men, the efforts were perverted by a few “alpha male experts” looking to make a quick buck off male insecurity. The result is a toxic mess where men behave horribly, thinking it’s what women like.
The behavior repels healthy, well-adjusted women.
“I have always felt if someone calls himself ‘alpha,’ it immediately becomes clear to me they are not and have no idea what it actually is. Instead, they use it as a cop-out for their own bad behavior,” said one user.
Strong men don’t need to call themselves “alpha” posture, and treat everyone around them poorly to stroke their own egos.
Wokefishing
Online dating is a cesspool, and now women have to navigate yet another insidious scheme: wokefishing.
Guys, don’t do it. If you’re conservative, look for a conservative lady to date. Stop lying about your political beliefs – she will find out eventually.
Casual Misogyny
A lot of men hate women, and can’t even hide it. They mansplain, put women down, demand submission, and display a range of other behaviors showcasing what they really think about the opposite gender.
If you hate women, you probably shouldn’t be dating women.
Negging
Pick-up artists tricked men into thinking rude comments were the key to building interest. With negging, men will give a veiled insult that almost seems like a comment, like “I usually don’t like big noses, but it suits you.” The idea is it makes a woman want to impress you (or something).
Women without self-esteem issues don’t fall for it, and manipulating people who do have self-esteem issues is gross. Either way, negging won’t get you what you want long term, and most women see right through it.
Be Genuine
If you want to make a good impression, just be yourself. Be genuine, and treat your date with the respect due to a human being.
That’s what women actually want.