Have you ever looked back on a terrible decision and wondered, “What is wrong with me? Why did I do that?”
Perhaps you have an inkling that you see the world differently than others. You don’t fit in no matter what you do, and you can’t relate to the joys and sorrows of others.
You may even have an unsettling feeling deep in the pit of your stomach, telling you something’s wrong, but you can’t place it.
If you’ve ever wondered, “What is wrong with me?” you’ve come to the right place.
What is Wrong With Me – Top Reasons You May Feel Off
We often ask, “What is wrong with me?” not because we truly care about the exact details of the problem but because we want to change our lives and become the person we always thought we would be.
However, knowing is half the battle because we can’t fix the problem until we fully understand it.
You might feel that something’s wrong with you for many reasons. You might struggle financially while watching all your peers succeed, or you may feel like an outcast, even among your family.
Here are some of the most common reasons we might feel something is wrong and ways to fix it.
There’s Something Wrong With Your Mental Health
Many people feel like there’s something wrong with them because there is. They have a mental health condition that affects their lives.
Mental health issues may include:
- Mental Illness
- Unresolved Trauma
- Existential Crisis
Neurodivergence means your brain works differently than society typically considers “normal.” You may feel like something is wrong because you don’t behave like other people do, but that doesn’t have to be bad.
People with Autism and ADHD are neurodivergent. Their brains process information differently, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Society isn’t built for neurodivergence, but they often have unique ways of solving problems and are better at specific tasks than the people we’d define as “neurotypical.”
An essential feature of neurodivergence is it can’t be cured. It’s not a disease. It’s a difference. However, people with uncurable mental health conditions can use tools and medications that help them exist in the world society considers “normal.”
The medical community typically groups neurodivergence under the umbrella of mental disorders, which could be another reason something feels off.
Millions of people suffer from mood and personality disorders that affect how they process emotions or relate to others.
Personality disorders include things like narcissistic personality disorder or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), while mood disorders include things like bipolar disorder and depression.
People struggling with personality disorders may engage in reckless, destructive behavior that ultimately harms the people around them.
All of these disorders fall under the umbrella of mental illness. They can take control of your life, but you can also overcome these mental disorders under the guidance of a mental health professional.
Sometimes, we feel something wrong because we endured a horrific experience and couldn’t break free from its shackles.
Unresolved trauma can prevent us from living the life we were meant to live. It can hold us down and keep us trapped in our own heads, reliving the trauma repeatedly.
People may have unresolved trauma from abusive parents or partners or from living through an awful event like a car crash, deployment, or assault. Many with unresolved trauma suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which significantly impacts their lives.
An existential crisis forces us to confront our own mortality and the greater meaning of life. You may be stuck because you don’t know how to move forward with the lack of purpose in the world.
Existential crises may strike when something happens that shatters your worldview and may have you questioning everything you’ve ever known about your life.
Tips for Improving Mental Health Problems
If any of these mental health ailments resonate, don’t despair. Tools and resources are available to help you cope.
Try one of these:
Therapy is the absolute best option for those questioning what’s wrong with them due to their mental health. A therapist can help you determine whether you’re experiencing a mental illness, personality disorder, or struggling due to unresolved trauma, and they can help you work through either of these concerns.
Therapists can also identify neurodivergence and help those whose brains work differently identify tools and resources to help them cope in whatever works best for them.
If you think something is wrong with you because you behave differently than other people, visiting a professional should be your first step.
A licensed therapist and psychologist may recommend medication for neurodivergence or mental illness. With many of these ailments, the brain produces either insufficient or too many chemicals or hormones.
Numerous medications can help people feel better and cope better when experiencing either mental illness or neurodivergence. A doctor must prescribe these medications, so please speak with your therapist and physician if you think a medicine may help you feel more like yourself.
Shadow work forces us to dive deep within our psyches and face our truest selves. We keep these parts hidden, even from ourselves, as they often drift toward the darker sides of human nature.
