Armchair philosophers love to wax poetic about what other people should do.
They offer an endless stream of advice that sounds simple enough, but they don’t realize it’s far harder to accomplish than it seems.
These easier said than done words of wisdom show up every time someone asks for help, but nobody expands on them and tells us how to accomplish the things.
Easier Said than Done
We’re going to help.
No, we aren’t going to tell you how to do the thing because let’s face it, it’s HARD!
But we are going to help you give yourself some grace. You’re not crazy – a lot of stuff really is easier said than done.
So if someone is telling you to just do these things with an exasperated sigh, stop feeling bad that you can’t.
Discipline
People love throwing “discipline” out as the end-all, be-all answer to so many of life’s problems.
Need to lose weight? Build discipline. Have ADHD? No, you’re just not disciplined. Want a better job, a healthier lifestyle, or to learn a new skill?
Discipline discipline discipline.
You can’t get discipline out of a box.
Most of us already know we need discipline – the problem is that we don’t know how to build it. Nobody seems to have an answer for that, outside “just have more discipline.”
Gee, thanks.
Build Your Following
Want to build an online business and watch the dollars roll in?
It’s simple: build your following!
Entrepreneurs tell you to build your social media following like it’s nothing. Yeah, I guess I could be rich too if I had joined Instagram at the very beginning, spending thousands of hours on the platform growing my following.
But who has that kind of time?
Social media isn’t a Field of Dreams; they won’t come just because you’re there.
Building a following on any platform is more challenging than people make it seem.
Get a Better Job
“Get a better job” has real “Have you tried not being poor?” energy.
Millions of people are trapped in low-wage service industry jobs for a reason – actually for a lot of reasons.
Some folks don’t have the training or education for higher-paying jobs. Others live in areas lacking employment opportunities.
The vast majority of jobs available are in industries renowned for low pay, and companies fight tooth and nail to avoid paying any more than they have to.
Not only that, but layoffs are occurring in high-paying jobs across the country, and millions of people are struggling to find work.
Telling someone to “get a better job” is easier said than done, a piece of advice meant to dismiss their very real struggles.
Just Improve Your Skills Then
“Well, just improve your skills, then” is “get a better job’s” evil twin sister.
First, not everyone has the aptitude to improve their skills. Society tells us these folks don’t deserve a living wage, but I can’t abide by that.
But the thing that holds most people back isn’t a lack of aptitude; it’s a lack of access.
Think about it – how does one approve their skills? Education is the top choice, right? But it costs tens of thousands of dollars.
Even certification programs, trade schools, online learning, and community colleges cost too much for some folks, and that’s not even counting the time trade-off.
Learn to Code
We can’t talk about telling people to just improve their skills without homing in on the worst example of that advice.
Yes, I’m talking about the ever-present “Just learn to code, bro.”
Learning to code is far easier said than done. It takes technical savvy and attention to detail. It’s akin to learning a new language.
A lot of people simply don’t have the aptitude, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
But it’s actually far worse than all that – “learn to code” is also awful advice.
Though it might have been alright thirty years ago when programming got hot, the fact that everyone “learned to code” saturated the field, driving down salaries. And now it’s even worse, as companies across the country lay off tech workers in favor of AI.
Yeah, stop telling people to learn to code.
Leave that Bad Relationship
It takes, on average, seven tries for someone to leave an abusive relationship, but people will say it as if it is the easiest thing in the world.
Not only is leaving dangerous, but many people can’t afford to live alone. Others are so mentally abused that they don’t think they deserve better.
Telling someone to “just leave” showcases your lack of empathy. There are so many reasons why she can’t, maybe you can help resolve them before blaming her for staying.
Believe in Yourself
Those lacking confidence won’t automatically find it just because someone tells them to believe in themselves.
This feel-good piece of advice has real “try harder” energy. Self-esteem takes years to build and seconds to destroy. If you don’t have it, hearing someone tell you “just have it” isn’t helpful at all.
But we can help with this one. Believing in yourself is easier said than done, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn how. Check out our confidence-boosting tips to help you build self-belief.
Network
Extroverts may find networking a breeze, but introverts recoil in horror at the thought of making small talk with random people to manipulate them into doing a favor.
Networking online is even worse. I have to assume that the people who say “just network on LinkedIn” have never actually tried to network on LinkedIn.
Whenever I use the platform, I can’t help but think of the Star Wars quote about Mos Eisley:
“You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”
I guess that’s true for most social media platforms, though.
Live Within Your Means
Telling people to live within their means only works if their “means” allows them to afford life.
With the rising cost of basically everything, average salaries aren’t cutting it. People can’t afford to save or invest, not because they’re spending recklessly, but because they’re trying to survive.
It costs, on average, about $75,000 per year just to live. Meanwhile, the average salary is about $61,000. The math here isn’t mathing.
People aren’t broke because they’re spending frivolously; they’re broke because basic living costs way too much.
Work-Life Balance
Work-life balance is essential for a happy life.
But we need to stop telling people that they just need to find balance (work less, have more free time, etc.). Yeah, it’s great advice, but it’s easier said than done because it’s not like most of us WANT to work ungodly hours.
We don’t have a choice. Millions of people have to work long hours or second jobs just to afford life. Others are forced to work overtime – they risk losing their job if they decline.
America’s toxic work culture leaves little room for workers to fight back.
Although there are a few people who work long hours because they want to, most of us don’t have a choice. We’d pursue work-life balance if we could.
Eat Healthy
Eating healthy is obviously a better choice, but the advice ignores two vital details: healthy food costs more and takes longer to prepare.
And that’s before we even consider socioeconomic factors like food deserts and lack of ovens.
Those with limited time or money must choose unhealthy meals to avoid starvation.
Losing Weight
Similarly, people love telling overweight folks they need to lose weight. While technically accurate, it’s not easy for most people.
They have to find time and motivation to work out amidst their busy lives, and choosing healthy foods all the time isn’t always an option.
In addition, the advice ignores potential medical reasons for weight gain or difficulty losing it.
Overall, it’s best to just not comment on other people’s physical appearance. But, if you really want to try losing weight, I lost about 20 lbs in four months – here’s how I did it!
Having Kids
Society loves telling people to make babies like it’s nothing.
Okay, sure, it’s easy to make the kid, but raising kids is far more complex than society makes it seem. It does take a village, but that village abandoned mothers long ago.
Parenthood is hard, expensive, and exhausting. People can’t afford to feed themselves, and society is pushing them to bring more lives into the mix?
It’s crazy.
The good news here is that most people aren’t hearing this “advice” from friends and relatives. It’s more of a societal message – and a lot of folks are starting to reject it.
Improve Your Life
The harsh truth is that most advice about improving your life is easier said than done.
Does that mean we shouldn’t try anyway?
No, not all.
In fact, most things worth doing don’t come easy. Self-improvement is hard.
We made this list for two reasons: first, so you could give yourself grace if you can’t follow this “simple advice” because we do acknowledge how difficult it is.
But second, and more important, to tell you that you are capable – even if it is hard.
Sometimes it’s worth doing the hard thing to improve yourself.
So try. Give yourself grace because we all know it’s hard but keep picking yourself up anyway. You’ll be glad you did.