Shadow work helps us come to terms with the worst aspects of ourselves. It allows us to accept our flaws and work towards changing our behavior to become the person we want to be.
Meditation helps us release stress and focus on becoming better versions of ourselves. Meditation can reduce symptoms associated with various mental illnesses, including depression and anxiety, but can also help with physical ailments related to asthma, heart disease, chronic pain, and more.
Some things just are. You can’t change neurodivergence; you can only manage the symptoms and make them as least disruptive as possible.
Accepting the inner truths about yourself, whether it’s a neurodivergence or the fact that you’ll never resolve the true meaning of life, can help you overcome your challenges. Stop saying, “What is wrong with me?” and acknowledge your differences instead.
Many people have found ways to turn the negative aspects of their neurodivergence into positives, but you’ll never get there unless you can accept yourself for who you are.
There’s Something Wrong in Your Social Relationships
Humans are social creatures. We thrived as a species due to our ability to work together. We need each other and crave social relationships.
You may wonder, “What is wrong with me if you don’t have a solid social circle.” Here are some common problems among those who feel like something is missing because they don’t have social connections:
- Lack of Friends
- Family Support
- Unable to Find a Partner
Lack of Friends
Friendships are essential to a happy life. Unfortunately, far too many people neglect their platonic relationships, especially when overwhelmed with the burdens and responsibilities of daily life.
In an ideal world, our family will always be there for us. People tout family relationships as the golden ticket to happiness.
The harsh truth is that not all families are shining examples of cooperation. Many of us have toxic, abusive parents we can’t rely on, and others have no family.
You may feel like something is wrong with you when, in fact, there’s something wrong with your family.
Unable to Find a Partner
Our society pushes marriage as the ultimate ascent into adulthood, shaming people who remain single. When the pinnacle of success is finding a partner, those without one may feel something wrong.
Others genuinely want a partner and think there’s something wrong with them because they can’t seem to attract one.
Regardless of which side of the coin you fall on, the lack of romantic success may have you asking, “What’s wrong with me?”
Tips for Improving Your Social Relationships
If your struggles with interpersonal relationships lead you to wonder what’s wrong with you, consider these potential fixes.
Nurture the Friendships You Have
Start with the friends you have or have had.
Many of us lose cherished friends for silly reasons. We don’t give them enough time and energy, or we get into stupid fights, and our egos get in the way of apologizing.
Make more of an effort to maintain the friendships you do have. Call an old companion from high school to see how they’re doing. Reinvest in your relationships. Dedicate time to the friends you already have, and you’ll start feeling better about yourself.
Put Yourself Out There
Some folks have no friends or moved far away from any support system. Making friends as an adult is much more challenging, but technology has made it easier than ever.
You just need to take that first step.
Join Meetup and go to group functions that pique your interest. Volunteer for a cause near and dear to you to meet like-minded people. Get active in your community by joining the softball team or taking a class at the community center.
There are thousands of ways to connect with new people, but they all involve putting yourself out there.
They won’t come to you.
Take a Hard Look at Yourself
It’s time for a reality check. You may not be able to attract a partner because you’re undesirable. It’s a harsh truth far too many people don’t want to accept, but if you want to improve your chances, you must face it.
We’re sold the idea that people must love you for who you are and that love conquers all. These are both false.
To be a desirable partner, you must bring something to the table. No one will love you for simply existing.
You must examine yourself through the lens of a potential partner or friend. What would make you more attractive than the next person? Consider your attitude, your hygiene, the cleanliness of your home, and your standard of living.
If you want a partner, you must become someone others want to be with.
Family Don’t End in Blood
Many people from toxic families struggle with relationships because they fall victim to the idea that family is everything. They then think something is wrong with them when their family scorns and ridicules them.
Understanding that not all families are shining examples of love is vital. It’s okay to cut contact with family, despite the blood relationship.
In the end, we can’t choose our families. However, we can choose our friends, and often, the misfits of toxic families band together to create their own families of love and support.
There’s Something Wrong with Career or Finances
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs highlights security and job satisfaction’s importance to human psychology. In our modern world, the “security” of layer two implies financial security, as money provides food, shelter, clothing, and other essentials. Job satisfaction represents the third, a sense of belonging in the community.
We may wonder what’s wrong with us if we can’t achieve these vital steps to human happiness. Here are some signs that your question, “What is wrong with me,” comes from financial insecurity or a meaningless career.
Here are some signs your worries relate to financial or career insecurity:
- Struggling To Get Ahead
- Feeling Overwhelmed
- You’re Not Living the Life You Planned
Struggling To Get Ahead
As you watch your peers buy houses, excel in their careers, and galavant around the world without a car in the world while you’re barely holding your head above water, you may wonder if something is wrong with you.
Why does everything work out so well for others when you can barely pay rent?
Other people may have financial security, but they see their friends with three kids, home-cooked meals, and immaculate houses and wonder how they find the time.
You order takeout every night and can’t keep up with the dishes. You may wonder if there’s something wrong with you because you’re too overwhelmed to work and take care of your basic needs.
Not the Life You Planned
Sometimes, we have solid finances and a great home life, yet we’re still unhappy. You may be asking, “What’s wrong with me,” because on paper, everything seems perfect, yet you still aren’t happy.
Those feelings are valid. It’s difficult to accept that the life you’re living isn’t the life that you planned, regardless of the reason why.
Coping with Financial or Career Disappointments
Here’s what to do when financial burdens and career pitfalls have you questioning whether something’s wrong with you.
Remember, it’s the System
The most vital way to combat the feeling that something is wrong with you is to remember it’s not you; it’s the system.
Many modern financial woes directly result from a system designed to siphon money from the bottom to deepen the pockets at the top. Our laws and traditions celebrate profits above all else, shipping jobs overseas and turning human rights like housing, healthcare, and education into capitalistic profit centers.
We celebrate work above all else, including family and leisure, and deride folks who dare imagine a lifestyle centered on anything other than money.
It’s not your fault if you can’t beat the system. It wasn’t designed that way.
The best option is to work within the system to improve your personal situation while fighting it by voting for policies that help regular people just like you.
Improve Your Skills
The best way to work within the system is to improve your skills, making yourself more marketable for higher-paying jobs.
Ask your manager for more projects at work, get extra certifications, and seek continual learning in your field. Fill your resume with credentials, accolades, and experience to improve your chances of scoring a great job.
Create Your Own Work
The vast majority of available jobs are horrible. They’re soul-sucking and pay far too little for the work required. Toxic managers expect employees to give up their personal lives for the business, offering very little in return.
Many have decided it’s better to take control of their futures by creating their own jobs. They pick up freelance projects to work on their own terms, start blogs and YouTube channels to share information with others, or sell their fantastic creations in online shops.
Using technology to create your own work allows you to ascend Maslow’s second and third layers on your terms.
Rekindle Your Passions
It’s never too late to change your life.
If you’re wondering what’s wrong with you because your life doesn’t align with what you imagined, it’s time to go back to what you imagined.
Find ways to incorporate pieces of your dream life into your current life. Read books on the topic, explore it as a hobby, or return to school for a formal education.
It may not be exactly what you imagined, but even enjoying something as a hobby might be enough to make you feel better.
Demand Work-Life Balance
We may feel overwhelmed and out of whack because we can’t keep up with all the responsibilities at home and work.
Work-life balance is vital in these circumstances. Insist on your time off. Stop taking extra shifts. Refuse to engage with a toxic boss who demands all your time. Engage in relaxing self-care activities.
If your current job prevents any of this, it may be time to find a new career that values employees as whole human beings.
Respect Your Choices
A harsh truth about life you must accept is that you can’t have it all. Everyone must make choices that will impact how their lives turn out. Sometimes, when you walk through one door, you must accept that you’re locking other doors for good.
You can either go to law school or medical school, not both. Children require commitment and sacrifice. Dream jobs are notoriously underpaid, while high-stress jobs rake in the cash.
Respect the choices you made that drove you to where you are. It was probably the right choice for you.
There’s Something Wrong with Your Confidence
You may struggle with a plethora of these issues, but when you break it down, you realize that your feelings of incompleteness all come from a place of insecurity and lack of self-worth. You may struggle both at home and at work if you don’t have the confidence you deserve.
Here are some signs that what’s wrong with you is a self-esteem issue:
- You Struggle With Self Esteem
- Imposter syndrome
- Unsure Yourself or Your Place in the World
- Fixed Mindset
People lacking self-esteem struggle to approach others for friendships or romantic relationships. They struggle at work because they fear they aren’t good enough to take on additional tasks or not worthy of the next promotion.
A lack of self-esteem can permeate every aspect of your life, making things far more complicated than they need to be.
Imposter syndrome is the feeling that you don’t deserve the things you have. People with imposter syndrome fear that one day, they’ll be found out, and everyone will see them for the fraud they really are.
Usually, these folks are qualified and deserving of all they have, but imposter syndrome acts like a psychological block, preventing them from enjoying and appreciating their own successes.
Unsure of Yourself
Some folks struggle because they’re unsure of their abilities and desires. They freeze up and do nothing because if they do something, anything, that means they’d have to make a decision.
But they don’t know what to do, so they can’t decide. Some feeling unsure of themselves may fear failure to such an extent that they don’t act, feeling like it’s better not to do anything and remain uncertain of their abilities than to try something and know they can’t succeed.
People with a fixed mindset believe they’re born with all the innate talents and abilities they’ll ever have. Unfortunately, this view becomes a massive limitation, as it prevents them from trying new things and attempting to grow.
Boosting Your Confidence
Fortunately, most self-esteem and confidence issues are fixable with attitude adjustments. Here are some things you can do if you’re struggling with self-esteem.
Fake It ‘Till You Make It
The best way to build confidence is to fake confidence. Hold your head up high. Move with intention. Walk into a room with presence.
Of course, you must know your limitations. Don’t pretend that you know what you’re doing in high-stakes situations where you could mess things up. There’s a massive line between confidence and arrogance.
Confident people aren’t afraid to ask questions when they don’t know something, and they aren’t afraid to share the spotlight with others.
You’ll never truly know your limits until you push yourself past them. Confidence is about knowing precisely what you’re capable of, so if you’ve never discovered that, you must start now.
Take on a challenging project at work or commit to a tough workout challenge. Explore the limits of what you can do and push yourself past them.
Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
Many of us hide inside our comfort zones because they’re safe and cozy, but they hinder growth. To build confidence, you must step outside it and do stuff you wouldn’t normally do.
Join a theater group, take a solo trip, or start small and eat at a restaurant by yourself. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Cultivate a Growth Mindset
Mindsets aren’t set in stone. You can change a fixed mindset to a growth mindset by opening your mind to the possibility of learning, growing, and developing new skills.
Start by exploring a hobby that you’ve always loved but never tried. Take some classes, watch some videos, and just try it.
It won’t be perfect the first time, and that’s okay. Your first failure will lead to future success. Remember that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.
There’s Something Wrong with Your Body
Sometimes, we ask, “What is wrong with me,” when something is seriously wrong with our physical health. If you’re experiencing weird or painful symptoms that lead you to ask what’s wrong, you must stop searching the internet and make an appointment with your doctor.
The disasters you find on the internet are typically the worst-case scenario. Seeing a doctor will help you pinpoint exactly what is wrong and lead you toward recovery.
Becoming the Person You Were Meant To Be
The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one. You took that first step in asking, “What is wrong with me,” and discovered a plethora of possibilities.
Consider the possibilities that resonate most with you, and focus on the small steps you can start today to effect positive change in your life.
Over time, you’ll feel more comfortable in your own skin and become the person you always wanted to be.
All it takes is one step forward. You’ve got this.